Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 15 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 22 years, 9 months ago by
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Why do minority men disapprove of minority women being in interracial relationships? Why do they seem upset that minority women date white men but don’t care about what minority women have to say on the subject?
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Name : Curious, City : Harrisonburg, State : VA, Country : United States,I am a ‘minority man,’ but contrary to what you believe, I don’t disapprove of minority women being in interracial relationships. I am married to a white female, and I know that not all people – black, white or whatever – are happy about it. It is not a matter of everyone in a certain demographic disapproving of your relationship. Most importantly, it doesn’t matter to me what people like or dislike about my marriage; they cannot do anything to change it.
The main ideas I want you to take from my response are that 1) not all minority men disapprove, 2) it is not just minority men who will disapprove, and 3) don’t let idiots who disapprove get to you. Be with whoever makes you feel happy. That’s all that is important.
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Name : Tha-Real-Deal, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : P-town, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,We may be assuming that you are doing so for the wrong reasons. Perhaps you (‘you’ being generic, and not referring to you specifically, of course) are dating a white guy because you are ashamed of your own background or have rejected the values and norms you grew up with. Or because you think you will be provided with better financial security. Or that it will grant you a new level of social acceptance. Or that all the Brad Pitt and Leo DiCaprio spreads in Teen Magazine have conditioned you to find white men the height of attractiveness. Now, the above certainly isn’t the case with everyone. I’m biracial so I’ve got no room to talk. But the above has unfortunately been the case in many instances. Date people for true reasons, not shallow ones.
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Name : Dan27353, Gender : M, Race : Chicano, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 24, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Not all of us disapprove of interracial relationships. But from where I stand, some men are jealous of the fact that a man of another race has a beautiful woman on their arm, and they don’t. So the scapegoat to that is “She don’t need to be with him.”
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Name : Adam-L, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 25, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Military, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am a minority guy and I don’t mind it at all when a woman of my race dates a guy from another race. I believe with alot of men it is an ownership thing and they don’t want to see an outsider cross their boundary.
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Name : Dan27365, Gender : M, Age : 28, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I myself am mixed race, black and white. being in my situation, i am always involved in interracial dating. being a part of 2 races i cannot argue with white women dating black men or vice versa. i find that some of the most beautiful people come from mixed races. and in dealing with minority men disaaproving of minority women and the dating issue. i believe that it is a response to men feeling as though women are thiers. not as propery but more in the sense that there is a lack of security among the men that their women are finding more opportunity with someone of a different race. it should not matter, for we all bleed the same.
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Name : melissa, City : oshkosh, State : WI, Country : United States,Like most races, people prefer and feel more comfortable seeing their own with their own. That’s just a fact. As far as being with another race, I think men are just being jealous about them not being with her. Men of all races are jealous of not being with certain women and especially when the woman is with another race. Me personally, I could care less. I don’t have time to worry about somebody else’s life because my life hasn’t reached perfection and won’t so my time goes to worrying about me being happy and not about some strangers happiness. Like who you like no matter what!
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Name : Marcus, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 25, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Management, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m sure there is a much more primal element to this. I’ll date girls of other races, no problem, but plenty of guys (of all races) know, sometimes when you see a hot girl of your own race with a guy of another race, there can be a twinge of jealousy\anger\defensiveness. And I’ve been told the same can be just as true for women. Just natural feelings of competitiveness I guess.
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Name : Carl, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Richmond, State : VA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,as an asian dude, there’s a 20:1 ratio of asian gals who date white dudes vs. white gals who date asian dudes. it’s bad enough that there are white gals who don’t find asian guys attractive, it gets doubly bad when there are so many asian gals who categorically won’t date asian dudes either. it’s hard to explain how deep seated this anger/resentment can be. Just think about how big a part of your life dating/sexuality *really* is and imagine feeling a small bit of rejection everytime you see yet another asian gal / white guy combo. or everytime an asian gal tells you — matter-of-factly — that she doesn’t date asian guys. yep, neither of ’em are people you should want to date BUT, the numbers do eventually catch up to you.
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Name : jo30555, City : San Francisco, State : CA, Country : United States,I am happily married to my wife. She supports me in my descisions,and takes care of me just as I take care of her. All these things go past our race. I have never been happier, and have date all race groups. We’re people. We can not continue to judge others for who they decide is best for them. Do what you feel is best. To hell with anyone that thinks they have the ‘perfect’ ideaology.
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Name : Reda Pinkney, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Methodist, Age : 26, City : Woodbridge, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Production Supervisor, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,First of all why do you feel the need for minority men to approve of you interracial relationships? We aren’t you father. If you feel the need to date a white man then that is you business. But don’t put the minority man down in the process. It is many good black men out there that don’t get the respect because of stereotypes. If it is any minority men that disapprove it because of how the white man is viewed. He is seen as the better man and that isn’t always true. If you are doing it out of love then more power to you. But are doing because society tells you he is better. Then you are the one with the problem.
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Name : Vincent24844, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 36, City : Salisbury, State : NC, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Hate exist. It is apart of the world. When jealous and/or envy exist people search for a reason why they feel that way. Instead of admitting to their personality defects, they find an excuse like he is too short for her, she is too little for him, that sister needs to come home, or that brother is a sell out.
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Name : Mark-Jones22052, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : Joliet, State : IL, Country : United States,I wouldn’t mind if minority males are standing on a equal ground when competing with white males, but sometime, it’s not the case. I have seen many minority females ditching more qualified minotiry males for less-qualified white males. But again, I guess we can’t blame white males for not rejecting minority females when they throw themselves at them.
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Name : Eddie25578, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Taoist, Age : 22, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Students, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I can’t speak for other black men but, where I am concerned the anger stems from the fact that in general the type of black women that I would like to date only date white men. In case you are unable to discern from my previous statement the type of black woman I am looking for I will elaborate. I prefer black women who come from middle to upperclass families, are somewhat conservative in their plolitics, and do not display the stereotypical qualities found in popular media.
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Name : John R., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 31, City : las vegas, State : NV, Country : United States, Occupation : Account Executive, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,Many black woman are turning to white men and men of other races because there is a shortage of decent, stable, commitment minded black me available to black women. Most of the reasons you have stated for interracial relationships are reasons more commonly associated to why black men date white women. I am a black lady who have dated both and I prefer white men. I have always been more mentally and physically attracted to caucasian men.
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Name : Traci24216, City : Akron, State : OH, Country : United States,
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