[Lisa]

I’m a white woman currently dating a black man. My criteria for dating has usually had nothing to do with race, but with geography, availability and attitude. I’ve never been asked out by African, Asian, Mexican or any other non-Caucasion man. So this is a new experience for me. I thought I would feel different kissing him, making love to him, etc. The funny thing is, I don’t. I feel just as free with him as with every other man I’m with. Am I more or less attracted to him because of his skin color? No, but there was that initial hesitancy about whether being with a man whose skin color was so much darker than mine would make the whole intimacy issue a big deal.

I say all of this as a preface to this remark: I think color does matter in the initial stages of a relationship. For me, the attraction to Carl was there, but there was also some inherent need to keep him at arm’s length because he was different. But he was also, initially, a curiosity to me, too. What would be different about him?

As to why he is with a white woman, I don’t know. I don’t want to ask. His answer may be the same as mine, which is I just don’t give a damn. What would disturb me, however, would be if he only wanted white women because of a prejudice he had against black women. So I guess I don’t want to know.

The idea that women of lighter complexion are more attractive might have more to do with what’s portrayed in the media. I know that sounds stereotypical, but I think it really does hold true. You tend to like what you always see. Just as a toddler only wants to play with something that another child has, people tend to want only the things that someone shows them. So, you see 90 percent white women being touted as the be-all, end-all of beauty, and you tend to get woodies at lighter women. Just as it is with skinny women, and big-breasted women. Most women aren’t like that, but that’s what most men go for. The trick is to find a man who has an imagination and who is an explorer. A Vasco de Gama or Amerigo Vespucci of the enlightened age. A man who seeks out that which is unusual, new and different. Someone who isn’t satisfied with what he knows, but loves discovering that which makes him happy.

User Detail :  

Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 32, City : Kansas City, State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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