Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 14 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 21 years, 11 months ago by
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Can someone please tell me why the French have such reputations for being rude? I have not been to France, but the French people I’ve met here in the United States are anything but rude – though they are indeed very different from Americans. To me, rude is like the people at the shopping mall the week before Christmas!
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Name : Terri, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 33, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I’m not French but grew up in France, and I can tell you one thing, even though French people are not my favorite, they are not rude. You’ll find rude people everywhere. I think the reason the French are said to be rude is more the consequence of cultural differences than anything else.
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Name : Fabrice, Gender : M, Religion : Catholic, Age : 19, City : Dayton, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : College Student,I went to France this summer with some friends, many of whom didn’t speak French. I and two others do. I found the French to be quite hospitable, but my friends who didn’t speak French said they found the French very rude. I asked them why, and they said that for one, the French would ‘ignore’ them or be much slower to respond or react once it was realized they didn’t speak French. They said that since I spoke French they must not have had any or not as much animosity toward me.
But to me, if you go to someone else’s country, it’s polite to learn customs and some of the language before you go, as a matter of respect. Whereas we in the United States sometimes find it annoying when we see tourists running around speaking some language we don’t know, in France they probably are able to act on those feelings, which we keep to ourselves.
That said, I did find that the French sometimes do have a superiority complex, thinking that theirs, whatever it is, is the best. But I let that go because I found that indeed many things they felt strongly about were better. I loved their food and fashion and perfume, all of which I found to be better than other countries’. Many Americans at times probably resent this because, well, we are good at a lot of stuff, and, well, I still feel this is the best place in the world to live. Their superiority complex bothers us more because we are taught from the cradle that ideally, everyone is equal, and it is effort that distinguishes us from each other. When people come in with preconceived notions, it seems very rude to us.
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Name : Sarah28407, Gender : F, City : Richmond, State : VA, Country : United States,I think that the attitude of a lot of Northern French people can come across as being rude, in a similar way to the apparent rudeness of Southern English people. I don’t think this is really a reflection of their personality, just that they have different ways of interacting with each other. To them it is abnormal to act in a more smiling, happy manner, which can look stupid and uncool to them. I think the French people you have met in the United States are likely to have a more international way of interacting with people or are from a different area in France.
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Name : Beth, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 24, City : Edinburgh, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Post Graduate Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have read in history of a Frenchman named Chauvin, who in a fit of nationalism proclaimed French people and products to be better than any others in the world. I believe his name is where the term “chauvinism” originated – male, or in his case, French.
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Name : Armand F., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 47, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : waste hauler, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think people from other countries sometimes come across as rude because of the way they speak. For instance, people in the Deep South come across as lazy because they speak slowly; likewise, French is a very fast-paced language. Fair or not, people judge each other by their words all the time.
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Name : Michelle20552, Gender : F, City : Canton, State : NY, Country : United States,A very sociable French friend of mine had a much more pragmatic explanation of why the French have an undeserved reputation for rudeness. He said most people get their view of French people from visiting Paris – the most visited city in the world, with tens of millions of visitors per year. Most Parisans have had more than their daily fill of rude tourists who act like they own the town, and act as though the locals have nothing better to do than to stop and give directions 15 times on their way to lunch. And how fair would it be to call all Americans rude based on the behavior of New Yorkers – in America’s most visited city?
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Name : Lorin May, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Mormon, Age : 31, City : Roy, State : UT, Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am an American who lived in Paris the last four years. I found that the French are just from a different culture, one that allows for such things as pushing and shoving. We Americans tend to feel the French single us out to do this. Most French people do not care if you are French or not. I have found that most French people feel very insulted when Americans travel and expect everyone to speak English. But in general they are quite polite and willing to get involved when someone may need help. Overall, if one should travel to France, we Americans need to remember that we are in a foreign country, and just enjoy the cultural differences.
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Name : Amber, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Arab, Religion : Muslim, Age : 30, City : Cork, State : NA, Country : Ireland, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,My wife and I visited Normandy and Paris in 1996. Before we left, I took a night course and worked really hard to have at least a modicum of the French language under my belt. Of course, I also took a traveler’s phrase book.
We had a uniformly good experience with all the French folks we ran across, and no bad experiences at all. My French wasn’t – and isn’t – very good, but I think the French appreciated that I was trying so hard to honor their language and culture.
Most travelers spend most of their time in France in Paris. Any big city will have rude characters in it; have you never been treated rudely in New York City? If you go to France, help yourself have a richer experience by learning the language, and try getting out into the countryside as well.
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Name : JV, Gender : M, Age : 40, City : Littleton, State : CO, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I too had heard this rumor many times. For whatever reason, the French (Parisians in particular) have gotten a bad rap. In planning our first European vacation, I had no desire to visit Paris. We ended up deciding to go to Munich, Prague and Vienna, and the cheapest flight turned out to be on Air France. Go figure. But since we had a layover in Paris anyway, we decided to stay for two days. Those two days were an eye-opener. Paris is a magical city, and only having two days is ludicrous. Every encounter, and I mean every encounter, was pleasant. My French is awful – I spent maybe a week doing Berlitz tapes for French, German and Czech. But what French I knew really came in handy. I think they really do appreciate the attempt, and seemed very forgiving of the lingustic atrocities I must have committed.
As an aside, on that trip I was appalled to see how many Americans behave abroad. Once at a train station in rural Austria, I saw one of my lovely countrymen walk up to the window and speak in an insanely loud voice, in English, demanding tickets on the next train. The service he received was curt, but hey, if someone came up to me at work and shouted at me in German, I probably would not be Mr. Polite, either. I have since had the good fortune to visit Europe for or five times, and I’ve found that in general you find what you’re looking for. By that I mean, if you go with a good attitude, and make an attempt to know something of the language, history, etc., before you go, people will respond positively to that.
By the way, I should add that over the next several trips I’ve spent a total of maybe two weeks in Paris, and it’s become my favorite European city. I’m glad that first trip got routed through Paris after all. In fact, I can’t imagine that I almost skipped Paris based on prejudice.
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Name : Dave25989, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : San Diego, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I am french, married to an american, in the U.S. for 3 years. About the french superiority complex, you are right, fench rudeness?, also…After much pondering of the question I came to a conclusion concerning the incessant french/american ‘clashes’: I believe that in essence we can not stand each other because eventhough we are very different in terms of cultural forms, french and americans are the SAME in terms of national psyche: they both have a somewhat hypertrophied national ego, they both have a tendancy to believe that nothing worthwile happens beyond their borders, they are both fairly self-satisfied, self-centered if not self-absorbed, they both have a more or less justified propension to consider that they are ‘All That’…. I find here in the U.S. every collective psychological features which used to get on my nerves when I was in France…And what happens when you put 2 people with the same defects in the same room? Soon enough, they are biting each other’s heads…
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Name : Vincent Durbin, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian Scientist, Age : 36, City : Santa Barbara, State : DC, Country : United States, Occupation : Front desk clerk, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,VERY TRUE! I am french and I can tell you that parisian people do not necesserily have the best reputation in France for courteousness. Personnally I was dreading having to drive in Paris because drivers are so impatient and agressive. I can’t exactly say I had the time of my life with parisians met in the street either…
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Name : Vincent Durbin, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian Scientist, Age : 36, City : Santa Barbara, State : DC, Country : United States, Occupation : Front desk clerk, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I was in France my senior year of high school (1986). I had taken four years of French and spoke the language very well. I had NO problems with anybody there being rude. I believe French people are very much like Americans in that we both believe that our culture, our way of life and our language are the best. Unfortunately, in the United States, many of us are offended and downright angry when people are here not speaking English. The French could possibly be the same way. Not everybody in the world speaks English, and the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around America, even though we sometimes think so.
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Name : Charlotte32287, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 31, City : Charlotte, State : NC, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It’s good to see that one of the most pervasive stereotypes in the English-speaking world (rude French people) is being refuted. I think that’s a great thing. Still, I have met many French people: young, old, in the United States, the Middle East, Italy and France. Each one was a supreme jerk-off. Maybe I just attract rotten French people.
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Name : Todd B, Gender : M, Age : 30, City : Jersey City, State : NJ, Country : United States,I have been to Paris several times, and I agree that if you try to speak even a little bit of French to them, they appreciate your attempt to experience their culture. However, look at it from their perspective: If you had to live, every single day, with thousands of tourists bumping into you, crowding your stores and subways, some absolutely refusing to speak the language and demanding that the French speak English, you might not be very tolerant, either.
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Name : Mary22176, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, Education level : 4 Years of College,
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