[Jim]

jamara, i think you have asked a very good question. i think that people who think of themselves as 'white' get nervous talking about race issues for several possible reasons. first of all, 'white' people may be intimidated by the anger of others, and will sometimes assume that people will use the discussion as an opportunity to verbally 'beat up on' them. others may be nervous about thinking about the subject at all, because it forces them to confront the fact that they may in fact enjoy privileges in society based on their appearance, or may harbor racist attitudes. even if your life is relatively easy and free from care, it's hard to check yourself and wonder 'what part might i be playing in making someone else's life harder in order to make mine easier?' it's much more comfortable to think 'i'm basically a good person' and avoid thinking about difficult issues, because our pale skin acts as a shield protecting us from having to think about it if we don't want to. i think there are a lot of people who identify themselves as 'white' who think that they are being unfairly judged or mistreated based on something that 'happened in the past', unaware or unwilling to face the fact that it's still happening now. all that having been said, i have friends of various racial/ethnic backgrounds who are more nervous or less nervous talking about it; i think it's more a reflection of how willing a person is to examine their life and the role that they play in society. i thank you for doing so, and encourage you to continue.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

it was relatively recent history when we came to realize that the earth was not the center of the universe, with the sun revolving around it. up to a certain point in time, people were burned at the stake for even suggesting it (at least, in european-dominated cultures). the same is true for a person's supposed right to own another, etc. i think that not only is change the most fundamental human characteristic, it is the most fundamental characteristic of all things. the only real question is, how much pain and suffering will we inflict on each other attempting to avoid the change that is inevitable?

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

As an employee of a state academic institution related to health care, I find that there is a culture inside our facility that sees ourselves a certain way - that of a culture of service. None of us is a perfect little worker bee, but we are deep down motivated by this feeling. We work very hard to fulfill a need in society that is not always supported by the wealthier segments of that society. The people we help often tell us they are extremely grateful for the work we do on their behalf. The only people who complain about us are people who have no contact with us and only see us in the abstract, based on their political and ideological opinions, such as people who simply believe that 'all state employees are lazy and incompetent or unhelpful' and that our existence is a waste of their taxes, until the day comes when they get in a car accident and suddenly we're the best friends they ever had.

The sad thing is that after a while, service people feel underappreciated and move on to other professions that might pay more or are less thankless, but aren't in service to anyone. I think it's sad that our society makes artificial heirarchies in which it is considered more 'successful' to be a stockbroker than it is to be a nurse. Nursing is a great job; nurses are in short supply and desperately needed, and the job pays pretty darn well compared to most other jobs requiring the same amount of education. But people aren't motivated to become nurses because they are brainwashed to think they should be learning all about computers instead. Iin the place I work it's actually very hard to get a position because you're somebody's nephew, so maybe it's different here than in other places.

The stereotype that is true is the one about bureaucracy. You would have nightmares if only you knew how much paperwork it takes to make the smallest thing happen here, not to mention how long it takes that paper to move. But that's the only way to really prevent things like nepotism.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

amazing, some friends and i were just talking about this last night. i think our misconception might, perhaps, have been influenced by a certain few rappers (certainly not all) who declared at one time or another 'i ain't no pussy eater!' or words to that effect, implying that it is a sign of weakness. it's pretty dumb for us to make generalizations about black men's sexuality based on something we saw on mtv-2, but unfortunately that is just the kind of generalization one makes when too embarrassed to call up our african american friends and ask them. which is why this web site is so sorely needed. i am very glad to be disabused of this notion.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

It's interesting because the great literature of the past always represented the extremes really well, what with Jack London, Charles Dickens, Tolstoy, etc., but people of what you might call lower-middle or 'underachiever intellectual' class hadn't been represented very clearly recently until the groundbreaking novel 'Generation X' by Douglas Coupland, which was a huge revelation to a lot of people. There have been a lot of books, TV shows and movies following in the wake of that novel that mirrored its depiction of this class of people with varying degrees of probity. The image of the downwardly mobile, well-read but chronically underemployed ne'er-do-well of the current era of technology industries, mass downsizing and global markets run amok is a relatively new specimen marked by a new psychology. There are people like us in every developed nation and in plenty of the undeveloped ones. We feel no class loyalty or work ethic, and frequenly espouse anarchist ideas even while wallowing in shallow consumerism. We'll probably see more and more books written about us, as we're a rich target market for exploitation. We could have become world leaders or social pillars if we weren't so cynical, and we're in danger of being lined up against a wall and shot in the next revolution. We're like the people Jesus criticized for being 'neither hot nor cold.' Literature will do us a service when it stops seeing us as exotica and more as a symptom of the world's ills. But I can't see that happening in the near future.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

speaking as a mostly straight male, i have flirted with gay male friends when a certain amount of trust has been established between us; usually when they started it. i may not have felt turned on, but i certainly felt flattered. everybody wants to feel like they might be desirable to others. it's an ego trip. so if someone you don't have a trust relationship with flirts with you, it could be that they are trying to mess with your mind, or that they are on an ego or power trip, or are sexually confused--it really depends on the individual. i knew a supposedly 'straight' christian woman who sexually harrassed her female co-workers and was fired because of it; in that instance, some of it was about confusion, but most of it was about power pure and simple. it was a way for her to dominate them. i think she also had sociopathic tendencies. to the best of my intentions, i wouldn't flirt with a gay friend or acquaintance if i honestly thought it might make them uncomfortable.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

It sounds like you know exactly who you are and don't apologize for it, which I admire.

Maybe it has something to do with the sort of people I generally hang around with or where I grew up (northern California), but I have had several African-American friends who liked the kinds of music you describe and shared your opinions about music in general. I think what it boils down to is that some people are more conformist and others like to go their own way, either from a different level of education or just their innate personality.

I was a teenager during the '70s, when many of my self-identified 'white' peers made racist comments about disco, funk and soul music as being inferior to 'rock,' ignorant of the fact that bands like the Stones, The Who and Led Zeppelin borrowed or stole music piecemeal from African-American blues artists. However, there were a lot of 'white' kids who didn't identify so much with their whiteness who appreciated that disco, funk and soul music were fun to listen and dance to and a great way to socialize. These kids tended to mix comfortably with kids from other ethnic groups, while the 'rocker' kids did not. The two groups hated each other passionately.

I was too much a nerd to have any friends, so I didn't hang out with either group. When I discovered punk rock, I found an interesting no-man's-land between them. Punk rock was the great social diversifier in my high school. At first, only outcasts and unacceptable people liked it. Then everybody liked it because it was outrageous and subversive and transgressive - kids love that! The 'GQ pimps' liked it (I got a lot of sincere compliments on my clothes from them, but then I wasn't what is now referred to as a 'crusty punk'), the theater freaks liked it, the socialite/key club-types liked it, and even a few of the headbangers liked it - blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians, rich, poor, everybody liked at least one punk or new wave song because it was just, like, crazy, dude! It was about freedom. It was exhilirating while it lasted. Punk soon got taken over by a new breed of conformists and lost some of that initial diversity. I fear that golden era is all but forgotten now. I see kids these days sort of imitating the fashion, but they really don't get what it was all about.

Anyway, I think maybe if you seek out and keep company with social rule-breakers, you might be surprised at how much potential for community there is there.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

Tattooing and piercing are considered marks of beauty or even tribal identification in some cultures; it is mostly in the industrialized societies that it is considered 'savage.' While many adolescents have ignorantly appropriated body modification as just another fad designed to outrage their parents, some people, such as myself, have adopted it for spiritual purposes. In my case, as a link to the traditions of my ancestors, and as a rite of passage that was otherwise absent from my upbringing. I have a very good job, and my boss, who is relatively conservative and at a fairly high level on the social ladder, doesn't care that I have a tattoo. I also chose a design I felt a strong-enough affinity with that I knew I would be comfortable with it in my old age.

Beyond that, adolescents crave attention, negative or positive, and so far, body modification gets them what they want. They see their favorite movie stars and musicians with such markings, and want to emulate them in their quest to find themselves. Soon enough I believe even 'normal' people will have some sort of 'skin art,' even politicians, and that's when the kids will move on to something else. Meanwhile, the people who take it seriously will continue to express themselves in this manner, as they have for thousands of years.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

bad habits die hard. people tend to be chronically unclear about what they say and what they assume, especially regarding questions of history and geography and most of all about themselves. i mean, this is what wars are fought over. there's an ongoing and bitter argument about similar issues around the world, such as the chinese who believe that tibet is merely a part of china, the greeks who claim macedonia to be part of greece, etc. technically, canada is also part of america, yet we 'norteamericanos' can't help but think of them as different. it is hard, though, to say 'united statesian culture' when we think of what a lot of people call american culture...but i think there is such a thing as american culture, don't you? something about diversity, loving liberty, wanting to be free to live the way we want without people bothering us, etc. these traits are held in common in all of the places you describe, at least for the most part. i certainly am happy to recognize you as american if you prefer, or not to if you don't. one thing is for sure, we're neighbors.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

Jarrett, I think the short answer is 'yes,' but it goes deeper. White Americans are often fairly outspoken about racism when the venue is non-threatening, such as on the Internet or among themselves, but they don't often deal well with direct confrontation. Their talk happens in several ways: 1) 'I'm not a racist!' Or 2) 'You're damn right I'm a racist!' but not often enough, option 3): 'I try as best I can to uproot the racist attitudes I was taught that are reinforced by the constant subliminal and overt messages of our society. Good intentions are certainly easy enough for people who have the luxury of taking the weekends off from the issue and aren't confronted by it every day. All we can hope is that Anne Frank was right that all people are 'basically good at heart.'

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim]

It's not about what you think, so much as it is about what you do. I think if you actually asked your aunt out on a date, it would be a little strange. And it would probably be for the best if you didn't ever talk to her about your fantasies. I would imagine that transgressive fantasies are some of the most common. It turns us on to think of people we're 'not supposed to.' But I'll be damned if I tell my wife's best friend what I've been thinking about her, as it's simply not worth all the trouble it would cause.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim, Gender : M, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 36, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : poet, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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