Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
Forum Replies Created
- Posts
You’re smart to recognize that you have to do something, because you’re the one with the problem. You’re not going to change them, nor apparently do you expect to get them fired for being openly gay. So, what’s left? Your note suggests that you are very uncomfortable around gay people. You need to decrease your discomfort level. Here are some ideas: 1) they’re going to continue looking at you. (If it helps, remember that women may feel just as uncomfortable about your looking at them as you feel being looked at.) So, get used to it. Just because they look at you doesn’t mean you or they will ever do anything about it. 2) their conversations distress you. Listen carefully to what they say. Maybe you’re hearing selectively and tuning out the non-sexual things they say. Or maybe they are obnoxiously sex-crazed. If so, you can explain to them that at work you like to focus on work topics and that sexual chat of any sort is inappropriate. (And it is; you don’t make sexual comments to or about women at work, either.) 3) watch out for dangerous words like ‘normal.’ Being gay is normal for lots of people (just as being left-handed is normal for lots of people). If I were you, I’d apologize for calling people names. (Yes, just like sticks and stones, names hurt.) And I’d start examining other comments and behavior in which you may communicate your negative reactions to gay people. It’s possible that one of the reasons these fellows act up is as a response to the hostility you telegraph to them. Since you can’t control them, your best course of action is to change yourself. Try to look past what is disturbing you to see the common humanity that you all share. You don’t need to like them – they may in fact be offensive, uncouth people. But you do have to work together. Why not give them a chance to work with you as a colleague? Everybody is worth at least that much.
User Detail :
Name : Tom24112, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Age : 56, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States,
