[Katie]

I’m a 14-year-old high school freshman and have been depresed for about two-and-a-half years. I have had suicidal thoughts for about two of them. I have attempted suicide once, but my parents came home and I was forced to stop. My plan was, and still is, to overdose on asprin. Frankly, it is hard to explain the feelings that are associated with depression, especially in teenagers. Often, as in my case, you loose touch with reality. My friends tell me that I have become ‘too sensitive.’ I alternate between crying and yelling, mainly because I do not know how else to express the pain that I am carrying around inside of me. I feel like a hopeless reculse who can’t do anything right. I think of suicide at least one time every hour of every day. Unfortunately, recognizing that there is something wrong with me and knowing that I need professional help is not enough to actually get it. It feels like am at the bottom of a very dark pit, and everyone else is living above me. The more I scream for help, the farther away they get. I’ve broken off from the word. I’m always tired, and I sleep as much as possible on weekends, just to escape the horror that has become my life. I’ve lost any pretense of a social life. I am slowly wasting away, becoming a body without a soul. I am rapidly becoming more desperate, and my thoughts of suicide become more frequent and elaborate. The way I see it, the world would be better of without people like me contaminating the gene pool. Yet, I am still afraid to as for help. Afaid that my peers will see me as even more strange than they already think I am, afraid that I might be hospitalized and be forced to quit school for a few months, which would ruin my chances to go to a good college, if I haven’t done that already. Perhaps, most of all, I am afraid that someone might actually listen.

User Detail :  

Name : Katie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 14, City : San Diego, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

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