[Priya]

I have noticed that white men tend to be attracted mainly to other white women, and if they are ever attracted to women of color, they are usually the lighter ones with more Caucasian features. If blondes with fake tans are attractive, then why not naturally darker women? Men of color, too, tend to be more attracted to the lighter/more white-looking women of color. Are my observations consistent with those of others?

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Name : Priya, Gender : F, Age : 19, City : Berkeley, State : CA, Country : United States, 

[John K.]

I cannot speak for nonwhite men, since that attraction includes a completely different dynamic. However, I think that it is easy to explain why white men tend to find women with light features attractive. It actually has very little to do with the color, per se. I think it has to do with the shape of the facial features. While it is not always the case, humans tend to feel more comfortable around people who have features closely resembling their own. For whites, that would mean a generally thin face, thin nose, etc. This is true of women of any ethnic group, though personal racism can get in the way. Women with features that tend towards the ‘European’ norm are seen as more attractive. Look at Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, even Janet Jackson…they may be nonwhite, but they have facial features that are very similar to whites. You can probably think of some other nonwhite celebrities that can serve as examples. Just keep in mind that this is a generalization…there are always going to be exceptions.

User Detail :  

Name : John K., Gender : M, Age : 26, City : Cranford, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Chemical Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lisa]

Dear Priya: It seems that white women (or white looking women) are more sought after by white and sometimes non-white men, although I think this is starting to change. I am from a 1/2 Jewish family, and I am darkly complected, and have always been treated as an ethnic person by whites. I now live in a primarily Hispanic area, and for the first time don’t feel like I am being judged initially by my appearance; I seem to blend here. I think this community has different standards for what is attractive, because everyone is mostly Hispanic, but I have heard from the students that I teach that more darkly complected people are treated differently. I have no clue, Priya, why this exists, except to say that it does.

User Detail :  

Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, City : Tucson, State : AZ, Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Dan27149]

I constantly hear black women complain about how ‘all the brothers are dating white women.’ Black women seldom flirt with me to the same extent that white women do, and my male friends share the same experiences. I _never_ see white man/black woman couples, while black man/white woman couples are very common. This tells me that black women aren’t receptive to interracial relationships with white men. Dating’s hard enough as it it already — why should I go where I’m not wanted and face certain rejection?

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Name : Dan27149, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 33, City : Denver, State : CO, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[ED25486]

I agree with some of your observations. All men in America, whatever their skin color, have been conditioned by exposure to television, movies, and magazines to prefer light-skinned black, or white, women. Most of the black male movie stars fit this pattern (a notable exception being Denzel Washington). However, it has been my observation that white men who date black women have chosen darker-skinned women with natural hair and more African features. For instance, Alfre Woodard is married to a white man, Roger Ebert is married to a dark-skinned black woman, and Whoopi Goldberg seems to have no shortage of white suitors. And Robert DeNiro can’t seem to get enough!

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Name : ED25486, Race : Black/African American, Age : 42, City : Kansas City, State : MO, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Heather21489]

Priya, I think your observation is correct. All men are exposed to the beauty standard from birth. It stands to reason that most are affected by it.

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Name : Heather21489, City : Northern New Jersey, State : NJ, Country : United States, 

[Rob]

I believe that attractivness is subjective and shouldn’t have to be explained. I’m attracted to the person, not what shade they happen to be. I’ve gone out with dark-skinned people (whatever that means) and light-skinned people. I don’t really care for overly tanned blonds and actually find this to be a bit goofy. Having almost white hair and a dark-brown body to me is a bit too contrasting.

There is a stereotype that a lot of women like to spout that men are attracted only to tall, large-breasted women. That may be true for a lot of men, but my wife is 5’4″ with red hair and a pale complexion with freckles. I find that totally beautiful.

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Name : Rob, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 28, City : Warren, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Architect, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lisa]

I’m a white woman currently dating a black man. My criteria for dating has usually had nothing to do with race, but with geography, availability and attitude. I’ve never been asked out by African, Asian, Mexican or any other non-Caucasion man. So this is a new experience for me. I thought I would feel different kissing him, making love to him, etc. The funny thing is, I don’t. I feel just as free with him as with every other man I’m with. Am I more or less attracted to him because of his skin color? No, but there was that initial hesitancy about whether being with a man whose skin color was so much darker than mine would make the whole intimacy issue a big deal.

I say all of this as a preface to this remark: I think color does matter in the initial stages of a relationship. For me, the attraction to Carl was there, but there was also some inherent need to keep him at arm’s length because he was different. But he was also, initially, a curiosity to me, too. What would be different about him?

As to why he is with a white woman, I don’t know. I don’t want to ask. His answer may be the same as mine, which is I just don’t give a damn. What would disturb me, however, would be if he only wanted white women because of a prejudice he had against black women. So I guess I don’t want to know.

The idea that women of lighter complexion are more attractive might have more to do with what’s portrayed in the media. I know that sounds stereotypical, but I think it really does hold true. You tend to like what you always see. Just as a toddler only wants to play with something that another child has, people tend to want only the things that someone shows them. So, you see 90 percent white women being touted as the be-all, end-all of beauty, and you tend to get woodies at lighter women. Just as it is with skinny women, and big-breasted women. Most women aren’t like that, but that’s what most men go for. The trick is to find a man who has an imagination and who is an explorer. A Vasco de Gama or Amerigo Vespucci of the enlightened age. A man who seeks out that which is unusual, new and different. Someone who isn’t satisfied with what he knows, but loves discovering that which makes him happy.

User Detail :  

Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 32, City : Kansas City, State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer/Web Developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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