Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 23 years, 2 months ago by
.
- Posts
Why do some people who maintain they are ‘completely’ gay date people who have the same characteristics as the opposite sex? If I were a lesbian, I would want a woman with feminine characteristics, not a woman who looks like a man. I asked a friend, and she could not answer, but she says she would never date a man – even though her girlfriend looks just like one. What’s up with that?
User Detail :
Name : Christine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 19, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Gender identity and sex are not necessarily the same thing. Often women and men feel like they have both feminine and masculine energy. There is also more to sexual orientation and attraction than what is on the surface. Lesbians in general do not want to be men. I can only speak from my own experience as a lesbian on these matters. There is something about being attracted to and dating women that feels incredibly natural. I have been attracted to women who fall on several different spots on the masculine to feminine continuum. I was involved with men exclusively up until my early 20s and was attracted to most of them. In retrospect, I think there was always something missing for me with my relationships with men. It is difficult to put into words because it may be hard to imagine that being attracted to women (physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, etc.) feels like the most natural thing in the world.
User Detail :
Name : Maggy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, City : Cincinnati, State : OH, Country : United States,I feel that when someone dates, they go by their attraction to another as per their orientation. Whether a gay man finds the most effeminate man attractive or not is not the point. The point with anyone is the ‘equipment’ or physical form they seek, which for a gay guy pretty much eliminates all females – or males in the case of lesbians. Then comes the ‘type’ of person he/she finds attractive. I don’t think any of us fall in love with the physical aspects of another within our orientation standards, but the heart, soul and mind of that person. But more to the point of your post: From an early age we are taught that ‘straight’ is how we should view the world. I would think that for many gays and lesbians, that notion has transferred to finding someone (even though the same sex) who meets those qualifications. For a guy, it is the ‘feminine,’ and for a woman, it is the ‘macho.’ Could it be that those impressions are transferred to the same sex, and some look for those qualities in a partner? But, it shouldn’t matter as long as the couple is happy.
User Detail :
Name : Bo, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Shreveport, State : LA, Country : United States, Occupation : Cattle, Rental Property, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,There is a connection that women have with each other. It doesn’t matter what they look like. Women have more in common, and some feel they can exist on the same level with each other in a relationship. All the stereotypes associated with men are thrown out the door. A relationship can be what you make it, and not what society dictates.
User Detail :
Name : Coop, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : Black/African American, Age : 36, City : Phoenix, State : AZ, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Called Butch. It’s a whole identity, but it has nothing to do with wanting to ‘be’ a man. Men are where the power and status are. Looking like a man is a way to emulate that power, to allow yourself to feel that confidence that you know you have. That, and pants are just more comfortable than dresses. Some lesbians do like feminine-looking women, they’re just harder to spot. Your friend’s girlfriend could also be transgender, in which case she *could* in fact want to be male. S/he could be at that point straight or gay, it’s a different dynamic.
User Detail :
Name : Kerry, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 32, City : Ventura, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Stagehand, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Well, Christine, I am one of the ‘feminine’ lesbians who is attracted to the more ‘masculine’ or butch women. I guess part of it might be that it brings some diversity and balance to the relationship. Maybe it is something similar as in straight couples where there is an attraction in the physical differences of the people involved (even though attire and some characteristics are not exactly physical).
User Detail :
Name : Denise R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Questions, Age : 41, City : Lawton, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.