[Ralph]

We’re here. That’s not the issue. The issue is that we are not the ones in the bars hitting on you, partying til 5am. We’re not the muscle-bound guys. We’re not the metrosexuals. Woman ALWAYS say that they are looking for traits like sense of humor and the things you mentioned. But when push-comes-to-shove if I am at the same party as the bad boy player, I will not get a second glance. You can’t find us because you are looking right through us.

User Detail :  

Name : Ralph, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : Bergen County, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[QWERTY30335]

That is not true. The reason you don’t see men like that is because you are in the worng part of the world. I know plenty of guys back home who would fit the bill. (I recently moved to the US). Its because of the culture. Men are not taught to respect women from the start (with the amount of porn easily available all around, and men not being taught the value of marrage. How many ne do u know who are not afraid of commitment?). And if a clean cut guy (as described above) actually comes along, he gets branded as a NICE guy, and we all know that nice guys finish last. And as far as opening doors, standing for women, etc, doesn’t that go against feminism? I mean what do equal rights mean then? And from what I have seen here, women 18-27 like to be treated like shit and pieces of meat. That explains all the bad boys being so succesful. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. You want to meet ‘old-fashioned and proper’ men, move to a different continent, or start dating (skilled worker) immigrants.

User Detail :  

Name : QWERTY30335, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Age : 25, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[Nick20009]

Chances are, you won’t find that perfect one. I tend to pay atttention to what other people do just out of curiosity of how people act (You’d be suprised how much you can learn this way). I’d say the biggest reason is the way children are raised now…it’s just pathetic. Myself, not completely old fashioned, I’ll admit, but I don’t see myself as a bad guy…a bit unattractive, but that seems to be the way the world turns. It’s usually the not so attractive guys that are the nicest because they have to make up for the lack of looks. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places. Ever notice how the majority of society goes by looks? Not many pay much attention to the way they act. But, as always, there are exceptions to everything.

User Detail :  

Name : Nick20009, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Religion is Myth, Age : 23, City : Newburgh, State : IN, Country : United States, Occupation : Manufacturing/Student, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 

[Bethany23220]

First, it’s something that has to be taught. If a boy’s father wasn’t like that, then they won’t be. I think it’s partly because fathers, up until very recently, were not big influences in children’s lives, and that chivalry has gone out of style. But maybe the biggest reason you don’t see men doing this is because they’re afraid to. I have heard of men who were charged with sexual harassment because they opened a door for a woman–though it is ridiculous, it happens. Radical feminism rejects chivalry as being discrimination. It isn’t impossible to find men like this, though. My boyfriend will hold doors open for anyone that is behind us, men, women, the elderly, and teens, and we’ve had our share of glares and curses (though also some thanks, and a majority of people ignore us). He opens my door, pulls out my chair at the table, etc. He is this way because his dad taught him that it was right. Incidentally, when I as a young female hold open a door for someone, if it is a woman, I usually get glares and anger. Men seem grateful, and they’re the ones who usually thank me with a smile. Kind of odd…

User Detail :  

Name : Bethany23220, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Medford, State : OR, Country : United States, Occupation : Unemployed, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Eugene]

There are lots. They also go along with the attitude of ‘women belong in the kitchen’, ‘I’m the boss because I’m the man’ etc. It also offends me that I must stand up or open a door for someone etc. simply because they happen to be female. Should black people stand up when a white person walks into the room? I don’t think so. Sexism is as bad as racism.

User Detail :  

Name : Eugene, City : Johannesburg, State : NA, Country : South Africa, 

[Meiran]

While he might not stand when I enter a room, my boyfriend does have a very classic and respectful attitude. I think that the problem is that the type of mate anyone is looking for is hard to find. Especially for women who tend to have very specific things they’re looking for. I lucked out with a friend of a friend situation. The only advice that can ever be given is to just keep an eye out. And don’t waste yourself looking, live your life.

User Detail :  

Name : Meiran, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Roanoke, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Matt]

I consider myself to be that way, most of the time. I don’t stand when a woman enters the room – that point seems to be dying out – but I try to do all the rest, and I know quite a few other guys my age who are that way. Perhaps you have simply been looking in places that do not draw this sort of man.

User Detail :  

Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Charles]

I think it is very much a societal matter partially driven my the media. For starters, what you are describing was once called ‘chivalry’. It was (is) the proper conduct a man displayed toward women. With equal rights, and I’m not saying this is bad, men questioned women’s desire for this treatment. Sort of, ‘If we’re equal, do I need to hold the door for them? Does it mean that I’m a chauvanist if I hold the door, stand when a woman enters, etc.?’ We became very confused. Second, and just as important, boys learn their conduct from their male role models. Who are these? In divorced, single parent homes, boys are not likely to see a model of male conduct as you have described. As you call it, it’s ‘old fashioned’. How many young men’s role models are ‘celebrities’ from Holly-weird? Guys whose movies or music degrade women? Seen music videos lately? You know what I mean. For what it’s worth, there are still decent, respecting, ‘old fashioned’ guys out there. They’ve been taught to respect people, not just women. The old ‘do unto others..’ type of upbringing. It goes back to parenting. Good character, in my opinion, starts with the parents. Boundaries, discipline, lessons in right and wrong. Respect and compassion are learned at home and carried into society.

User Detail :  

Name : Charles, Gender : M, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[Moonkngt]

As one of ‘those guys’, I can certainly say that we are out here. Holding doors, chairs, picking up the check, things of that nature. As to why there are so few of us, because respect for other people is being slowly breed out of our culture. My friends laughed at me for standing for the national anthem. They said, ‘Why do you bother, no one else is!’ My response, ‘Because I want to do what is right.’

User Detail :  

Name : Moonkngt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 39, City : Hickory, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : material handler, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 

[GM21519]

The good news is that contrary to popular belief, once you find a man you love, you can train him to do a lot of these things. My husband probably never sent a thank you note in his life before he met me, but now he writes them immediately. And he gets a kick out of opening the car door for me. We’re working on consistent napkin usage. I’m sure we’ll get him there.

User Detail :  

Name : GM21519, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 25, City : Somerville, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Ned20151]

You have to realize that the majority of men that have that ‘old-fashioned’ way about them expect women to act in that same. I’m guessing you didn’t become a graduate student to learn how to cook and clean? I’m not trying to be offensive, just practical.

User Detail :  

Name : Ned20151, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Jewish, City : Saskatoon, State : NA, Country : Canada, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Michael C]

I’ve found that a large majority of men who take the time to be chivalrous, caring, attentive, etc. are often those that are overlooked because of less than optimal physical attributes. Turns out the ‘Beauty is only skin deep’ thing had a ring of truth to it. Oddly enough, this trend is universal. Many of the women men can’t find are in the same predicament.

User Detail :  

Name : Michael C, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Tallahassee, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Law Enforcement, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mariah30186]

My man is 22 years old and he is a real gentleman. He appreshiates traditional family values, believes that a man should provide for his family and he won´t even allow me to go home alone late at night but he´ll escort me to my door. He treats women with respect (me most especially) and takes care of his appearance. He likes to wear nice shirts and straight pants and he always smells nice.. and I love him to pieces. He is also Nigerian. Keep an open mind and don´t dismiss a possible partner based on the first date, get to know each other well and most importantly demand respect. We truely teach people how to treat us.

User Detail :  

Name : Mariah30186, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 21, City : Helsinki, State : NA, Country : Finland, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, 

[Ann30940]

Victorian attitude: Women are not merely inferior, but vile and evil. Irrespective of what the Bible says, God did not create women. Satan put them on Earth to tempt men to sin. Women must be punished for their innate evil. A woman’s body is ugly and corrupt, and must be covered at all times. Women are intrinsically less intelligent than men, and if a woman receives any education beyond grade school, it will make her sterile and drive her insane, because her lesser intellect can’t accomodate any higher concept than ‘Cook, clean, sew, make babies.’ Is that the ‘Victorian attitude’ you have? Is it any wonder women find it unattractive?

User Detail :  

Name : Ann30940, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : KC, State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Kimberly]

i think that the reason why it is hard ot find old fashioned young men is because, most boys are ot brought up that way anymore; you thank women’s lib for that. i completely agree with equality, fair treatment, etc but i do not agree with lack of respect, chivalry or class. its not just pertaining to women, either. younger people should treat their elders with much more respect and grace. it truly is a shame…

User Detail :  

Name : Kimberly, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 29, City : Knoxville, State : TN, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

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