Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 20 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 3 months ago by
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For middle-class to rich people: Do you feel like you’ve missed out on the genuine experience of life by being sheltered by your money? And do you think poor people are more ‘real’ than you are?
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Name : Amber31562, Gender : F, Age : 30, City : n/a, State : AK, Country : United States, Social class : Lower class,My family is part of ‘middle class’ America, and many of my friends and co-workers come from the middle or upper class. This does not shelter us or make us any less ‘real.’ No matter what the class, we are victims of crime, of terrorism, and in these economically unstable times, we do worry about money. Our loved ones can get killed, our children can do drugs and our lives can fall to pieces, just like yours. I think some people who would be considered ‘poor’ have a skewered view of the ‘real’ world when all they see is poverty and dashed dreams. It’s not how much money you have in your pockets, it’s how much you are willing to work for what you want.
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Name : Mary21978, Gender : F, Age : 29, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,I have had more different experiences due to my family’s wealth than I had without it. I do not see this as a bad thing; some of these different experiences include being able to travel and knowing I could afford college (which I am paying for independently).
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Name : Alex29056, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 19, City : Beloit, State : WI, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,A lot of us have had the experience of being ‘poor’ (or deprived or without). My mother and father come from upper-middle class families. However, after they married, they really struggled because my father was a teacher and my mother a teacher’s aide. My father changed jobs but didn’t do much better in pay level. There were four children in our family, and some had health problems, as well as my mother. There were not a whole lot of luxuries. But since that was the 1950s and ’60s, I didn’t know we were having a hard time – except when I overheard conversations about being behind in the mortgage payments, etc. The only reason we had a house was because my grandfather had given my parents money for the downpayment.
Still, I treasure my childhood, and because life was sometimes a struggle, I feel I appreciate everything I have today. Just because people are middle class or wealthy today doesn’t mean that has always been the case.
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Name : Annie23905, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 51, City : Lawrenceville, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : copy editor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I grew up ‘poor.’ I now can afford to pay my bills on time. I seem to be in a middle-class enviroment. I go away on weekends. I buy as many groceries as I want. I don’t fret about getting ill. I eat out whenever I feel like it. I have a car and take it for granted. If it needs fixing, the prospect of living without a car because I can’t afford to get it fixed does not cross my mind. I buy clothes and trinkets as fashions change, not as I need them. Of course money shelters people. That’s why some rich folks feel they have to climb mountains and travel, etc., to ‘experience’ life or ‘find themselves.’ Rich people are real and have more access to the world’s resources, no question about that. And everybody in the world has to live through the trials of life (death, emotional struggle, etc.) Being poor is more of an experience. It builds your character and takes away your wide-eyed innocence by teaching you the realities of life. When you’re rich, you tend to forget, and tend to feel fed and happy. If you’re rich, you may worry about putting on a few pounds and how you should go to the gym, instead of how you’ll manage to pay rent and look after your kids without losing your place and your children’s hope for a future. If you’re rich, you may worry about losing your high-paying job and settling for a lower-class job (not that working for minumum wage would cross your mind). When you work on minimum wage, you have less to lose, but it means the bare minimum that you survive on will be taken away and there may be no other options. Some rich people find it acceptable that the media goes crazy at the terrible tragedy of a rich kid being lost but never focuses on the continuing young deaths of teenage youths affected by gang violence. Some rich folks think it’s the kid’s own fault, as though it’s all a simple lifestyle choice. As though resources and hope have nothing to do with the psychology of a young human.
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Name : A.K., Gender : F, Age : 25, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Whatever,I’m not sure what you mean by ‘real’ or ‘genuine’ life experiences. I consider myself middle class, hold a professional degree, attended a private university, was a member of a sorority while there and had a serious Ralph Lauren Polo habit while I was in high school. However, the Polo was paid for with baby-sitting money, and I cleaned houses to help defray college expenses. I’ve lost friends to violence and AIDS. From what exactly is my oh-so-relative economic status supposed to protect me?
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Name : C19206, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 30s, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : lawyer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Ah! I can’t stand it. I worked very hard for everything I have. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. And no, I don’t think people with less money are more ‘real’ than me. I’m the real deal, hun. You’re not the only one I’ve encountered who asked that question. Is being poor the only genuine life experience there is? I’ve been through so many things, but yes, I’m very blessed. No one made me this way but me. So quit your whining.
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Name : Kesha26496, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Pittsburgh, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Computers, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think this question really includes a couple assumed conclusions – first, that one’s family having money necessarily shelters one from social or personal problems. The second assumption is that being something other than poor or working-class somehow makes you a less-than-authentic person. I think both of these assumptions are fatally, inherently flawed. Having been at the lower end of the social and economic spectrum in the past, it feels insulting to poor people to assume that money or other personal problems are in themselves enobling, There seems also to be the implication that being screwed up or screwed over is an honorable thing. That seems totally backward to me.
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Name : Jason31230, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 29, City : Omaha, State : NE, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have been sheltered from a lot of things. I could live quite comfortably on my family’s money for a time, but I’ve worked at different times as a busboy, dishwasher and warehouse worker since I was 15. I think that let me experience some things, but I haven’t ever had to depend on the check I earned, so I have been protected from others. I’ve met people less fortunate than me who haven’t worked, and I can’t imagine how they could do that. As for more ‘real,’ I don’t think anyone is more real than anyone else. Those not as fortunate as I am just…aren’t. Sucks, but that’s U.S. capitalism. What I should ask is do people with less money think people with more are less ‘real?’
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Name : J.C., Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 21, City : San Antonio, State : TX, Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class,For some, I’d say yes. Many people who are first-generation middle or upper class (those who grew up poor but worked hard and achieved) tend to shelter their children from harshness. My parents forbade me to go to overnight camp as a young child, for example. I didn’t get to go until I was 16, and that was after much begging. The only thing they wanted me to turn out as was a ‘lady.’ While I don’t mind that (in fact, I want more young people, both boys and girls, to be ‘polished up’), I wish I did have some more ‘outdoor’ experience that I probably would have enjoyed very much.
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Name : Cynthia31734, Gender : F, Race : Asian, Age : 23, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Graduate Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,What do you consider ‘the genuine experience of life’? Everyone has a different life, no matter what class they are in. I grew up in a middle-class household and had a wonderful, happy childhood. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. Why would poor people be more ‘real’ than me? Once I got out on my own, I was on my own. I don’t have a trust fund or rich relatives who are going to leave me money some day. Luckily I’ve worked since I was 16 so I’ve never had a problem getting a job. Just because I know that I’m able to eat every day and that I have money for my rent doesn’t mean my life isn’t ‘real’. My life is real because I work hard to have those things I want. My life and experiences are ‘real’ because I’ve been able to travel and live in many places, because I have people in my life who I love, because I have opinions and views. What genuine experiences does being poor give you? My experiences may be different, but that doesn’t make them any less genuine.
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Name : Ann, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 30, City : Orange County, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Analyst, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’ll admit that having money does offer some shelter from the truths of the world. I have two little brothers who know nothing of drugs and gun violence or racism simply because we live in an upper middle class, predominantly white neighborhood that isn’t subjected to those things. I was the same way. To tell you the truth, the only guns I’ve seen are on movies and TV – and hunting in the country with my uncle, if that counts for anything. Rich parents try to give their children life experiences by sending them off on Outward Bound programs and on backpacking tours in Europe and South America. And I don’t know anymore about life from being bussed through Italy with my parents’ credit card in tow. I know many kids who I go to school with who are quite well-off who try to venture out into the ‘real world’ to meet some ‘real people’ and are only disappointed that they don’t match the images on TV. We all have convoluted images of each other. It’s fair to say that working-class individuals are forced to experience the toils and hardships of life more often than the upper classes, but what the hell do you mean by being ‘more real’? That’s like when people say I’m ‘less black.’
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Name : Naj, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/Italian/Native American (Ima Sambo), Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 16, City : Miami, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Upper middle class,Yes, I admit it: I am in a higher-income range and don’t think I’ve missed out on anything. I think ‘close’ poor families and ‘dysfunctional’ wealthy families are just stereotypes. I have a loving family AND I can shop at Bloomingdales. I guess the only concern is whether I will have enough money when I’m on my own. Seeing as I’m college-bound, however, I doubt I will have much trouble. The point is, it’s the kind of people, not the wealth of people, that matters. Yes, sometimes I feel like I live in a little castle and have all to my heart’s desire – but then I have my friends to bring me back down to earth.
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Name : Victoria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 15, City : Scranton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Upper middle class,Real life does not mean a struggle. I’ve gone half-way around the world. That’s experiencing life. I am by no means rich, so I think your question is a way to justify your current situation.
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Name : Jason31253, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Dayton, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,When my dad was making $50K a year and enough to comfortably live in modest luxury (compared to the non-U.S. standard) none of our concerns were about money. As soon as he got a much higher-paying job, the family became torn apart. We all saw each other differently. Lots of new posessions and the greater living space caused nothing but envy, greed and fighting, and this was from a once-relatively stable home. We were much happier living simpler.
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Name : Brianna23059, Gender : F, City : Glendora, State : CA, Country : United States,
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