[Anne-C]

I’d like to hear from mothers and fathers who’ve made the decision for one parent to stay at home. I’m doing some research on the influence media and society have on this decision. I’ve heard hostility, resentment and regret from women on both sides of the issue. There seems to be more support for working mothers outside the home, while mothers who decide to remain full-time parents often lack support from family, friends and other working professionals. Please give your background and own experiences about choices in your life, and please note the majority of time your child(ren) spend with adults, care givers, family, etc. I’d also like to hear from children about who the major influences in their life have become and why.
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User Detail :  

Name : Anne-C, Gender : F, Age : 39, City : Thunder Bay, Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, 

[Gephry]

My husband and I knew I would stay at home when our daughter was born. (This was my choice, by the way, not a sexist agenda. I insisted.) We aren’t rich, but the idea of handing over our girlie to someone else for hours at a stretch every day literally gives me a cold sweat. We’d rather live simply (read: broke) than be away from her all the time.

My mother was a stay-at-home until I was in the fifth grade, so maybe that is a bit of an influence. We are still very close, and I chalk it up, partially, to her just being available when I was a kid.

User Detail :  

Name : Gephry, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Smokey Point, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Mama, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[J. Lawrence]

I am a working mother of two young children. I returned to work shortly after each child was born. My kids are in a church day care for 8 hours a day. I think returning to work vs. staying home is a difficult decision for any parent but it’s harder on women than men. Society expects men to be the breadwinners, to go off and earn a living, to provide for their families. Women seem to catch flack regardless of what they decide to do. If you stay home, some working people think you are watching TV and eating bon bons all day. If you work, you are heartless for ‘paying someone else to raise your kids’ (if I’ve heard this one once, I’ve heard it a million times). The bottom line is this: some families have no choice but to have both parents working. Not everyone can survive above poverty levels on just one parent’s salary. They can’t ‘cut out’ the luxuries because they don’t have the luxuries. However, there are some families where both parents work because both parents *want* to work. That is the case in my household. Neither me nor my husband choose to stay home with our kids 24/7. We simply DO NOT WANT to be full time homemakers, and therefore we fall into the category which is most criticized of all- those who work because they want to and not because they have to. I firmly believe I am a better mother as a working mother. When I stay home for long periods of time (longer than 4 days or so), I become totally bored, snappish and unhappy. Work fulfills me intellectually as well as helps me economically. I fully understand that some people are thrilled to just be with their kids all the time but I am not one of them. I love them with my whole heart but I need my work to keep me well rounded. When I am with them, we spend lots of quality time together with games, books, trips, etc. My kids are well adjusted, smart, and enjoy going to school to see their friends every day. There are days I reconsider my decision but I never completely doubt myself. I don’t think I will look back at these years and say ‘I wish I stayed home’. I am happy with my choice. By the way, my mother stayed home when I was growing up. She recently admitted to me that she wishes she had the choice to work when we were young. There is no reason for anyone to hate someone else because they are doing what works best for their own situation, but this sadly happens in the ‘stay at home’ vs. ‘working mother’ wars.

User Detail :  

Name : J. Lawrence, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 36, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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