[Laura26063]

What an excellent question. As the parents of two boys, 15 and 11, my husband and I try to instill in them an open, tolerant view of the world. The first and most obvious way to teach tolerance to children is to be tolerant yourself. Watch what you say, even in joking. The negative use of language is the first step in turning people into the ‘other.’ Kids don’t always realize the implications of calling someone names; it’s up to you to make those implications clear. The second thing is to widen your own friendships and experiences. How can you expect your children to be tolerant and respectful of other people’s differences when the only people they meet are just like them? Introduce them to a wide range of people. This not only enriches their lives, it makes the issue more personal – after all, a racial insult or slur takes on a special significance when you’re talking about a close friend. And having friends of different backgrounds helps them recognize that the way we are alike is more important than our racial and ethnic differences. Finally, talk to them about the racism, sexism and homophobia around them, the same way you’d talk to them about drugs, smoking and drinking. You give them the tools to make the right choices. I knew my husband and I had done a good job with our children when my older son was about nine. He kept talking and talking about his new friend at school, Joseph. Joseph was funny, he was cool, he was really good at baseball, he had a baby sister, he was his new best friend. When I finally met Joseph, guess what? He was black. My son never mentioned it because it wasn’t an issue for him. Joseph wasn’t his black friend; he was his friend. More recently, another friend of his was visiting and used the word ‘gay’ as a perjorative. My son poked him in the arm and told him, ‘Hey, don’t say that.’ So what you say and do as a parent is indeed more powerful than all the negative images kids are exposed to.

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Name : Laura26063, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 39, City : Bel Air, State : MD, Country : United States, Occupation : teacher/writer/editor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Beth-B]

To parents: What is the best way to raise children to be tolerant of people’s differences? People say children are born without prejudices, but they do seem to pick out/pick on children who are different from them. How do you prevent this from turning into racism, sexism, homophobia, etc., when there are so many negative influences on them from the media and other kids? Should it be an active process, and if so, at what age do you start to do it?

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Name : Beth-B, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Edinburgh, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : PhD Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lucy-H22681]

When kids are growing up they have a tremndous need to fit in with the other kids. The need to belong to the group is very basic to human beings. In trying to belong, kids will often try to push other kids out that are different – for whatever reason. Kids pick on other kids for many reasons, and its up to the parents to teach their children that its ok to be different. The best way to teach is by example, so parents should examine any prejudices that they have and get over them because the kids will pick up on those prejudices. Parents also need to talk to their kids – and listen to them. Talk to them about why differences are positive and listen to their thoughts and feelings about other people. And remind them how boring the world would be if we were all the same.

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Name : Lucy-H22681, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 25, City : San Jose, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lawrence]

Hi Beth, I have no children of my own but I have nieces and nephews that have been a big part of my life. I do know that children learn by example. I have seen in my lifetime that children that come from broken homes act out more than children who have parents at home. My nieces and nephews were raised with so much love,admiration,and attention that they see their world differently than other children. My grand niece (25) and her daughter (6) are very honest with each other. The older one answers all her questions, and she the younger one asks every question under the sun. I do think older people sqwelch the childrens souls when they want to be kids. Parents put boys and girls in their boxes. I do think that is wrong. I have always told the young kids in my life that the world is theirs for the asking. Thats a better response than shut-up or be quiet I am watching Oprah. Adults forget that they were once kids themselves. I think that when you give your kids a solid base like that they can face a world of hatred and violence and come home unscathed. Oh by the way, you start the process when you FIRST look in to their beautiful eyes.

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Name : Lawrence, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : I just believe in God thats all., Age : 40, City : Stockton, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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