[Arree C.]

Why is it that Caucasian people don’t like talking to their friends of different races or ethnic backgrounds about their differences? Why is this subject all of a sudden so uncomfortable to discuss?

User Detail :  

Name : Arree C., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Chris32137]

They dont talk about it because they dont want people of other races to know how racist they really are.

User Detail :  

Name : Chris32137, City : Waldorf, State : MD, Country : United States, 

[Jean31148]

I think it’s because we are afraid of offending. We have been told over and over that it is offensive to draw attention to racial differences, so we avoid it. Recently I complimented a black woman on her beautiful complexion and then wondered if she was offended. I was sincere in my compliment (she had beautiful skin) and decided it would just have to be OK, but I was also concerned not to offend when I was trying to be friendly.

We want to be kind and friendly and inoffensive, so we avoid getting too close to areas where we are unsure how any comments might be received.

User Detail :  

Name : Jean31148, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 43, City : Plano, State : TX, Country : United States, 

[Kenneth]

Fear of conflicts. I was brought up to avoid them, to get along as best I can and avoid arguments. I am a private person and respect others’ privacy above all else. To respect my privacy is to not pry very much into my beliefs. But at the same time, I study those around me, and from watching I construct assumptions or patterns about others’ behavior and what to expect. I listen continuously but rarely speak. For me to offend needlessly is something I was brought up against. In my work life, it’s an “I do my task and you do yours, we are all in this together” feeling. But fear of needless conflict sums it up. Any pattern of aggression puts a wall between us. I envy some of the closeness I hear about while listening to others speak about their family life.

User Detail :  

Name : Kenneth, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 54, City : Winston- Salem, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Mechanic, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jay31358]

Talk about what? If you are friends with someone, it is usually because you have common interests – and for the most part you talk about that. What should people talk about? I find that many blacks want to talk ad nauseum about racism – often with a negative vibe toward whites – so why the hell would you wanna bring up that resentment if you’re chillin’ with your buddy? A better question would be why do blacks want to talk about racism so much, and why do they see other races as not people but ‘whites,’ ‘Asians’ ‘Indians,’ etc.

User Detail :  

Name : Jay31358, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, 

[Jeremy C.]

Let me get off to a weak start.. I believe the main problem is this liberal guilt they have. They feel guilty in some way about being white, that they group up privledged, and you won’t like them, or that they feel as an individual they may be smarter than you. Stuff like this can lead to this racial animosity. They have this fear of being a racist for discussing race.. I don’t know how to explain it, but it just exist. I’m an 18 year old white male, and have friends of many different races. I have friends from Guatamala, Columbia, Pakistan, and other places. I find that if you talk to them about where they are from, you can tackle the racist stereotypes. I don’t believe we have any real differences in race, except for maybe some cultural differences and religious. But all these differences are minor. Talk to your friends about your background, and ask them about theirs. I’ve found it to be quite funny when you talk about the stereotypes that are around. We laugh pretty damn hard, and I know more about their culture and have a deeper understanding because of it. It may seem difficult at first, but you are just like them, and they are just like you. By not talking about race, we allow racial animosity to divide us.

User Detail :  

Name : Jeremy C., Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Warwick, State : RI, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[TEH27572]

Do you talk about other ethnic backgrounds all the time with your friends? Ethnicity and other people’s differences are not necessarily a daily conversation for me. However, we do discuss it, I have taken culture diversity classes, and I don’t feel uncomfortable discussing it. I believe some people have a hard time because they are afraid of being offending or seeming to be racist. I have a hard time understanding when someone of another culture makes a comment about whites why that is not considered racism. When a white makes a similar comment, it is racism. And why is it African American or Hispanic American, but whites are white/Caucasian, why is it not European American/white? Why are we all not just American?

User Detail :  

Name : TEH27572, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 22, City : Independence, State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Nursing Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Tara]

I am mostly white and feel I cannot ask people of other races, especially blacks, questions about the cultural differences between us. I have seen so many times when a white person mentions that a black person is black, that the black person gets offended, yet the black people I work with can say things like ‘white people can’t dance’ and it’s OK. I am really curious about aspects of black culture, but I don’t want to offend anybody by asking questions that may be inappropriate.

User Detail :  

Name : Tara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : 3/4 white 1/4 mexican, Religion : Pagan, Age : 22, City : Raleigh, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Bartender, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Dawn25935]

I have to agree with some of the others who have posted. I was also raised not to bring up differences between people and to be careful about what you say so as to not offend. I have always been told that blacks and whites are really no different other than skin color. I have always believed it until recently when I moved to a part of the country where the black population is very high. I’ve gotten to know many black people and have found that there are big differences between us. I now see that they have their own culture. I’m fascinated by what I am learning. But yet still afraid to ask and talk about it.

User Detail :  

Name : Dawn25935, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 32, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[justin26866]

a conversation about race with a black person is always a one-way street that quickly turns into an ‘answer me this…’ lecture. it would be a whole other thing if it were more reciprocal. blacks approach that stuff with directness and honesty. unfortunately, it’s not appreciated in return. it’s almost worse with whites. from kindergarten on, white kids are fed a sort of political grand unification theory called ‘rich white men did it’. they spend the first forty years of their lives bickering and bragging about who’s less white and less rich than the other.

User Detail :  

Name : justin26866, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Dessire]

It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable. I just don’t want to offend anybody when talking about it.

User Detail :  

Name : Dessire, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Admin Asst., Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Kate26817]

To answer your question, I’m afraid to discuss differences with for example, black people- because I’m afraid that they might feel defensive. I’d rather focus on what is the same between us and then if that person feels comfortable, discuss differences. I’ve tried it once when chatting to someone who is black. He didn’t really want to ‘go there’ and it took a lot of trust and time to get him to discuss his life verses mine as a white female. I know that he felt I would either not get it, or would attack him verbally for what he said. And he didn’t want false sympathy. I wanted to understand. It’s too hot a topic sometimes. Ethnic differences is much easier from any other race than black/white in this country. That’s just how it is. I wish it weren’t! That’s what I came to yforum.com.

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Name : Kate26817, Gender : F, City : Brainerd, State : MN, Country : United States, 

[Jennifer31052]

I agree here. I live in an area not heavily populated with black people. Because I have had limited experience dealing with people of other races, I don’t know how people will react to me. Usually what makes the news or the papers is when the NAACP is reacting against something supposedly or actually racist. I tend to be overly sensitive to not offend what may be one of the 2% of black people who live in my town. Ignorance of those cultural differences is where I sit, though not completely of my own choice. I do, however, have plenty of friends from Mexico who live in our area and work in the furniture factory and at farms in the area. I’m more in tune with them and can discuss more without fearing they will ‘take it wrong’. Isolation of cultures, geographically or maybe just in cliques, can lead to a certain portion of that uncomfortable feeling.

User Detail :  

Name : Jennifer31052, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Somewhere in, State : KS, Country : United States, Occupation : Homeworker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[Lora]

As a white female, raised in an ethnically diverse are of Seattle, I can tell you that my own reluctance comes from having things I have said misunderstood and taken as racial slurs. I usually tread very carefully in discussions of race and culture until I know the other person well enough to have seen their ‘heart’. It is from the heart of the person that you know whether what they are saying has racist motivation or not. I do feel that we all need to be less defensive and more willing to try to talk about issues of race and this Y? forum seems to be a good place to start.

User Detail :  

Name : Lora, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 51, City : Pleasanton, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Retail Operations Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Jerome O.]

In addition to being fearful of causing offense, there is also no defined line of what’s acceptable and what isn’t. With minorities being exactly that — less in numbers — many white people don’t come into contact with members of minority groups. We minorities encounter white people ALL the time, so we’ve grown familiar with how to interact with white people. However, the converse isn’t always true — thus, the proliferation of ‘white jokes’ with black comedians but hardly the reverse. I try to break the ice with my friends by making comments about my ‘Asianness’. After all, I know I’m different, so why hide it or avoid it? By me saying it first, I am hoping to give my friends a measure of relaxation so they don’t have to tiptoe around that MAJOR difference. I also encourage them to ask me about my cultural background.

User Detail :  

Name : Jerome O., Gender : M, Race : Asian, Age : 31, City : Sterling Hts., State : MI, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

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