Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 25 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 8 months ago by
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Why does it matter to my parents if I date a guy who is three years older than me?
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Name : Katherine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 16, City : Coleman, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Because, my dear…in most states ’16 will get you 20′ (years in prison for having sex with a minor).
User Detail :
Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 42, City : Ben Lomand, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Probably because you’re a minor, and he is considered an adult.
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Name : ED25443, Gender : F, Age : 46, City : Kansas City, State : MO, Country : United States,I think the problem probably is that your dad can remember what he was like when he was 19. I dont have any daughters but I would dread the day when they started seeing guys cos I can remember what I was like at that age!
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Name : Bert, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 31, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom,Your parents are just looking out for your best interest. I’m twenty, and believe me, there is either something undesirable about a guy my age who feels comfortable dating a girl as young as you. Also, there is a huge difference in a guys actions as he goes from 16 to 19. They’re just worried about you, and believe it or not, they do know what they’re talking about. Take their advice.
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Name : Jason31252, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Ugly, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Dayton, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Well first of all, your age says your 16. How much older do you want to date? You cant go much older than a year because of certain laws im sure you have heard of. Some Older men tend to look for more mature women who can understand their needs and aspirations. On the other hand, older men who look for younger females tend to want some one they can mold, push around without having to give a damn thing. At age 16, the second type of older men are the ones you will probably mostly attract. I can understand the myth that all younger males are immature and if you say you cant find anyone your age to respect you, I would understand. As true as this may be, never forget that there are people out their who prey on children and teens. Don’t get caught up in that. Your parents are probably just looking out for your well being, something that lacks in alot of parents today. If i were you, i would stick to who I know and what I know until i was 18 years of legal age.
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Name : Dominique, Gender : F, Age : 20, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Scientist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,There are a few reasons why your parents may not be happy with you dating a guy three years older than you are. There are age statutes, depending on where you live and another difference is the maturity level between the two of you. Three years is not a big difference btw, say 25 and 28, but when you are a teenager, it can be large. Maybe they are worried that he will push you to do things you aren’t ready for. Your parents are just doing their jobs trying to protect you.
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Name : senetra28029, Gender : F, Age : 29, City : anderson, State : IN, Country : United States,1st of all it’s the law, at least in NY, that someone 18 and over can’t be with someone under 17. Hopefully you’re turning 17 soon.
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Name : John29232, City : Chestnut, State : NY, Country : United States,Your parents are worried that this guy will distract you from a very important time of your own life. You’re at an age when you’re easily influenced and could get into trouble before you’re even adult enough to understand what the real consequences are. He’s probably not still in high school, so he won’t be understanding of the idea that you have homework. You’ll want to do the things that he wants because they’re more adult, so you’ll ignore things that are really important to this time of your life. The next 4 years really will make a huge difference to the whole rest of your life. Absolute truth. No matter how hard and ugly these years are, they are very important. Your parents know this because they remember their own stupid mistakes. This guy is going to want lots of attention, he’ll want sex, and probably drinking, maybe drugs. All that’s very exciting when you’re pretending to be an adult. But the point is, you’re not an adult, these are the years when you learn how to be one. All those exciting adult things can have really sad consequences, because you don’t have the skills yet to make adult choices. It’s like the age difference between 3 & 6. There is a lot to learn and this guy will push you into things you’re not ready for. And you’ll go along with what he wants because you’re excited about not being a child anymore. Except that you’re not making your own choices, you’re making his. And he doesn’t have as much to lose because he’s already older. Your parents don’t just dislike this guy, they’re scared, really frightened, that you’re going to make a bad choice that they won’t be able to fix and make better, just because you want this guy to think you’re an adult already. You’re going to be an adult for 40 or 50 years. The only time you get to practice making good choices is the next 4 years. YOU are the most important thing in your life right now, not him. But you’ve already heard all this, and don’t believe it applies to you. So here’s the other option. It’s called harm reduction. You’re going to make some bad choices. Just decide right now to minimize the consequences. Use condoms. Don’t drink and drive, or ride with a drunk driver. Don’t use hard drugs. If you can be strong about those few things, you’ll survive. Adults have principles, self-protection and self-repect will get you through the deepest trouble.
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Name : Rebecca Harris, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 44, City : Oakland, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Marketing, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Because they think he only wants you for sex.
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Name : Anne23856, Age : 20, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom,It’s not always a big deal to date some one 3 years older or younger. But at your age it is a big deal, especially to your parents. The problem is that between the ages of 15 and 20 there is a lot to learn, and a lot of changes occure between these years. Personally, at the age of 16, I was mentally unable to approach or really cope with girls on any kind of dating level. However, buy the age of 18, I was WAY ready to date. This applies to you because you may be at a point where you’re only comfortable making out with your boyfriend, but he’s ready for oral sex or intercourse. There will not be as big a difference between two relatively mature adults.
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Name : Josh, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Arcata, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Cook, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,You write you’re 16 (i.e. a minor) and his three years age difference make him 19 (i.e. legally an adult). From what I know of American laws, he could be charged with seduction of a minor, paedophilia or even statuatory rape (depending on the case made of it). If I were you, I’d care about him dating you, too, and not blame it all on your folks. You want to tread careful on that territory.
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Name : T27545, Gender : F, Religion : Atheist, Age : 33, City : Munich, State : NA, Country : Germany, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,They believe he has more experience seducing girls and they’re afraid you’ll be so anxious to ‘show off’ an older guy to gf’s that you’ll put out for him where you may not for a younger guy.
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Name : Dave-McGee, Sexual Orientation : trans, Race : mixed, Religion : Pagan, Age : 49, City : McCleary, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : unemployed, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,Are you sure that they object to the age difference? Perhaps they would still object to your dating if the boy was 17? Maybe they’re not worried about his age but yours. With all the temptations in the world today some parents may worry about their daughter being exposed to them before (they feel) she is old enough to be able to handle them. On the other hand, mayble it’s not the age difference but this particular boy. Are their things about him that they may find objectionable? If you were to try to date someone else of the same age, do you think that they’d still object?
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Name : Michael-Walters, City : Tampa, State : FL, Country : United States,Hmm.. good question. Well, it really depends on your maturity, their maturity, and your ages. When your young, dating older guys is more of an issue, because a lot of things change in a matter of three years. Your parents are just trying to protect you. Try and understand that, but trust your own judgements as well.
User Detail :
Name : Arwen23791, Gender : F, City : Piscataway, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Student,
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