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Divide chores; like, let her do the breastfeeding

Dividing the domestic work among couples who recently moved in together can be tricky. My wife and I discovered the best way to “delegate” work was to sit down and decide what we each “liked” doing, as opposed to “I’m not doing that.” That only causes trouble. For example, my wife “likes” doing laundry, I “like” dusting and vacuuming. The 50/50 theory simply will not work, because you start arguing who-did-what-last and how much of it. We discovered it’s best to stick with what you each do best, and be the sole person responsible for that task. As far as child care goes, same thing. One thing we did decide on was that she was the person who did all the feeding (because she breastfed, which I highly recommend) and I changed the diapers exclusively. It’s a shitty job, but someone has to do it (sorry). Over time, you’ll discover who-does-what. The trick is to be patient and understanding and respectful. Remember, you are going to be with this person for the rest of your life, hammer out the rules now!

Murray C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation: Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 31, City : Halifax, Nova Scotia, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Draftsman, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 34159

In reply to:

To heterosexuals who are married or who live with their partners: In all honesty, how do you divide the domestic work in your home? Is my girlfriend – who thinks I’m naive for expecting my new live-in partner to do half the cooking and cleaning (and maybe someday, childcare)- wrong?

Rhiannon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 28, City : Minneapolis, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Media studies graduate student

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