Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 14 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 10 months ago by
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Why is it that men seem to hate asking for directions even if it is very clear they are lost?
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Name : Krista H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 28, City : Lapeer, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I believe the reason men don’t ask for directions is pride. Men feel like they have to lead, have everything under control and show no display of any incompetencies. So they feel as though asking for help is a blow to their egos. All it is is their male egos.
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Name : Moni20308, Gender : F, City : Ft. Myers, State : FL, Country : United States,I believe that by asking directions a man is admitting he is not in control. I know that for many men, not being in control is the same as saying ‘victimize me.’ I know that many men are taught by society that because they are men, they need to be in control. I think this is the same reason many men resist calling a repair person to fix a problem that they can’t fix. They don’t want to admit they can’t fix it.
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Name : David, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Tokyo, State : NA, Country : Japan, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I may be the gayest man ever, but I’ll tell you one thing: I don’t like to ask for directions. For one, it makes me look like I don’t know where I’m going (in my mind, stupid). Also, men like being in charge of situations, and to ask someone for help is a sign of weakness. That’s why whenever I go to a city that is unfamiliar to me, I always make sure I have the most detailed map possible. Always have a current map with you!
User Detail :
Name : Bill23263, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 30, City : Ft. Dodge, State : IA, Country : United States, Occupation : waiter, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Long story short: if you have enough time, fuel and a cell phone, don’t be averse to a little exploring. If you are in a developed country, the likelihood of becoming permanently lost and eaten by wolves is very low. Here are a few reasons why exploring is a good idea:
1) Being ‘lost’ is part of the experience of learning your way around a new area. If you don’t take advantage of the learning opportunity then you will just get lost the next time you come to the same place. It is an investment in the future to learn about a new place. Who knows, you might find something cool.
2) Women seem to assume that any random person at a gas station will know the area and be able to give good directions. In reality, many gas station attendants give lousy directions because they never go anywhere besides the gas station. Pumping gas doesn’t make somebody a cartographer.
3) The more you try to coerce us, the more we will refuse. The issue of resisting asking for directions may be part of a pattern in which the man feels that the woman belittles his abilities or opinions.User Detail :
Name : Edward25589, Gender : M, Age : 36, City : Nashville, State : TN, Country : United States,Many of us don’t like doing so because they’re often wrong! Locals in a big city will be used to idiosyncrasies that other locals would understand, so it’ll go over our heads. Even within L.A., it’s nearly impossible to get around in an unfamiliar area unless you have a Thomas Guide. If you go into a gas station in South Central and ask for directions, they’ll look at you funny and then tell you to buy something or get out. Or if you’re in the sticks, it’s: “Yup, just go 5 miles thataway, cut across the mud track, go 12 miles thar’away, hang west at th’ tractor….’
User Detail :
Name : Dan31703, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 24, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : grad student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Dan hit the nail on the head for me. Last few times I tried to stop and ask for directions, I often heard directions that were nearly impossible to remember or sometimes just dead wrong. I’d rather try to figure out things for myself using my sense of direction and a map than try to decypher the average set of directions from a stranger.
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Name : Matt-Cramer21995, Gender : M, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA, Country : United States,I don’t like asking directions because it makes me feel uncomfortable, also bad directions whether through innocence, ignorance, or malevolence are worse than being lost. These days I always get a map and directions online before heading out to an unknown destination.
User Detail :
Name : Mike McGrinder, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Bokonist, Age : 43, City : Davie, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Machinist, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,directions invariably are landmark-based steps to reach a destination. i think men need to understand the locale spatially and navigate direct. wandering around a little only helps to build-up that mental map. so asking for directions is like being a quitter.. we should all be lifelong learners? no?
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Name : hove21334, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 36, City : waltham, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : software engr, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If you are in the car with us, we cannot ask for directions. It would be showing you that we cannot take care of you and so you would leave us for the first guy with a map. I kow it sounds weird, but it is the subconcious result of our upbringing.
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Name : David, City : Tacoma, State : WA, Country : United States,One more reason: We don’t like to impose. Most men have been in the situation on the other side, of being asked directions. I suspect that men get asked directions more often than women, for the same reasons found above: men are supposed to be confident leaders and know where they are. We always resent the intrusion a lttle, but the worst part is that a lot of the time we can’t help. A few men will cover this by lying, but most of us simply aplogogize. In either case, it bothers us that we failed someone in need. I don’t want to put someone else through that when it’s not their fault that I’m lost. This is one of those Mars/Venus things where the male point of view may be completely alien to you.
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Name : Carl19228, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 34, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,No, seriously. Often, I try to get myself lost so that I’m forced to pay attention to the area, looking for familiar landmarks.
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Name : Michael20702, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : bi-curious (mostly straight), Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 20, City : Livingston, State : LA, Country : United States, Occupation : undergrad, Education level : 2 Years of College,Men (at least this one) don’t ask for directions because quite often the idiot you are asking knows less than you do (I’m supremely intelligent) and you still don’t get where you are going. I’m smart….I can read a map….I always have a map with me. I liken the situation to a remote control hog. When you have the remote….you are in control. When you are driving….you are in control. Asking for directions admits loss of control (something I will NEVER do). So get all Freudian on me and sign me off as ‘Control Freak in Philly’.
User Detail :
Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 43, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Designer, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class,how to get to my destination I ask and sometimes ask frequently. I think alot of people have a problem with admiting they don’t know something, but for me getting to my destination quickly is far more important. If I’m not sure of my route I’ll ask as many times as needed – get directions, forget part or unsure, stop ask again. On the flip side I suspect if someone was riding with me and started suggesting I ask for directions I’d get stubborn FAST.
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Name : John29191, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : Huntington, State : WV, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I’ve always wanted to discuss this. I never have heard so much crap about men and directions. My issues we’re the women who got the directions f’upped !! If I do get lost I will call or get directions if I’m in the vicinity. This is a fallacy that I think should be attributed to women – or is just the women I’ve been known to pick ????
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Name : Andrew, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 47, City : Parker, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Information Technology, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
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