Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 13 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 2 months ago by
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I have lived in Toronto all my life. I have traveled to some cities in the United States and once to Bueanos Aires. I find this city to be very cold, especially when it comes to meeting women. The people here are so immersed in their bubble that they think this is the way everywhere. I see fear in people’s eyes. I have to say that this is the most dysfunctional city on the planet. Move here for six months and you will see. I used to think it was me, but I have talked to a lot of people (more than 100) and been vindicated many times. Toronto is a place where the women walk around like they are special, but when you talk to them, nothing is there. Even the ones who are not attractive compared to others walk around like they are queens. Give me a break. It is so hard to meet women here that you have to be an asshole to survive. I’m telling you, I am not making this up. The problem is that if you talk about it, you come across as some whiney loser. I’ve had three girlfriends, and I tell you I don’t know how I met them. Blind luck. I would so dearly like to get my revenge on this bloody city and its dead-like inhabitants. My question is, are most North American women like this? Are you all cold, calculating, money-grubbing narcissists? I know what you are going to say. The usual. But this lonely existence has pushed me so far that I am forced to debase myself and come here for answers. I am an average/good-looking guy who is a substitute teacher. But the coldness here is so great, I defy anyone (especially male) to come here and tell me a colder place.
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Name : Taylor, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : English/Spanish, Age : 30, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : High School Diploma,Don’t spend so much time on Bay/Bloor or the ghetto!
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Name : Kate26606, Gender : F, Age : 22, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,You are right … women in Toronto (and the city in general) are as ‘cold’ as it gets. When you were out of the country, you missed the memo about Toronto being the center of the universe. Somehow people in Toronto have got it in their head that if you don’t wake up at 4 a.m. to have a two-hour commute to work and stress yourself out at a job that lasts 18 hours a day with an impending heart attack, you are not as civilized as them. My answer? Come to Halifax. The people here (especially the women) are a lot more friendly than those in Toronto. The cost of living is way cheaper, and we have some of the best careers just east of Montreal (gas, oil, medical, bio-science, engineering). There are more universities in Halifax than any other city in Canada. Other parts of the country say that ‘Halifax moves so slow.’ My response is that we don’t move slow, we are just more efficient, and therefore aren’t scrambling to get things done. I’ll tell you one thing, of all the people I’ve known/met who have moved to Toronto, eventually they move back to where they came from, but the people who have moved to Halifax are still here. Food for thought.
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Name : MurrayC, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 33, City : Halifax, Nova Scotia, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Draftsman, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class,Taylor, it sounds as though you are not happy where you are at. Perhaps, it’s time to take six months off work to find another city that’s right for you.
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Name : Christopher D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 24, City : Dallas, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Customer Service, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,In defence of all Toronto women: the 2.3 million Torontonian women of all cultures, races and ethnicities can’t all be as cold as you believe. Toronto is one of the most diverse cities in the world, but remember that it is a very big city, and most big cities regardless of where they are tend to be busy and ‘cold’. (Ever been to New York? London? Tokyo?) So, please don’t generalize about ‘Toronto women’ – if this is your attitude towards them, I am not surprised that you get a ‘cold’ response back.
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Name : Doug25639, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Toronto, State : NA, Country : Canada, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,Oh believe me my friend, it’s even worse out here in ever-so-pretentious USA. People are clouded with the idea that if you don’t drive the latest car, dress in those redundant boring mall clothes, work for a corporate giant, have a frown while you drive, flash credit cards; you are just not ‘cool’ or worthy enough to be talked to. Contemproray American culture (I would imagine Canadian too) is so glued to this TV nonsense that it even tries to emulate all those images it spews at them. And these are way too unreal for folks living in a real world. And that generates stress, fear, dysfunctionalities, depression, isolation, etc., all of which are unhealthy. Sad part is that the folks don’t even realize that they are victims of this drama. I have interacted with Canadian women and found them to be much better informed, aware and emotional compared to these money minded petty American women who think they are the queens of this earth. As far as if North American women are cold and calculating, I must confess that I am tempted to say YES! European women (especially French, Spanish, Italian) are much more approachable, freindlier and connect very well. I don’t know about Canada, but the US for sure has lost all its civility and humanity, and is fast becoming a nation of self-obssessed crazy zombies. Thank God the rotten American influence is minimal in Europe where a more collective value system exists.
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Name : Jazz, Gender : M, Race : Asian, Age : 30, City : Richmond, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Marketing Manager, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,Well kate, can you recommend anywhere?
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Name : Taylor, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : I care to much, Race : English/Spanish, Religion : Synchronicity, Age : 30, City : Toronto, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I lived in Toronto years ago. In my opinion, meeting people on the street will not elicit much warmth. Small communities within Toronto are the way to go. I used to live at Bloor and Runnymede, and visited this place four years ago after many years’ absence. I found that some people were very warm and welcoming. But I know that in other areas people can have expressions as cold as the arctic.
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Name : Ronald-V29465, Gender : M, City : Edmonton, Alberta, State : NA, Country : Canada,You should move to California. We always need more teachers here, and you can find all sorts of women, white, Mexican, black, Asian, mixes, snobby, sweet, rich, poor. You should definitely come here. Besides, isn’t Toronto a drag with the weather? I mean, doesn’t it get like super cold? Here it’s usually always sunny.
If you don’t want to come to California, that’s cool, too. But I’m not sure what other advice to offer. I mean, it sounds like you’re having a pretty crappy time there, so why stay?
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Name : Natalie M., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Christian, Age : 16, City : Highland, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I’ve lived just outside Toronto most of my life and currently work in the downtown core. I find that people can be hard to approach at times and maybe even mean, but you have to keep an open mind. Not all Toronto women are cold, calculating, money-grubbing narcissists; most just have a lot on their minds, as everyone does everyone else. A friend of mine always asks me how a person can be so nice to total strangers, and to be honest, it’s just the way one sees the world. Not everyone is bad or has a plan to hurt others.
Just remember, if you treat people (women) as if they are mean, cold-blooded creatures, they most likely will behave accordingly, and mold themselves into that image.
All I can say is be patient and be nice, no matter how much it kills you inside. There are special girls out there, and they just want a special guy who takes the time to understand them. And please, do some of the women in Toronto a favor and not generalize unless you’ve talked to each of us.
P.S.: A smile never hurts anyone – you’d be surprised how many women will respond.
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Name : Mandana, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Persian, Age : 21, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think maybe youve just been checking out the wrong areas, my friend!! i live in kitchener-1 hr away-and must let you know that although we are farther up north than you,we are still pretty warm-and often many times are quite hot!!(blooded-lol)….. I agree with other peoples comments on how your attitude and how you present yourself (both pyschically and emotional) is why sometimes you might -more often than not-get negative feedback.. And alot of woman out there find it hard to trust men in general, perhaps b/c of past experiences-we havent written you totally off, we just need to know youre not a stalker/player/etc; perhaps men and women alike fall into being stereotypical…. Myself, i happen to be very friendly and easygoing with men in general (notice i said easygoing and not EASY),and have found alot of interesting guys out there… dont give up on us ontarian women yet!!!
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Name : dannielle, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : bicurious/straight, Race : dutch/spanish/caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 28, City : kitchener, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : photo lab technician, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I live 1/2 hr north of Toronto in a town of 40,000. My first trip to T.O. was 4 years ago to St. Michael’s hospital (M.S. clinic) When leaving the subway, I was so disoriented. To my surprise I didn’t even have to ask for directions-2 people saw my bewildered expression and inquired about my destination. I have met MANY friendly people in T.O. from ALL walks of life, race, religion and gender. I frequent a many clubs there and have encountered MANY friendly women. To say we are all ‘cold, calculating, money-grubbing narcissists’ is a very cruel generalization and a bad attitude…and perhaps the reason you haven’t met anyone.
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Name : Natalie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Deist, Age : 32, City : Toronto, State : NA, Country : Canada, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I’ve lived in toronto for years. I usually meet all of my girlfriends outside the city. its like beating your head against a wall in toronto. The women ( and most men ) are rude, unfriendly, anti-american, and think their stuff doesn’t stink. they couldn’t be further from the truth, and I live here. I love meeting girls in the U.S. they are sooo much friendlier, and open. I always meet someone nice in the states. remember, anywhere but toronto. the further away, the friendlier they become.
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Name : dave johnson, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 28, City : Toronto, State : OH, Country : Canada, Occupation : computer analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Are you kidding me man? You have it all wrong buddy, I live in California and the women on here are the biggest bitches on earth!! I’ve been to Toronto many, many times (my brother lives there and my girlfriend is from there) and you are flat out wrong. I have an easier time meeting women up there then back home. What about New York women? They are even colder than California women, however, I will give it to them, they are stright up about it. Have you even gone overseas, try French women! I love them, but they are a hard sell. California women are friendly, yes, but they all have motives (usually money) and I find them to be very shallow. I find women from Toronto to be more intelligent and down to earth (and very attractive, must be from all the interracial mixing, or something). The women in Toronto may not always be responsive because they are more skeptical, yes. Being cautious doesn’t make you a bitch. When a man approaches a woman off the street then it automatically sends a message to her that you only care about her looks, which at this point is true. A smart woman would more likely be cautious in such a situation, and may not reveal herself in such a situation. If you want the type of women who would go home with you from a cheesy line, then by all means, go south, if you want substance then maybe you should change your approach to women. I have a Toronto girl, and shes great. Her friends are great, her mother and sister are great. Its always easier to blame others for our own miscomings, and thats how prejudice starts. You should be proud of your hometown. Its amazing how spoiled North Americans are and how they take things for granted. You live in a clean, attractive city with great architecture, with all the conveniences we have, great music and culture, you have a higher standard of living than us, better health care and social programs, i see more intermingling of cultures and races there, you don’t realize how good you have it. I would move up there myself, but I have a very lucrative career here in San Diego. The answer to life’s problems is usually within yourself. Keep this in mind too, most people tend to hang out with people with similar personalities and outlooks. Therefore, surveying you buddies will likely get similar responses. I’ve seen many gorgeous girls in Toronto walking around with guys who wouldn’t be able to do that here. Keep an eye outfor that and ask yourself why.
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Name : Toronto-Women-are-Amazing, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : Toronto, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Executive, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,
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