[David]

As a gay man myself, this tends to be one of the questions I am most frequently asked by straight friends and colleagues – ‘When did you know?’ My stock reply is always ‘What about you? – When did you know that you were straight?’ As heterosexual children start to notice that the opposite sex is different and ‘interesting’ in a particularly sexual way, so gay and lesbian children notice their own gender to be ‘interesting’ in the same manner. I think too much can be read into the behavior of infants and young children who maybe don’t conform to stereotypical roles of boy/girl behavior. Sensitivity – and even effeminancy – in a grown man doesn’t neccessarily mean they are gay. I know a lot of very camp straight men! Equally, young ‘tomboy’ girls who climb trees and aren’t interested in dolls are not neccessarily lesbians in the making. Saying he wants to ‘marry his friend’ is a very innocent and, I think, sweet concept in the mind of a 5 year old. How can a 5 year old have any real understanding of marriage? His best friend is the pal he enjoys spending his quality time with, and I think you should be pleased for him that he has someone he so obviously truly loves as a friend, or maybe even a substitute brother (I’m not aware from your post as to whether he has any siblings). Back to the question though; There is no set age for realizing one’s sexuality – everyone matures at different speeds. For sure, being gay or lesbian is a case of nature, not nurture – and so whatever your reaction to him, it is unlikely to change whatever is pre-determined. The important thing is that you love him, and that he feels loved by you. Enjoy the thrills of parenthood and the pleasures he brings to you.

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Name : David, Gender : M, Age : 45, City : Preston, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, 

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