Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 15 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 6 months ago by
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It seems like every guy I go out with is just looking for a good time or a one-night thing. Why is it that it is so hard to find the whole package in a guy and get him to commit? Why do I feel like they are always looking for something better, when there is something great right there? Why can’t girls and guys be on the same page for once?
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Name : Melissa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Fresno, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think your biggest problem is your age, and the age of the boys you date. You are, after all, still a teenager. Boys your age are not known for their steady habits and settled ways, and never have been. If you date much older men, they are possibly going to be men who are not well-developed psychologically (or they’d be more interested in somewhat older women). Relax, shop around, and you’ll find somebody.
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Name : JerryS, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 52, City : New Britain, State : CT, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Honey, you answered yourself in the question: they are boys. They think something better is going to come along tomorrow or the next day. I know men, and I’m old, honey; they look for new stuff every day. Find one who adores you and can’t get enough of you. Believe me, he will be less trouble, unless of course he’s a stalker. You’re only 18, why do you want a commitment?
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Name : Valerie24503, Gender : F, City : Ft. Lauderdale, State : FL, Country : United States,There may be a couple of reasons for your problem. I notice you are only 18, and many men under about 21 consider this too young for a serious commitment (though some are ready). As you get older, you will find men more willing to have a long-term relationship, so be patient. Also, are you only willing to date good-looking guys? These men tend to be conceited and enjoy the attention of too many women to settle on just one, so you may have better luck with more average-looking guys who would appreciate your attention. Look for a really nice guy, regardless of his looks, who respects you and who makes you comfortable being yourself, and your luck may change. While some men indeed are jerks looking for only sex, there are plenty of great guys out there, so no woman should settle for less.
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Name : Doug25629, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 37, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Marketing Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,I have been with my girlfriend for almost two years, but I do have a few friends who are saying exactly what you are. For them the problem is the kind of guys they are attracted to. For some reason, that group of guys is very focused on getting laid and moving on. Maybe in a few years maturity will take over and they will begin acting differently.
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Name : Mike20391, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Rochester, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,How old are the guys you are dating? If they are under say 24 or 25, then they probably aren’t ready to settle down. Another question is, why are you looking for commitment at 18?
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Name : Lucy22402, Gender : F, Age : 28, City : San Jose, State : CA, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,It would seem to me that perhaps where you are looking may be the key. At the risk of sounding politically incorrect, you probably will not find the caring, settle-down type of family-oriented guy you’re seeking at the local bar, club or hang-out dive. Another key question is how you are looking. Do society’s ‘standards’ of what constitutes handsome play a factor when you look? Do you ignore those nice guys that society call ‘nerds’ or square, or who may not be male celebrity look-alikes, and pursue the jocks, regardless of behavior? Sometimes a simple shift in paradigm such as the type I have tried to lay out may prove helpful for you.
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Name : Me21879, Gender : F, City : Everycity, State : NA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,When I was 18, I told myself to wait until I was at least 25 in order to make sure I was ready to commit to a relationship. I met my wife through her roommate, whom I was dating. At first we became just great party friends and then over time we realized how much we had in common and how much we liked to be together. Next thing I knew I was asking for her hand in marriage. I was 26 when that happened. Just take your time and don’t rush things. Guys are a dime a dozen, and any woman can get a guy, but guys can’t afford to be picky. In the end, the woman will prevail. Hang in there and enjoy your young years first.
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Name : Ed25562, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Cheney, State : WA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,You answered your own question, boys are into sex, and having fun. Men when they find the right women will commit, but you must bring something to the plate. If you find a man that received a good Church upbringing, and moral values from his parents he will commit to you. Never start a relationship by given up to much milk, keep it moderate, and you will be in a commited relationship.
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Name : RICHARD, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Methodist, Age : 40, City : SPOKANE, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : MILITARY, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I really understand where you are coming from. I was there too, but after dating a bunch of guys that are looking for only one thing… you begin to realize that right now, you should be having fun. You should be finding yourself, having fun with your friends, and meeting new people. Believe me, the right person will come at the right time.
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Name : Ashley, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 19, City : Kansas City, State : KS, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,You are very misguided if you are looking for a boy to commit at age 18. He’d have to be a fool and you’d be better off focusing on how to look out for yourself, not looking for a dummy to lean on.
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Name : knancy, City : boston, State : MA, Country : United States,Keep in mind that guys aren’t telepathic. The fact that there are some females who would deceive in order to get a guy automatically casts suspicion on all females: how do I know *she* isn’t such a person? Even given honest information, there’s the problem I have: how do I know that this is optimal for me? Granted, I tend to overthink things. I have to ask, though: how did you get through 2 years of college at 18?
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Name : Michael20704, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : bi-curious (mostly straight), Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 20, City : Livingston, State : LA, Country : United States, Occupation : undergrad, Education level : 2 Years of College,They are looking for something better because before we hit 30 we’re rabid sex fiends. At 25 years old I met a woman – 48 who had it all but didn’t realize it until I was 30. Date until you’re 30 then get married but here’s a good tip – make sure he’s your freind and lover. If either one does not exist move on.
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Name : Andrew, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 47, City : Parker, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Information Technology, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I am not ready to ‘settle down’ so to speak, but I am not into one night stands either. I have pretty much put dating on the back burner completely. It seems that all the guys I meet now are interested in dating one woman, marrying her, and having a family. Maybe you just need to wait ten years or so.
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Name : Amy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 29, City : Seymour, State : TN, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,It’s easy to commit for me. I have a son and a loving girlfriend. The first day I met her I was hooked on her. It was never a one-night stand. A couple of months later I found out I was going to be a father, but even before that I was committed to staying with her. All of my past relationships failed because all my past girlfriends cheated on me. Even though I’m only 17, I feel I act like a 30-year-old. I mean, when my girlfriend finishes high school and college, we are getting married. That takes a lot of committment, and I think not all boys are scared of that.
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Name : dave, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Have ADHD, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 17, City : Higganum, State : CT, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,
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