Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 16 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 11 months ago by
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I was watching some gay porn the other day and a lot of the anal sex just looked so uncomfortable. Are there any gay men who find anal sex uncomfortable and not really a turn-on?
Original Code SE68. Click here to see responses from the original archives. Click “to respond” below to reply.User Detail :
Name : Lisa22782, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 19, City : Santa Monica, State : CA, Country : United States,Yes. I have spoken with gay men, and it seems to be a function of the individual, rather than gay/straight. I know straight women who love anal sex, and straight women who abhor it. Gay men are the same.
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Name : Kerry, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 29, City : Ventura, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,There are indeed gay men who find anal sex uncomfortable, but it is often due to the internalized homophobia of the recipient (some guys therefore like being the “top” because they don’t want to perceive themselves as being a “woman”). This attitude among some gay men is present, but only because they are just in the process of becoming comfortable with their sexuality.
Assuming you are not a virgin, can you honestly say that the first time you had a penis enter your vagina that the sensations were comfortable? Probably not. It’s possible, then, that the individual(s) on the receiving end in the porno were being entered for the first time (hesitance + nervousness = “tension” and possible pain). It is the perception of how one views anal sex that determines whether one will enjoy it. If you ever think of trying anal sex, I suggest you do it the smart way and read the book Anal Health and Pleasure: A Guide for Men and Women. Highly recommended.
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Name : G. Chan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, Age : 16, City : Toronto, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Cultural Change Agent, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,There are some gay men who don’t engage in intercourse at all and some who only penetrate; however, as a previous respondent said, this is often due to fear. They would enjoy it if they tried it. It should be noted that straight men can enjoy (and have phenomenal orgasms – either in conjunction with or independent of penile stimulation) stimulation of the anus, rectum and prostate. Women can use their fingers and tongues to stimulate their male lovers. Many straight men (and gay men, for that matter) miss out on this incredible form of sex, which in some ways is an even more direct route to the center of physical male sexuality than stimulation of the penis. Gay men do have the advantage of being able to have an incredibly wide variety of sex, but so do straights.
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Name : H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : white Southerner, Religion : Methodist, Age : 25, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Occupation : statistician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Good question. My 34-year-old girlfriend really wanted – really, really wanted – to try anal sex, and it wasn’t a driving force in my sexuality. But I aim to please! I started her with a very moderate sift butt-plug and lots of silicone lubricant. That went fine. She liked that very well. Next time, the anal intercourse went just fine, and was pleasurable for both of us. So I’d say going slow, being erotic about it, and keeping a sense of humor and openness was a key thing. Plus, lots of lube.
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Name : Neill, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 49, City : Princeton, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,There are guys who are not into anal sex or find it uncomfortable, but if the active partner knows what he’s doing and takes the time to make sure his partner is relaxed and aroused enough, it can be a mind-blowing experience. The prostate gland is massaged during intercourse, and this is extremely pleasurable if the time is taken to relax the anal muscles properly. Most straight guys wouldn’t let anyone near their anus for fear they might be labeled ‘queer,’ but they don’t know what they’re missing! I’m glad to see that so many books on Tantra now mention this very important aspect of sex. Anal massage is now being taught for straight couples as well, and it’s about time. The foundation of a man’s sexual pleasure is the prostate (even more so than the penis), and most straight men ignore it until it starts causing them problems.
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Name : Khephra, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Thelemite, Age : 41, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States,Sometimes there is no difference between the expression of pleasure and expression of pain. For example, when Joe Cocker sings he looks like is having a permanent heart attack. Of course, anything forced back “there” could be painful. But when the penis or a dildo has slipped inside (when the sphincters are relaxed as if you are having a crap), the pleasure is almost inexorable.
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Name : Gilles Landry, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Montréal, Quebec, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Teacher,Some gay men do not particularly care for anal sex, just as some heterosexuals don’t find oral sex a turn-on. In any large group of people, you can find likes and dislikes of just about anything. Gay men who do enjoy receptive anal sex, though, find it a turn-on primarily because anal penetration stimulates the prostate (the sensitive gland where semen is produced). When the prostate is stimulated (via anal penetration), many men will ejaculate without even touching the penis. Incidentally, some straight men enjoy prostate stimulation, too. Several of my straight male friends have told me that their girlfriends stimulate their prostates during sex (usually with their fingers). Because a woman does not have a prostate gland, she usually will not receive as much pleasure as a man does from anal stimulation.
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Name : Michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, Age : 30, City : Tel Aviv, State : NA, Country : Israel, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don’t think porn should be regarded as an accurate representation of sexual behavior or experience. In the straight pornography I have seen, the male performer often seems to be attempting to be as violent as possible. As mainstream porn and gay porn are both made for and by males, it is likely this applies to gay porn, also. The actions that would lead to a more comnfortable experience, such as much lubrication and after an enema would take up screen time, root the performance in mundane reality and show some consideration for the performers. I am afraid these are not really characteristics of porn. I do not doubt that the gay experience of gay sex runs from aversion to extreme over(?) indulgence, e.g. fisting. Personally as a straight male this is an area I would like to explore more, if only women could have a penis.
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Name : Max, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 28, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Yes.
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Name : Jim30741, Gender : M, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, City : Margate, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,Lisa, a young woman such as yourself has no need to know these things. Frankly, if you think about it, it’s kind of a silly question. As a former ‘porno star,’ I can tell you that you are going down the path of ruin just by watching these things. True life has so much more to offer. The pit is deep. Do not fall in it. Happy trails.
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Name : Fred-A, Gender : M, City : Miami, State : FL, Country : United States,YES LISA THERE ARE A LOT OF GAY MEN WHO DON’T ENJOY ANAL SEX. ON THE FLIP SIDE THERE ARE STRAIGHT WOMEN WHO ENJOY IT TOO. IT LIKE EVERTHING ELSE IS A PREFERENCE AND MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH AN INDIVIDUALS PHYSIOLOGY.
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Name : ED25561, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 47, City : THE DALLES, State : OR, Country : United States, Occupation : CARE GIVER, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class,No. Based on personal experience, group discussions, and interviews I can say with confidence that a large minority of gay men do not like anal sex. Reasons? a. Pain during penetration. (If the receptive partner learns how to relax the right muscles, anal sex can be very enjoyable.) b. Fear of disease transmission (HIV, STDs, hepatitis, etc.) Condoms can greatly reduce, but not eliminate, risks. Concerns about disease apply to both partners. c. Some men do not find the role of insertive partner all that enjoyable. They just don’t get much out of it. Having said that, IF disease transmission is not an issue (it can be a non-issue in situations of mutual knowledge and trust) I guess that at least 60% of all gay men like anal sex. Anal sex produces more intense pleasure sensations (if simple technique is mastered).
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Name : gayhistorywork, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 58, City : Minneapolis, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : social service, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Whereas some might find it uncomfortable (especially without experience), I find there are few things more fulfilling – the feeling of having a penis up the back is quite exhilarating.
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Name : m27018, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Age : 31, City : m, State : NA, Country : Germany,There are many, many gay men who will only be ‘top’, never ‘bottom’. Sometimes this is because they find being penetrated physically uncomfortable, other times it’s a mental thing. There are also gay men who won’t engage in anal sex at all, and just stick with oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc. I’ve seen a lot of porn movies where the bottom partner is not aroused and looks discomfitted, at best. But I can’t imagine penetration being anything but uncomfortable if I weren’t already aroused.
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Name : Richie, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Rahway, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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