Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 16 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 8 months ago by
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You have a touching post, but I just want to answer the last question. How does one know if a wheelchair-bound person, male or female, can have sex? I would suppose that depending on the injury or disease, some can and some can’t. To most men, while dating, the prospect of sex is important. The ones that say it isn’t are lying. It may not be the No.1 priority for simply asking someone out, but I would say that within a date or two the thought has crossed a guy’s mind. Short of wearing a sign saying ‘I am functional down there,’ how can this conversation occur without someone feeling awkward? Sorry for a reply that is more question than answer.
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Name : Steve27821, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 40, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Some men look for physically attractive women. Most men look for someone to love, someone who will love them, a woman of good character. A wheelchair will not attract a man, or a woman, for that matter. The character of a person is what will attract others. If you want to find someone who is loving, become a loving person yourself. You’ll most likely find Mr. Loving Lovable in places where loving people are liable to frequent.
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Name : Ronald-V29674, Gender : M, City : Edmonton, State : NA, Country : Canada,I am utterly frustrated. I am a 31-year-old attractive, successful woman who happens to use a wheelchair. Like any human being, I am capable of love and intimacy and want very much to share my life with someone. However, I have found that, in general, men are either afraid of or intimidated by me. Some even give me looks like ‘Yeah, right, I don’t think so.’ It is very hurtful to experience a barrage of rejection on a daily basis. I have many friends and am an actress and singer. Through all of my many exciting experiences, I have yet to meet someone to be with. Why is this a problem for men? Do you guys really think you would be looked at as pathetic if you dated a woman in a wheelchair? Do you honestly think a woman in a wheelchair is unable to have sex?
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Name : Maria-J-C22221, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : use wheelchair, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 31, City : Bridgewater, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I think people don’t actively pursue people with disabilities because of the perception of added responsibility. It would seem that you would have to put more ‘work’ into dating someone in a wheelchair than someone not in one. I don’t think whether you can have sex is a factor, or, for that matter, how attractive you are. It just seems like there’s more to it. I have never dated a woman in a wheelchair, but I can’t say that I wouldn’t. If she were a good woman, that makes all of the difference.
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Name : A.L. Murph, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Graphic Designer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The respondent who said sex was the issue was right, in my opinion. The one who said go to loving places is all wrong, in my opinion. Here’s a suggestion: Decide on a man in your circle of friends who you fancy. Tell him you want him to ask you on a date. In those words. If he refuses, he’s a jerk. (P.S.: I did ‘date’ a woman in a wheelchair.)
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Name : M.K., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 31, City : Sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Education level : Technical School,The problem is not unique to women in wheelchairs. I am a 46-year-old man with cerebral palsy in a wheelchair. Throughout my life, I have been treated like an alien when it comes to matters of the heart. I was lucky enough to find a woman who I thought would share her life with me, but apparently I wasn’t good enough for her. She was also in a wheelchair and left me after five years of marriage. Sad as it is, this society seems too caught up in physical perfection. If you don’t fit in (i.e, look like Brad Pitt or Rebecca Romajn-Stamos), then it seems you’re out of luck. One of the things that I’ve always heard is to have a positive outlook on yourself and the world about you. Concentrate on your inner self. You’ve got to love yourself before others will love you. Best of luck to you.
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Name : Kimball W., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : cerebral palsy, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 46, City : Lamesa, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : unemployed, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I think it is not the unattractiveness that causes your problems, but the fear of something very different. Men don’t know much about women in wheelchairs and fear the unknown. People already have problems dealing with the disabled because they’re unsure how to behave. Imagine how much more difficult it is to take the first step for him. So take the first step yourself; that will made it much easier for him. And show your female beauty. Sometimes I have the impression many disabled people don’t care much about their outer appearance, e.g. I’ve never seen a wheelchair driver in a short skirt. Be courageous, self-confident and sexy, and your only problem will be which dinner invitation to accept.
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Name : P., Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : E-Town, State : NA, Country : Germany, Occupation : Student,I am dating a woman in a wheelchair, and we have a great and normal relationship. Other than the fact that she is in a wheelchair, there is nothing different about our relationship. We have a great sex life, and yes, she is very able to have great sex; in fact, I think she enjoys it more than I do. So to all those people in wheelchairs who are afraid they won’t find anyone or that no one will want them, never fear. You will find someone. And to those who avoid people in chairs, shame on you. You might as well avoid people of different heights, or colors.
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Name : Michael20725, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 27, City : Denver, State : CO, Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,Personally, I am attracted to women in wheelchairs. There’s a whole wide world out there, so don’t be discouraged.I believe there is someone for everybody.
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Name : Stephen, Gender : M, City : Sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia,I am a woman in my thirties, attractive and successful, who is utterly frustrated, too. I am capable of love and intimacy, and want very much to share my life with someone. No, I do not use a wheelchair. Still, men seem either afraid of or intimidated by me. Understand my point here – that it may NOT be your disability that is getting in the way of connecting with that someone special. All sorts of women have the same frustrations you do in the arena of love. The wheelchair factor is unimportant, and will remain unimportant to the man who falls in love with you. Peace.
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Name : Marie22261, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 38, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Media, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class,I’d have to say yes, men are afraid of women in wheelchairs. And yes, we do think that maybe they aren’t capable of having sex. You have to admit that is a possibility, and as has already been mentioned, it’s hard to bring up that kind of question, even after a few dates.
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Name : Mark A., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Clinton Township, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Paramedic, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,Not all men are afraid of wheelchairs. To me, overcoming a disability and still being a happy person results in a more attractive girl.
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Name : Eduardo, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Christian, Age : 32, City : Mexico City, State : NA, Country : Mexico, Occupation : Managing director, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I understand you, and if you’re single, I may want to meet you. I’ve had a girlfriend who was in a wheelchair most of the time, so I’m already ‘broken in’ … and I learned there can be so much more than meets the eye.
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Name : Jay31291, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Upstate, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,People are afraid of rejection. A woman or man in a wheelchair may be attractive, but that doesn’t mean someone is going to ask for a date. Especially if one fears a strong rejection. And perhaps some people would fear being considered ‘sick’ for being attracted to a disabled person. Or that they might be accused of offering out of sympathy. It all becomes easier to just look elsewhere for a date.
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Name : Karl, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 44, City : Duesseldorf, State : NA, Country : Germany, Occupation : retired computer jock, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have seen some very attractive women in wheelchairs, and I have never made a move on them, even though I thought about it. There are so many women who are not in wheelchairs. I think you will have be the assertive one here, to let men know it is OK, and that you are still a woman. You’ll have to school people that a relationship with a person in a wheelchair does not amount to taking advantage of them. Also, sex is a very important of a relationship, and unfortunately, men think a disabled woman can’t perform. It takes a real strong man who can disregard the possible teasing and talking that other people will give him. That’s unfortunate because it will stop a lot of weaker men … even myself. I hate to admit it. I should be a bigger person than that, and really, I think I can be. Don’t give up. It is not you, it is just the way society views the disabled as helpless. We have a lot to learn. Thus, you have a lot to teach.
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Name : Tony, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 45, City : CINCINNATI, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : MANUF 'G, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
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