Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 22 replies, 23 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 5 months ago by
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Shopping for Christmas gifts for an 8-year-old I could not help noticing the sudden and sharp differentiation between girls’ and boys’ toys starting at about this age group. I find it pathetic. All girls’ toys are ridiculously wrapped in pinkish stuff and center on mothering or dressing (dolls and accessories), or crafts of the pretty and cute kind (‘Jewels and gifts for your friends!’). Then, turning around the corner, you seem to enter a different world of brown, black, silver and plastic: boys’ corner! Here you get to build/buy monsters, dinos, spaceships and machines galore, or fiddle about with computers and game stations. Also, the challenging types of games are in the boys’ corner as well: inventions, experiments, programming. I’ve been in so many department stores and shopping centers and these impressions are uniform – and uniformly depressing. I know from several children that this differentiation does not at all conform to their interests. Girls love to experiment, invent, construct as well – and yet from a certain age they get discouraged from it because the outfit clearly is boyish and aims at boys only. My daughter’s school-friends all mope secretly for a Gameboy, yet they would not be seen dead with one at the same time. No matter how cute that Pikachu is, a Gameboy is a GameBOY. And why do boys in turn get discouraged from caring (like they do naturally for their teddybears) and encouraged instead to play games of endless and often mindless destruction/construction/destruction? I used to think we were beyond such ridiculous gender attributions in society, yet when I enter toy stores here they all are again. How are we to raise these children as mature, complex, multifaceted individuals when the role models we offer for their games are so ridiculously confined? I cannot believe this is all because of the industry banking on that which sells best. I am sure more differentiated toys and games would sell as well. Any thoughts?
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Name : T, Gender : F, Age : 32, City : Munich, State : NA, Country : Germany, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Why would your daughter and her friends not want to be seen with a Gameboy? I always thought that there were games available for girls. I am sure that they existed 10 to 12 years ago, when Gameboy first came out.
Anyway, I think there should be a gender separation in toys. Girls should learn how to be ladies while boys learn how to be gentlemen. There should be a strict hierarchy and distinct separation between the two, as our chromosomes are different. If girls want to play with boys’ toys, then they have serious problems, and should be fixed by sending them to a good protocol school. Ideally, I’d like to see young women wearing gloves in public and actually appreciating it when men are holding doors for them, etc.
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Name : CC19334, Age : 22, City : Somewhere in Canada, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I have tried to persuade my five-year-old daughter to look at boys’ toys, but she’s simply not interested; all she wants is toys in the line of Barbie and Tinkerbell.
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Name : Graeme21533, City : Johannesburg, State : NA, Country : South Africa,This is a great, but sad, observation. I think it is up to parents to overcome this. A few years ago my six-year-old son desparately wanted an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas. These are clearly marketed to girls. He is your basic ‘frog in pocket’ boy, but he is very interested in food in any form, and this was a way he could participate in making some. I have to be honest, I was against buying it for him because mainly I didn’t want him teased if his friends found out. However, my wife insisted. So we bought it and he is very happy with it and once a month it gets dusted off and he makes some God-awful-looking brownie or something on it. The up side is that now he is eight and has graduated to being able to make waffles for breakfast in our real kitchen on his own. So occasionally I get to wake up on a Saturday with breakfast already made.
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Name : Steve27870, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Corporate Slug, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,I know just what you mean about getting depressed when looking at all the pink vs. blue in stores. As a child, I would have loved some Legos but was told they were ‘boys’ toys. In my opinion (as a sociology student), the reason behind all these gender-specific toys is that these children are being socialized to accept the positions they are expected to fulfill in later life. When I say ‘gender’ instead of ‘sex,’ it is intentional. There is nothing inherently biological in the choices children make regarding toy preferences. It’s all a social construction that tries to dictate what people should act like, and this gets indoctrinated into the children at an early age. Girls get baby dolls while boys get trucks, and that sort of thing. There’s actually been research that says in some stores (such as Walmart) the female toys are actually placed closer to the housewares section of the store. There’s nothing wrong with children playing with toys that are ‘supposed’ to be for the opposite sex. If a little boy gets a toy airplane and gets to run around yelling with it, wouldn’t a young girl also love to get out her energy by running around, too? It really has nothing to do with sex, but it’s gender (a social construction) that determines the shame that is placed on children who want to play with toys geared toward the opposite gender.
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Name : Deborah, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Starkville, State : MS, Country : United States, Occupation : Grad student/researcher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Not everyone thinks the way your first respondent does. I’m approximately the same age, from a similar country, and I happen to like action films and spy novels and playing with Legos. Social conventions will allow a girl these freedoms. Anyone who is afraid to play with a Gameboy for fear it will label them has something wrong with their priorities. But kids want to fit in, and it’s only later in life that most people realize it isn’t necessary to fit a model. Get the kid what you think the kid will like, and let them grow. I know plenty of girls who grew up with Tetris and Super Mario Brothers, and it hasn’t done anything bad to them. I can’t answer why boys don’t play with dolls — if they are encouraged to play with girls, they play ‘house’ or variants just fine. Social conventions, like the draft being for men only, I guess.
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Name : MB, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I was raised a typical girly girl, constantly given Barbies and jewelry, but I was never really into that kind of stuff. My favorite Barbie was the mermaid one, due to my early interest in sci-fi/fantasy, which is still one of my favorite hobbies. I played with Legos, had a GameBoy at 8, and played with action figures (still do, hee hee). I even played ‘boyish’ sports like hockey. and I actually won a few Karate tournaments.
I was made fun of a lot when I was little – ‘Those are boys toys! You can’t play with those! You’re not supposed to!’ were familiar phrases. I was happy, though, and I think that’s all that mattered. When I was about 10, until I was about 13, I tried so hard to fit in, do girl things, hang out with girls and do the girly thing (not that I had only male friends, they were just the majority. We liked the same things, so why not?). It didn’t work. I got depressed and gave up doing all the things I loved. It was mainly because even at that age, I had classmates calling me gay just because of what I did and the things I liked, and I wasn’t too happy about that. Now I’m back to who I was, in a sense, and kind of reliving the childhood I almost missed out on, including rebuilding the comic book collection I had sold off.
I don’t think people should pay attention to marketing. Get the kid what they want, period.
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Name : Steph-K, Gender : F, Age : 16, City : Lyndhurst, State : NJ, Country : United States,Sure, the all-pink aisle, etc., is disgusting, but the companies that make these toys are doing it to make money, and there’s no way they release a new product without testing and focus-grouping every aspect of its design and packaging. If toys are still marketed this way, it’s at least partly because kids (and the adults who do the actual toy-buying) respond well to it. Children pick up and internalize stereotypes very early, and in a lot of ways are more conservative than adults.
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Name : Berit23371, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,I think it’s horrible that there is such segregation in toys. I come from a very traditional family; when I was younger, I always wanted the Gameboys and such, but my mother considered them to be for boys, so I was not allowed to have one. I think parents should buy their children whatever toy the child wants, regardless of gender stereotype. Gender shouldn’t be an issue in toys; I think that the majority of the issue is in traditional marketing. The same issue even comes into play in the types of pets children have. Animals like dogs and cats are universal, but it seems that only boys become interested in lizards and snakes, while girls like rabbits and birds. It is the same with larger animals: girls tend to become interested in horses, while boys (unless participating in Western sports like roping) are told that horseback riding is for girls.
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Name : L. Castle, Gender : F, Age : 18, City : Shepherdstown, State : WV, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I was shocked the last time I walked into a Disney Store. Disney was marketing certain movies, like ‘Cinderella’ and ‘Beauty and the Beast,’ under the Princess Collection. Half the store was pink-washed and obviously meant for the girls. This unfortunately may give young girls a bad message: ‘These are the movies and toys and clothes for you, but these ones over, they’re NOT for you.’ This also works both ways: what should prevent a little boy from liking ‘Snow White’? Then again, what boy would want to be in the ‘pink’ part of the store? Anytime a barrier, even if it is small and may seem stupid and insignificant, is set up telling kids what they should and should not like, I think this is horrible. I was raised on both Barbie and Transformers, the CareBears and Legos. I rarely saw that something was for boys and something was for girls (besides Barbies, which I knew who they were ‘meant’ for right away). This might explain where I’m coming from a little more.
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Name : Mary-T, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 21, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Student/Accountant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,You couldn’t be more-on-the-mark, especially about the Gameboy comment. Why do they call it a GameBOY? (or a Sony WalkMAN?, don’t women use them, too?) I’ve seen news stories about how game programmers are trying to use Barbie in computer games to get women interested in technology. Well, why wouldn’t women be interested in technology? I think it’s that women aren’t interested in using technology in the same way men do. But the best ‘girls’ games that designers can come up with seem to be putting Barbie in some sort of action game. So here’s the question: Not ‘how do we get women interested in technology?’ but ‘what kinds of things do women want to do with their technology?’ Besides just wrapping the same old boys toys in pink plastic and bows…
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Name : Lain, Gender : M, Age : 23, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class,To C.C, who says that ‘If girls want to play with boys’ toys, then they have serious problems, and should be fixed by sending them to a good protocol school.’ – I played with so-called ‘boy’ toys, and there is nothing wrong with me. If little girls want to play with Hot Wheels and Tonka Trucks and little boys want to play with Barbie dolls, there is NOTHING wrong with that. You, obviously, are the one with the problem — not the little girls. And to T.: I got the original Game Boy when it first came out (the vice principal at my elementary school told my mom it would help with hand-eye coordination), and now at 23, I’m a relatively normal adult. Just because it’s called Game Boy doesn’t mean it’s only for boys. If your daughter wants one, get her one.
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Name : Christina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 23, City : Chesapeake, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am the mother of three children; two girls and one boy. All of my children are given the same opportunities, no matter their sex. I am shamefully aware of the diversity in toys that you speak of. I go shopping for any of my children and see this separation all to clearly. I agree it should not matter. Girls can be and are just as capable as boys in inventing, constructing, etc. Personally, my husband owns a construction business and we can picture our 8 year old daughter helping with the manual labor when she gets older. That is just the kind of child she is. Notice, I said child. Not gilr. Our son is interested but has stronger interest in the computer/book part of the business. It does not matter what gender the child is. What matters is any and all attempt to strengthen what strengths a child has. No matter what it is..books, working with their hands, etc. As a parent it is important to recognize these and encourage, encourage, encourage. The toy industry has no right to shove these toys down a child’s throat. And as consumers we have all the rights to purchase what we want, not what they feel is appropriate for a specific gender. Don’t get me wrong I would not buy my son a Barbie. But I would and have bought my girls gameBOYS. They ALL have one and several games to go with them. Games that are appropriate for their individual skills, not gender. Basically, it is a parent’s responsibility to know what is right for their child. Each child is different. As is every toy.
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Name : Michelle20570, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : Flint, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have wondered this myself, many times. I was buying my friend a gift for her baby shower this past weekend. They’re expecting a boy, and had registered for a tool set. And I thought to myself that if/when I have children, no matter which gender, I would want my children to have tool sets if they enjoyed them, because I’m an engineer and grew up playing with Lincoln Logs, Erector sets, cars and Legos, in addition to Barbies. I think the solution to your questions is for consumers to buy products that they think their children will like, regardless of the package or stereotype, or what their kids’ friends are receiving. I remember, as a child, there was a lot of pressure to watch the same TV shows as my friends, even if I didn’t like them, and be interested in the same games and toys. What gave me strength was that my father always encouraged me to be true to myself and march to the beat of my own drummer. I’ve had a lot of pressure all my life to “be like the other girls” even from my mother, who told me that women didn’t go into Engineering and people always assume that I like shopping and wearing fancy clothes, when my interests have always been in cars and engines. I believe that parents and friends should encourage their children to play with what they’re interested in. And if they’re picked on for it, to have self-confidence, and not get defensive, but to just laugh it off and say that you know what’s best for you, no one else does. Once the manufacturers realize that they shouldn’t pigeon-hole kids’ interests, they will come up with less assumptive marketing strategies.
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Name : Christine S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Denver, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I know, the whole thing is ridiculous. I always hated dolls when I was a little kid, and still do, but they were the main toys I got. They were useless, but my parents didn’t understand. I hated anything pink and I hated anything that required pretending. So I didn’t play with my brothers’ G.I. Joe and He-Man toys, either. But they had to share all their Lego blocks and Brio trains with me. So now I am of the belief that parents should buy children gender-neutral toys and clothes until they are old enough to decide they like certain ones (2 or 3 maybe). At that point, parents should buy the children whatever type of toys and clothes they like best (within reason, i.e. nothing dangerous and include educational stuff). I think this practice should make for the best results of happiness and intelligence and maturity.
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Name : Greta, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : undefined, Race : unknown, Age : 27, City : Olmsted Falls, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : graphic designer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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