[Harry21423]

First, go easy on him. I’m sure it took a lot for him to open up to you, and I don’t just mean alcohol. I wouldn’t dwell too much on his low sex drive. It may or may not be related. I expect he masturbates a lot, because the one person he can trust not to hurt him is himself. Don’t take that personally. It sounds like he really loves you. He would’ve run away ages ago without telling you if he didn’t. Sometimes even if his mind trusts you his body may associate sexual arousal with shame, pain and hurt, hence the loss of erection etc.

It sounds like he’s unsure himself about the fantasy side of things. He may genuinely wan’t these things but be unable to separate them from the abuse, or he may think he somehow instigated the abuse and therefore that he wanted it . I hope you don’t give up on him. It would just reinforce his feelings of guilt and lack of self worth. Try and work on making him feel more secure. If he knows without a doubt he can trust you, it will help him take the plunge and start to deal with the past. Therapy probably would help him, but it’s a huge step from talking about it to his closest partner when drunk and facing it with strangers when sober.

There are no quick fixes here, but there are small steps along the way. Meanwhile, don’t blame yourself for his behavior. He’s been badly damged, and it’s just a protective mechanism, not an indication of how he feels about you. Listen to how he says he feels about you; it’ll give you a truer picture.

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Name : Harry21423, Age : 24, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, 

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