Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 11 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 7 months ago by
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Why does it seem that when an African American walks by a Caucasian person, the Caucasian is required to speak first?
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Name : Rebecca B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unity School of Christianity, Age : 43, City : Memphis, State : TN, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It is so funny that you that you feel that way, because my friends and I feel quite the opposite. So many times we say hi to white people first, and the majority never respond. We are standup comics, and when we go around the country doing our shows, in the parking lot of the clubs beforehand, white people scurry away from us. But after the show they are our best friends. Why is that? I can’t speak for all black people, but after saying hello so many times to whites and not getting a response, eventually you say ‘to hell with it, I’m not speaking until they speak first.’
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Name : Cee Why, Gender : M, Religion : Secular Humanist, Age : 30, City : Hamden, State : CT, Country : United States, Occupation : Realist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,No one is required to speak to anyone. If you wish to greet someone, you simply greet them, and move on. Honestly, why are you making a racial issue of something as unimportant as who speaks first? You must be bored; tell your supervisor to give you some more work to do.
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Name : RhondaOutlaw, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 41, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Account Representative, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I almost fell out of my seat when I read this. As a native Southerner who has just relocated back to the South from San Diego, California, I implore you to visit ‘America’s Finest City’, San Diego, where you will find that NO ONE will speak to you first. Hell, they don’t even speak when spoken to! Speaking to strangers, even in passing, is a courtesy that’s important in the South but not everywhere in this country. I often felt slighted by the fact that I always said ‘Hi’ to people in San Diego in passing and they didn’t respond. This silence came from Blacks, Whites, Asians, Latinos, etc. I eventually figured out that that is just how it is in Southern California and that no harm was intended by their lack of a reply. By the way, my husband is white and he doesn’t speak to anyone on the street, which I find extremely rude. He’s also not from the South but from upstate New York and I think this has a lot to do with it!
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Name : Jane P., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 32, City : Raleigh, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Paralegal, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I speak to most passerby, whether they be black, white, brown or yellow. I was raised in the South, and taught that it was just good manners to acknowledge people you make eye contact with by saying hi, or offering a smile. I do not care what ethnic group they are from. Also , historically, many Blacks were not allowed to speak to Whites….if they did they would get verbally abused or worse, physically abused for doing so. Many Blacks may still carry that around with them, and may be hesitant to risk their dignity by doing so. When you are Black, it is common to try to distingish the ‘good white people’ (i.e., non-racist) from the ‘bad white people’ (i.e. the ones that will call you a nigger for looking at them wrong). It is a fine line, and because you do not experience it first hand, you may not be aware of the underlining fear involved in many Black/White relations in this country.
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Name : AmberW, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 23, City : Greenville, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I agree with a previous poster. 95% of the time, white people will not speak back to you or they will turn the other way. I just stopped speaking, unless I’m at the checkout counter or something. And then, they will have to speak first because I don’t know how they will react.
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Name : CocoaMinx31990, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 25, City : Savannah, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Amazingly enough, you are not REQUIRED to speak at all to a person you are simply walking by. I’d like to ask the question: Why do you feel obligated?
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Name : Stacey T., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 32, City : Conway, State : AR, Country : United States, Occupation : State Employee, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,Simple – it’s fear. Some whites are scared of blacks, some blacks are scared of whites. In both cases, if they can learn to stop being scared and like the other person as an individual, it goes away. Be proud – you’re getting the ability to see the difference you make. Those white people would still by ‘scurrying away’ from you at the end of the show if you hadn’t made a difference.
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Name : peche, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Chantilly, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : computer guy, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Every Black person I know has a story about meeting some white person on the street and that person refusing to speak to them although they work together every day or it was a business relationship. Now do you know why you have to speak first?
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Name : Gloria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 50ish, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Because too many of us who are naturally friendly have had the experience of speaking to whites and getting completely ignored. For me personally it happened 7 of 10 times. Better to avoid the rejection and ignore whites until the situations warrents a different response.
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Name : Cyndie, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 31, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States,I went to a private school where most of the students were white and rich and I found that instead of saying ‘hello’ to you they will just smile. i think that it is very ignorant and stuck-up of someone to do that because they think they are supperior or something.
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Name : Sounique, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Baltimore, State : MD, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Sad to say but I believe that a lot of it here in America is rooted in Jim Crow laws of the past. There was a time when a black person would be required to step off of the sidewalk when a white walked on the same sidewalk, to let them pass. I need not go into the whole restroom and water fountain issue. Also, blacks were spoken to by whites, not the other way around. There may also be the issue of a fear of many of my people of whites and wondering what in the hell is this guy going to do? If it is a white woman, a black male may not want to give the impression that he is hitting on her. When I remember the stories of my father and see how he still acts to this day, i see the scars of Jim Crow laws. Some of these ‘ways’ have been passed down to me. Both my father and I are college educated men. It’s sad but I try to fight acting a certain way out of fear or not understanding.
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Name : Steve, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 33, City : Omaha, State : NE, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
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