[Jesse the K.]

Humans help one another, and that’s a wonderful thing. But every human is different, and people with disabilities are humans. There’s another option besides automatically helping or never helping: Ask. And then wait for the answer. ‘May I offer you a hand with that?’ is never an offensive question, as long as the asker is sincerely waiting on my answer. Some days I need help, some days I don’t. Some doors are easy, some are hard. Some days I can think clearly, some days I can’t remember what day it is.

Here’s an example of what not to do that I witnessed last month: My buddy, who uses a manual chair, was rolling out of the pool where we’d just been swimming. A woman came up behind her and said, ‘Want a push?’ and my buddy said, ‘No thanks, I’m fine.’ It didn’t matter – the woman had already started pushing my buddy. When the ‘no’ answer finally registered, the pusher offered this comment in the voice one uses with three-year-olds throwing a tantrum: ‘Well, I never! My brother was in a wheelchair and he never minded when I pushed him!’ That ‘pushy’ woman wanted to help so she could do her ‘good deed’ for the day, or perhaps to bring back the memory of her brother. It had nothing to do with my buddy, and that’s why she didn’t listen. So please, feel free to be wonderfully human and offer a hand, but also be wonderfully human and listen to whether your offer is needed that day by that person.

User Detail :  

Name : Jesse the K., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Disability : Wheelchair user, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Madison, State : WI, Country : United States, Occupation : civic activist, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 

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