[Robert]

I am considered an intelligent and physically attractive guy with a good job, and I make female friends easily. We have a fun time going out, dancing, going to the beach, etc., but a number of women have told me I’m ‘too nice’ to date. I’ve heard this quite a few times. What do women mean by this, and how can I overcome it?

User Detail :  

Name : Robert, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Marketing Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Ann L. Lowenstein]

You’re running up against the fantasy of ‘taming the bad boy.’ You’re not a challenge because you don’t treat women like disposable accessories. I had a roommate who was approximately the biggest shit toward women I’ve ever seen, and he always had at least three he was ‘dating exclusively’ at any given time. Here’s a suggestion: try dating women a little older than you. The whole ‘older woman/younger man’ taboo has crumbled to some extent in recent years, and generally by the time a woman is in her mid-30s, she’s gotten past her need to ‘tame’ anyone, and is looking for an actual adult with whom to spend some quality time. One caveat: If the older woman in question dresses like a high-schooler or goes by a childish nickname ending in ‘I’, and further, dots that ‘I’ with a heart or a smiley-face, run screaming! (Yes, I have met a few of these sad cows).

User Detail :  

Name : Ann L. Lowenstein, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Doug]

I have the same problem as Robert but have not found a solution. Ann has a good idea, and I am definitely attracted to older women and have a couple as friends, but I’ve not found any 30-something women willing to date a guy 10-12 years their junior. It doesn’t help that while good-looking, I look maybe 21. My experience is that men behave like jerks because that’s what attracts women, but I don’t want to be one. Short of that, I’m open to any suggestions to attract a nice girl.

User Detail :  

Name : Doug, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Photographer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Tracey]

I don’t think it’s something to ‘overcome’ – maybe you haven’t met the right woman. Most women I know are like men: we want a challenge. That doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk, just don’t be available all the time – and have an opinion! Contrary to popular belief, we don’t want to run the show all the time. There’s a balance between being nice and being a little hard to get.

User Detail :  

Name : Tracey, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 32, City : Albany, State : NY, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Mike19585]

I think many women consider nice guys to be boring, so they drift toward guys who seem more bad and exciting.

User Detail :  

Name : Mike19585, Gender : M, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, 

[GH]

I sympathize, because a good,nice and wholesome guy is hard to find these days. However, you don’t present a challenge to most women. By that I mean women like to see if they can take advantage of men, and if you give in to their every whim and desire and don’t stand up to them, they tend to think they can run all over you. You become boring. I’m not saying don’t continue to be nice, but try being a little more firm.

User Detail :  

Name : GH, City : Greenville, State : MS, Country : United States, 

[Nadège]

There are plenty of women who would love to meet a gentleman. You might try looking at places other than beaches and clubs for dates though. Find something you’re passionate about that may attract a more mature crowd of women, and go from there.

User Detail :  

Name : Nadège, Gender : F, Age : 16, City : Peoria, State : AZ, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[GregN.]

In my experiences, I’ve notice that the women who say “You’re too nice” are the ones that haven’t fully matured and are still looking for the next fling with Mr. Dangerous. Just as Ann said, they want to tame the bad boy. Once they mature, they some of them will realize that the nice guys are the ones they want. Eventually, you should find the woman who says, “You’re so nice!” and means it as a sincere compliment.

User Detail :  

Name : GregN., Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 21, City : Omaha, State : NE, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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