Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 9 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 7 months ago by
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For a long time I’ve wondered why some gay men act ‘camp.’ I would be interested to hear people’s views about why some gay guys display traits such as a lisp, floppy wrists and a very expressive personality. I don’t know any straight guys who behave like this, though there probably are some. I thought gay men might do it to show that they are gay or to set themselves apart from straight men. Can someone enlighten me?
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Name : David W., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 31, City : Upper Hutt, State : NA, Country : New Zealand, Occupation : Government adviser, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,One reason I come up with is that the lisping, the limp wrists and all are exaggerated signs borrowed from the female discourse. It doesn’t necessarily mean anyone portraying these signs wants to be a woman, but rather shows a preference to deal with issues in that discourse. Choice of discourse may restrict your freedom of speech; in baseball talk you only talk about baseball, hmmm? The signs you mentioned, but especially an effeminate voice, can help you become friends with women easier. Somehow it seems that even by faking it you can bypass the ‘a-hole-rejection system’ built in to some (most?) women. The reason a gay man acts camp is probably that they don’t feel any of the common male discourses give them anything worthwhile. Then you either borrow or invent your own discourse (subconsciously). Naturally it is easier to borrow, especially if some other discourses, like many of the female ones, have something to offer you.
However, simple choice of discourse is by far not enough to explain this all. One needs also the cultural aspect here. Because gay men are not, by their own choice and by the rejection of other men, part of the common male cultures and also not for the same reasons part of the female culutures, they need their own. A culture portrays its own common signs by which the subjects can identify themselves and others being a part of that culture. You can’t say the gay culture is between male and female cultures, but rather that it is its own culture that borrows what it needs from other cultures and then puts it to use in their own way, inventing a lot of their own material along the way.
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Name : Jarmo J., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 24, City : Tampere, State : NA, Country : Finland, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,There’s no single reason men act that way. Some gay men are definitely more effeminate than others and identify with women and their mannerisms – you might even recognize them when they are still children, acting more like little girls than little boys. I don’t believe they make a conscious choice to do this – they just feel more comfortable adopting the mannerisms of the women around them than they do with those of the men.
Some gay men who act effeminately are trying to prove a point. That point may be ‘I am different’ or ‘I have my own culture and don’t need yours’ or something like that. It may be defiant, or it may be just for fun, but they can turn it on or off at will, and it’s not their ‘natural’ state. Others act that way just to fit in with the gay people around them. It can be a common bond among gays, because it is an affection that no straight man would normally adopt. Especially in gay ‘ghettos,’ you’ll find ordinary (gay) men acting like that even when no one else is around just because they do it all day long. I think it is important for straight people to understand what gay people often eventually realize: there is nothing shameful in acting effeminately. In the straight world, men are supposed to act like men, and it is often a disgrace for a man to cry or show any womanly traits. Because of the coming out process, overcoming the internal shame of being a homosexual, many gays finally realize it is not shameful for a man to act like a woman – we’re all just people and can act any way we want as long as we don’t hurt anyone else. Maybe for some, acting effeminately is a manifestation of this realization – it’s no big deal.
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Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I think the answer to your question is actually in the body of your question itself: ‘expressive personality.’ And yes, straight men exhibit the same tendency; we just call it ‘macho.’ As far as the ‘camp’ goes, I would dare to venture that most gay men do not ‘camp’ it up on a daily basis. Usually such expressions are reserved for times when we can relax and not be on the defensive side of life. Also, for the most part, ‘camp’ is usually a way of laughing at ourselves and/or laughing at the stereotypes that straight folks attribute to us – which I might add are usually a bit far-fetched. ‘Camp’ may also serve as a defense mechanism; if we can get you (as a straight community) to laugh WITH us, then it is harder for you to attack us.
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Name : Steve C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : inter-racial, Religion : Baptist, Age : 41, City : Dallas, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : ministerial, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Reverse your question… Why do mascho men act like they have to prove something? Bar fights, foul language, ***** bashing (insert your own word), etc?
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Name : jim30740, Gender : M, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, City : margate, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,Apart from truly effeminate gay men, I would venture to say that most gay men don’t do camp on a daily basis. The reason that some gay men like to ‘camp it up’ in a social setting is really fairly plain. It’s no different than the reason that every person on a baseball team wears one kind of jersery, or the reason girlscouts wear those green dresses. Solidarity. People who are historically opressed tend to develop their own culture in lieu of the culture they are being excluded from. Camp is a way to laugh at yourself and at the same time feel like you belong to gay society group. I can’t do it unless I’m drinking… otherwise it seems too outside my experience and I would only feel like I was acting. Certainly camp isn’t for every gay man. I know gay men who are much more masculine that any straight man. So the rule isn’t universial. You’ve never seen anything as funny as a bunch of burly, hairy arm pitted, stache wearing construction workers doing drag. Camp is a toned down version of that.
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Name : Mike Hipp, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : I.T., Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,There are no ‘male’ or ‘female’ qualities, only ‘human’ qualities. According to a survey, from a list of 1,390 qualities, surveyors identified two thirds of the qualities as ‘male’ qualities and a third as ‘female.’ Why should men have more qualities than women? in order for men and women to be whole people, we need to stop identifying qualities as ‘male’ or ‘female’ such as you did when describing ‘camp’ behavior, and regard ALL behavior as human behavior, and not look down upon people (or children) who display qualities that society (such as those surveyed) regards as typical to one particular gender over another. Why should limp wrists, lisping and expressiveness be ‘feminine’ qualities in women and ‘campy’ qualities in men? Should they not simply be ‘human’ in all genders?
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Name : Humanist, City : Anywhere, State : PA, Country : United States,Hi- I am a female that knows a few gay guys. I think that some guys will act campy because they possibly relate/identify with women and therefore try to exude feminity. However, there are plenty of gay guys who don’t swing their hips and stuff. In general I think homosexuals are caring individuals. You might want to befriend one! Just because you are a guy doesn’t mean they want to hit on you. Hope this helps
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Name : JR21129, City : Lafayette, State : IN, Country : United States,The best response I’ve ever heard to this question was provided by a heterosexual comedian. Why do gay men act camp? Because it’s FUN! (This last bit should be shrieked with an outrageous wrist flick or some such thing.)
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Name : Brandon Burt, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Salt Lake City, State : UT, Country : United States, Occupation : Journalist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Some gay people have camp traits for no other reason than that is part of their identity. It is not something deliberate (and often they may not realise that they are being camp). Campness often increases after that person has come out but not always. It is like a lisp in a straight guy or the expressiveness of a straight guy. Also, not every gay man has such traits. If one in ten of the population is gay that would mean that one in ten is camp (which simply isn’t true). Finally, many straight men have camp characteristics but does not mean that they are secretly homosexual. It is simply part of human nature
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Name : Matt23916, City : Liverpool, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom,
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