Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 18 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 10 months ago by
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It’s actually more ‘primal’ than forgetting, etc. Oral storytelling is eons-old, and how humanity passes on much of its history. Seven years ago, I ‘married into’ a Southern family, and soon found out that hearing the same stories ‘over and over’ is simply to ensure they don’t die with the storyteller. With two parents (one mine, one my wife’s) chronically ill, I only now realize that the ‘mantle’ of telling these family histories will soon pass to me, and all the hours I have listened were not only not wasted, but necessary.
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Name : Sparlan Orr, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 39, City : Decatur, State : AL, Country : United States, Occupation : Truck Driver, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Hang on buckaroo! You got a lot of years ahead of you and lots to learn from your elders. Loneliness and the need for human interaction accounts for much of the extended talk time. It can be a part of a pathology, but often it is part of the natural past life review process. As we near rhe end of our lives we tend to do a recapitulation and try to put our lives in perspective. It helps to have a listener. As my father nears 80, we can kill an hour or two just talking about his week. And as he slows down he is more likely to tell me about his life experiences. It just wasn’t important to him when he was younger. The world needs more lollygagging time. Might even prevent heart attacks in young people? Can’t tell you what to think, but I would guess that one day you will want to know things that only your living great-grandmother may know. You and she share a common heritage. You do not have to listen to everybody’s life story. You can set limits. You can,also, steer the conversation away from aches and pains. Ask questions. Don’t give up on your great-grandmother yet. At 28, if your nerves are jangled so easily, you will make a dandy old codger one of these days.
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Name : Paul, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : diabetes, migraines, spinal deterioration, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Quaker, Age : 53, City : Normal, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : university placement counselor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,i live with my grnadparents who are 80 & 81. one has dimentia and the other is often irate and almost never listens to anything anyone says, and loves to complain. i can’t wait till i get out of that house and get a place of my own, but id never write either one of them off, no matter how many times ive had to storm out the house in frustration. they have lived a long time and want to share their experiences. they know they don;t have but so much time left and want to show that they arent just taking up precious oxygen. sometimes theyre also lonely. they dont belong to any groups, dont work (1 retired nurse & 1 ww2 veteran), arent in school, and hove very little means of social activity (most often because people younger than them brush off thier comments). be patient with your g-grand, and like another responder said, set time limits. i’m sure you’ll wish he or she would bother with some stories oncee theyve passed on.
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Name : cellie-mil19157, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 21, City : brooklyn, State : NY, Country : United States,Old people are not the only ones who do this, but you can learn to set boundaries. When you arrive, tell her you can only stay 20 minutes. If they ask why, just say, “I have other obligations.” Try not to lie. After 15 minutes, look at your watch and say, “It’s nice talking to you, but I need to leave soon.” Then do it at 20 minutes or so – not rudely, just assertively. She may not like it at first, but if you make a habit of doing this, she’ll get used to it. Be sure to say, “I love you” whether you mean it or not and hopefully she won’t be too upset. If you train yourself to do this (it takes practice to work up the nerve), you won’t resent her so much and can have pleasanter visits. Also, you may come prepared to tell her something about your life, bring photos, tell h
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Name : ShirleyAvery, Gender : F, Disability : none, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 52, City : st. louis, State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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