Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 26 replies, 27 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 2 months ago by
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To white men: What do you think of white women who date black men? As you may well know, generally speaking, black women will not hesitate to answer this question, but there seems to be little or no feedback from white men. From the days of slavery, the white man has placed the white woman on a pedestal for the world to see and said, ‘You may look, but don’t you DARE touch, OR ELSE!’ He has deemed her as the ‘so-called’ standard of beauty. How then do white men – the societal ‘top of the totem pole’ – feel knowing that growing numbers of white women are dating black men?
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Name : KC-Tate26525, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Paralegal,It doesn’t bother me one bit. I don’t put white women on a pedestal as the de facto standard of beauty. If people are happy, then the world is a better place. Women are not objects to be ‘guarded’ against anything. We’re all people.
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Name : Me21908, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 27, City : San Francisco Bay Area, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I’ve never known any white women who dated black men. I am, though, friends with a couple comprised of a white man and black woman. I say good for him. I hear black women are extraordinarily virile in bed and shut their mouths at the sight of the back of your hand, or so he tells me. As for white women dating black men, it seems to me that the only white women who go in for that sort of thing are fat, white-trash cows and not the sort of women I consider to be in my dating pool, anyway.
I’ve never seen an interracial couple that looks like the ones in McDonalds ads. Usually it’s an unholy pair representing the dregs of their respective races, the black guy thinking he’s ‘sticking it to the man’ by sleeping with a white woman who no white man would touch with a 10-foot pole, and the white woman thinking about how pissed her uncle Jesse’ll be when he finds out. If they want to get knocked up and spend the rest of their lives raising a child alone, it’s a free country and frankly doesn’t concern or involve me.
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Name : J-Krate, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,Up here in New York City, ‘mixed’ couples are very commonplace – of all racial and gender combinations – which is a good sign for society, I think. But as a white guy? Honestly, I really don’t care. As long as they’re happy. Though I have heard of some black guys having a ‘trophy’ attitude toward dating white women, which is a little creepy. Anybody else heard this?
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Name : Ric-M, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : various, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Why should it? Maybe it’s the lack of pedestals around to pop white women on (with “Don’t Touch” signs around their necks), but among my generation of Londoners, relationships between people of different ethnic origins aren’t viewed as remarkable. Within five years, the largest ethnic minority in the United Kingdom will be people of mixed race.
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Name : Paul30496, Gender : M, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom,As a white man, the idea of black men dating or marrying white women doesn’t bother me one bit. In fact, I think interracial coupling should be encouraged. It can only lead to greater understanding and diminished friction between such ethnic groups. Only one time in my life, about 15 years ago, did I ever hear a white guy complain about black men dating white women. He thought they (the black men) were after sex. I said, ‘What do you think white guys are after?’ He had to think about that one.
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Name : Rick29924, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Springfield, State : OH, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think you esteem the white world too much. I couldn’t care less who dates whom. I actually have a lot of respect for interracial couples because it is not easy on them. I actually find your question to reflect that you are quite a racist, meaning you have these beliefs you level across the entire white race that don’t exist. As long as the two people like each other and they have accepting and supportive families/friends, what would it matter to an outsider? I speculate as to what your real intended question/perception is. I mean, do you really care what I think of whom you are dating?
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Name : Matthew, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,Matthew, being that I’m in an interracial relationship myself, and having long-standing and cherished friendships with many white people, and having white relatives (by marriage), let me assure you that I’m not racist. Throughtout this nation’s history, countless black men have been beaten (or worse) for even looking at a white woman the wrong way. I didn’t have an ulterior motive for asking the question, it was a question I asked because I was curious. Being a black woman, I get lots of imput on how other black women feel about this subject, but I haven’t heard much about how white males feel. If someone can come to this forum and ask why blacks tend eat chicken (and yes, someone actually did), surely I can ask a question so that my curiosity can be satisfied without being called a racist….but that’s ok–you didn’t know any better.
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Name : KC-TATE26527, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Paralegal,If you consider a 5’3, 115-pound white woman with a bachelor’s degree and currently working in her field who is married to a black man with a master’s degree who is an officer in the Armed Forces a ‘fat white-trash cow,’ so be it. You can call me that. That’s your opinion. I met my husband 12 years ago at his company. This fine man is the father of our two children and is an outstanding member of the community. I chose to date and then marry my husband because of his religious beliefs and strong character. He is trustworthy, caring and a wonderful provider. As far as the interracial couples you’ve seen, there are millions of us in the United States. You’ve got a long way to go before you can comment on all of us as a group. There are people in every walk of life who are married outside of their race and proud of it.
I’m so relieved I’m not in your dating pool. Your opinion of women and general lack of respect is obvious by your statement about the back of a man’s hand. I guarantee you I speak for every woman in America when I say that any man who would lay a hand on me is not only not worth my time but would be telling how he did it from traction in a hospital bed.
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Name : Beth, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 34, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Freelance writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If the couple is dating each other because they truly like each other, there’s not problem. But if the relationship is based on preconceived notions of one another, then there’s a problem (i.e. the white woman dating the black man because she thinks black men are better in bed, the black man dating the white woman because he thinks it’s ‘a step up’, etc.). But a casual observer wouldn’t normally be able to tell.
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Name : M22297, City : n/a, State : NA, Country : United States,I think of these white women as white self-haters hell-bent on destroying their people. They must not think of themselves as mothers of a nation and a people. We can’t reproduce beyond our replacment level, and I think we need to work on race relations in a different way than throwing a man and woman of different races together and having children. If this keeps up, in the next 100 or so years there will be no diversity.
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Name : TE-Nagle, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 43, City : Cleveland, State : OH, Country : United States,Your friend is wrong. Any man, of whatever skin color, who shows me the back of his hand is going to see the toe of my cowboy boot rapidly approaching his ass. Also, please do not call yourself a Christian. Jesus would not call some of his children ‘fat, white-trash cows.’
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Name : ED25480, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 45, City : Kansas City, State : MO, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College,First, you CLAIM to be from New York City… Please, I can’t believe someone so ignorant could be living in such a diverse area. I’m sure you’ve offended not only an entire race of black women, but as a white woman I can only assume I’m not the only white person offended by your nonsensical rantings. Crawl out from under your rock and start living in the real world.
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Name : Danielle27244, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Southern, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Scientist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Please rethink your opinion that ‘the only white women who go in for that sort of thing are fat, white-trash cows.’ My closest white girlfriend is married to a black man. I would not classify her in that manner, as she is beautiful, generous and loving, and has a well-kept house along with a full-time job and their new baby. He is a wonderful man who supports and loves his wife and child, and their marriage is a positive example for ANY couple.
My husband and I met this couple through church. It has been a blessing to know them as people, not as an ‘interracial couple.’ I would hope that you get to meet some exceptional people like my friends who open your eyes to the fact that your opinions are not always reality.
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Name : Heather, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Cincinnati, State : OH, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Your response is virulently hateful and matches the negative tone of the woman who posted the question. For someone who is ‘unconcerned’ and ‘uninvolved,’ your message screams, ‘I’m jealous’ or ‘I hate them both.’ And the fact that you responded at all shows that, contrary to your statement, you were concerned enough to respond. Go and read your Bible. You have a long way to go be Christ-like.
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Name : Alicia31402, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,
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