Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 6 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 9 months ago by
.
- Posts
I want to date and marry an Indian but it is not allowed in his country. He has to move to the United States just so we can be together. If I try to go and see him, we can’t be together because it would cause a whole lot of trouble. Why isn’t interracial dating and marriage allowed in india?
User Detail :
Name : Chekeia, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 20, City : Sherwood, State : AR, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I’m not an expert on their culture, but I do know that that caste system seems to divide people pretty strictly on racial or at least ‘skin color’ lines. But even if he’s dark-skinned (the lowest caste by far, as you are automatically ugly if you are dark-skinned) there would be plenty of trouble. I was told of these things by Indian Americans who grew up in the United States but who frequently go to India to visit relatives. You must also be aware that their culture looks at marriage somewhat differently than U.S. culture. It’s not that it is bad, but it is different, and this could open you up to a lot of hurt. The bottom line is that if he wants to marry you, he has to either 1) be prepared to defend himself and you from the racism you will encounter — including loss of career opportunities, or 2) abandon his culture, and maybe his family, and move here. And if you aren’t absolutely certain that you and he have the inner strength to fight this battle, you need to let it go.
User Detail :
Name : Wayne24404, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 44, City : Parsippany, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,At about your age, I was in love and wanted to marry a man who was from Bangladesh, a country that shares a lot of India’s culture. In both countries, among their own people, a very high regard is placed on skin color and marrying within your ‘status,’ whatever the perception of that ‘status’ may be. Indian men also (I am generalizing) tend to be very deferential to the wishes of their family. If you both really want an emotionally healthy life, it would probably be best to start your lives with one another in a less-stressful environment. If you both are meant to be, it will flourish no matter where you go.
User Detail :
Name : Kimberla K, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Atheist, Age : 33, City : Brooklyn, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Technology, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Chekia, It all depends on the Indian and his parents. Indians whose parents have traditional values make it difficult to date outside their race or cast. As India evolves the parents have also evolved with the times and change with traditions. My boyfriend is Indian and I am white. We have had no issues and his parents are very excited we may marry. His grandma on the other had has an issue. She is set in her traditional ways. African Americans are portrayed very negatively in India. Most Indians see what is on television and the media and believe it is true. Not everyone from India is aware how absurd and inaccurate that is. Realize what your boyfriend is also going through by going against his parents wishes and traditional values. I am sure his parents will open up once they realize how serious their son is about your relationship.
User Detail :
Name : Marie, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Southfield, State : MI, Country : United States,My husband was born in India. He agrees that you may encounter some resistance in India but maintains that in the same way that SOME family members may be against your marriage, others will accept it. Sure, it may be easier to live in the U.S. but to say that interracial marriage/dating isn’t ‘allowed’ in India is a misconception.
User Detail :
Name : Leslie22901, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : New York City, State : NY, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,It has nothing to do with skin color – even if you were white, that wouldn’t have made much difference (in India you cannot tell the caste of a person just by skin color). The major reason for the opposition will be your being a non-Indian. In India, once you marry somebody, you are expected to spend the rest of your life with that person. Divorces are rare and are an option only under very extreme conditions. People think that non-Indians, especially Westerners, do not generally have this level of commitment. The situation is made worse because of the cultural differences that may add a lot of pressure. Also, in India the bride and groom become a part of the family and will be expected to socialize with them (whereas in the United States relatives are not as important).
However, I have generally seen that people do accept the person after some period of opposition. Having said this, it is also true that Indians would prefer to marry within their own caste – this has more to do with the culture and the way of life for each particular caste. Some families, especially those from small towns, may be very particular about it. In cities, it is not as relevant.
User Detail :
Name : NS, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States,I’m an Indian male and I can tell you right now that the Indian government has nothing against interracial marriages. There is no issue of it not being allowed, it’s more of an issue of cultural acceptance. To understand the culture you have to first understand the people and where they are comming from. Especially the religions they associate (not necessarly believe) themselves with (for example, I am a ‘Hindu’ but am not religious at all). In India there are over 800 million Hindus, 110 million muslims and another 10 million people of other faiths (Jain, Siekh, Catholic, Christian). The boys family probably has very conservative values and in many Indian marriages, you’re not just marrying the person you love, you’re marrying into the family. The family probably dosn’t approve because they do not see how they could integrate with yours. This is a socio-cultural thing. It’s going to mostly fall on the shoulders of the boy you want to marry whether to marry you and to endure a lifetime of complaing from his family. It’s not impossible, just have to tread lightly. My girlfriend is Filipino. My parents didn’t approve at first, but as they got to know her, they liked her more and more. Good luck.
User Detail :
Name : A Roy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Indian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 28, City : Toronto, State : NA, Country : Canada, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.