Why does it freak so many people out when a family has a lot of children? Why do these people feel they can make gratuitous, condescending comments to or about the parents ('don't you know what causes that?' or 'you've had enough, now stop')? I could understand if the person were being called upon to help support these children (either directly or indirectly, e.g., welfare), but otherwise, whose business is it besides the parents? I suspect that a lot of it is fed by contempt for being outbred by a perceived undesirable 'other' group (ethnic, racial, religious, etc.).
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Name : Augustine23589, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 43, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, It is no one's business as long as the parents can support and provide adequate attention to their offspring. However, we all know that some people like to offer up their unsolicited opinions... I don't think the majority of the commenters are concerned with being outbred as much as they're making assumptions about the ability of the parents to care for their brood.
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Name : Sunny27764, Gender : F, Age : 24, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Why do they make these remarks? Because the world has far more people than it can handle, that's one reason. Look at how it is all garbaged-up. I think a couple should have no more than two children. This would equal zero population growth. Do we really NEED so many more people? The other day I read in the news that the United States will have more than 40 percent more people by the 2050. Think about that as well as the fact that these future generations will be breeding as well. Stop uncontrolled breeding and give the earth a break. I think another reason people make these comments is that people with large families seem sort of ignorant, like they are either brain-washed by religion, haven't figured out how to use birth control or are just too plain lazy to use it. A large number of offspring is also a public display of the parents' apparently very active sex life, which probably makes some people uncomfortable, as though the breeding pair has crossed some sort of line of decency.
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Name : Tara27426, Gender : F, Age : 31, City : Milwaukee, State : WI Country : United States, I don't think it's people freaking out, as much as people trying to be funny. In the United States we've gotten used to the idea of families having two children, three tops. When people see more than three kids, they make comments like 'Geez! Have a condom!' in an attempt to be funny. However, there are a lot of resentful people when it comes to people on welfare. People automatically think that the woman is doing nothing but sitting at home watching TV all day and having sex all night while they are busy working for their money. I can see their anger being justified if the situation is true, but a lot of times things are not what they appear. Maybe people are just jealous because they aren't getting any. Either way, they should keep the 'have a rubber' comments to themselves.
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Name : Taz27455, Gender : M, Age : 33, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, Except that everyone IS being called upon to help support those children. Families get tax breaks for having children which have to be paid for by the rest of society. Depending on the school district, society might be paying up to $100 a day for each child's education. These are public burdens. Then you get into resource consumption. When people talk about overpopulation, they assume the number of people is the problem; it's not. One American uses the same resources as 742 Ethiopians (source: U.S. State Department, 2001). Even a small family is an incredible burden on the world's resources, and a large one is morally indefensible. If these parents truly want to have a large family, they should look into adoption or foster care and turn that loving spirit into something that will help people rather than simply fulfill their selfish desires to pass down their seed.
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Name : Alex J., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 17, City : Elkins Park, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : High School student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Geez, Wisconsin will soon be unpopulated the way you two think. I believe mightily in the value of the human dynamic and if a family can afford to raise their large group of children without putting a burden on society or infringing upon their neighbor's 'food supply', more power to them. Procreating and contributing to the betterment of society by producing responsible and contributing members is a noble effort and a worthy cause. You can demonstrate for the reduction of the world's population by doing the same sex marriage thingy...but it won't be recognized by mainstream America as much as one big happy family.
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Name : Basil Moreau, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Consultant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, My problem with big families doesn't have anything to do with race or socio/economics, my problem is there are just too many ppl on this Earth, and we're destroying the rest of the Earth to try to support us. Those children will grow up to have more. I stopped supporting Mel Gibson for this reason. He seems to feel that as long as his wife can pop out babies, he should help make them. It takes more land to support the cattle industry than it does to support a vegetarian lifestyle. (look it up) Everyday more and more forest is destroyed so someone can graze their cattle, sheep, goats, what have you. There are charities on tv that ask for your money to help care for little kids that are supposedly starving. Why don't they teach about birth control or something else the ppl will understand? I've heard of a program where ppl were offered necessary items in exchange for having a vasectomy. Sounds like a good program. And to answer your question, no, I do not have children, and have never wanted them. Look at all the children that are dying or are orphaned by AIDS in Africa. Teach their parents about condoms or abstinence. Masturbation is the safest sex around, and doesn't get anyone pregnant.
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Name : Georgia, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : Human, Religion : Pagan, Age : 50, City : Springtown, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : nurse, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class, Did it ever occur to you that the groups that have a higher birth rate DONT use as much resources as the low birthrate ones? Think about all the groups we're talking about: Lower income, Black, Latino, American Indian, Asian, immigrant, Catholic, and poor white Protestants. None of those groups are known for conspicuous consumption the way well off white suburbanites do. None of them have giant lawns that suck up water and require lawnmowers, trimmers, hedgers, leafblowers, and sometimes outside labor just to show off the ugly useless things to their neighbors. Ever heard of the expression 'my Indian car'? It's what American Indians call the broken down used cars we keep running against all odds instead of buying the newest model of Hummers or Escalades every year like many suburbanites do. Mexicans eat beans and rice all the time, and we are not the target market for Starbucks or other environmental bullies. Having a large family is not morally indefensible, but living like it's OK to use the same resources as those 700 Ethiopians do definitely does make you what American Indians call a wasichu, literally a 'fat taker', someone who takes and never gives anything back. Most of the groups you decry as breeders have moral and religious philosophies against the consumption you decry, but guess who doesn't? It's far more likely to be someone of your background than mine. And don't forget the massive DEPOPULATION American Indians went through, 95% of us killed off. Until we are back to the 15 million there were of us in the US before wasichus got here, I'll have as many kids as I please.
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Name : ACC25134, Race : Mexican and American Indian, Religion : Catholic mixed with American Indian beliefs, City : San Antonio, State : TX Country : United States, I think it's unfair and in poor taste to assume that a large number of children is indicative of a family being on welfare. There are quite a number of people who, for reasons other than religion, want a large family. Perhaps they come from a large family and think that having a lot of siblings makes a childhood more enjoyable. On the flipside, maybe someone grew up as an only child and always wanted that special bond that siblings often share, and therefore vowed to have a large family. Maybe their kids are simply the best thing that ever happened to them, and they experience a greater and greater euphoria with each child they have. Maybe they simply opened their home to a bunch of orphans in order to make the world a better place (which was the theme of a book called 'The Family Nobody Wanted'). Regardless, it's certainly inappropriate to tell or even suggest to someone how many children they should have. I know that they do it in some parts of the world (eg, China), but it's sad to hear someone in America advocating the suspension of a fundamental right. I've met plenty of people from large families, and each of them has always emphasized how great it was and how they wouldn't have it any other way. On the other hand, I also know people who don't want kids; is it fair to ridicule them for not having any? What if they want kids but physically can't have any? In short, the reasons people choose or choose not to have a few children, lots of children or none at all are very personal and private and not fodder for public consumption or commentary.
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Name : Kevin26339, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 35, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Augustine, I can only respond with my personal experiences in this subject. When I have been informed by someone of their large family, I am actually in awe of it. Why? Well, I am a parent of 2 kids. 2 kids is enough to drive one insane, I cannot imagine having X many more kids. I am not judging the parents, rather I think about all of the work I have taking care of just 2 children. One can only imagine the time and energy involved in the raising of a large number of children. I also imagine the the large sum of money needed....how many proms, weddings, Christmas/birthday presents, college,organized activities etc. that will need to be paid for. I have never heard of anyone looking down upon people who are members of a large family. Most people are of normal (I know...what's normal?) sized families and figure the chaos involved with their 4-member family, must quadruple in an 8-member family. Try asking people why they react the way they do when learning of your family's size. I think you will surprised in the answers. Mike
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Name : Mike20446, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Franklin, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Stay-at-home father/farmer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, That would be because anyone who reads knows that global overpopulation is at the root of poverty, famine and just about every other ill plaguing society. Ecologists have been preaching since the 60's that in order to avoid a complete planetary disaster we need to slow down the population growth. Two children per couple, thus replacing yourself and your mate when you die, is considered by most educated people in the industrialized world to be the responsible way to approach reproduction. For this reason, my husband and I haven chosen to have only one child.
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Name : Emma25404, Gender : F, Age : 41, City : L.A., State : CA Country : United States, Social class : Upper class, Many of us who were young adults in the 60's and 70's believe the earth has limited resources and can not support an ever expanding population. A couple has the right to replace themselves but no more. A large family is using more than their share of what our planet has to offer. We see it as selfish and, perhaps, ignorant.
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Name : Michael Smith, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 61, City : Jacksonville, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Retired, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I think the basic reason people are offended by large families with several children is obviously overpopulation. The world's resources are quickly running out. Everything from land to gas and even water is becoming scarce. Not to mention waste and polution. These problems are all directly related to population. In the olden days, several children were needed to help with the day to day survival of the entire family (eg-to help on the farm) but thanks to advances in technology, those days are over. It doesn't take a mathematician to figure out how quickly populations can and due increase exponentially. Take for instance a large family who has eight children. If each of these children has eight children, the number starts growing at a huge rate in only a few generations (this number becomes over sixteen million in only eight generations). The earth is very close to reaching it's carrying capacity and we continue to plunder the seas of all the fish and poison everything else with industrial waste, not to mention the greenhouse gasses. People like to place blame for these problems anywhere they can (eg.-capatalism, oil industry, automobiles, ect.) but the bottom-line problem is overpopulation. More people should adopt a lifestlye of zero population growth (two people have two kids and so on)or there is going to be no more world left for anybody to enjoy.
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Name : Dan Roberts, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 31, City : Santa Rosa, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : security, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I've always thought that people who made those comments were annoyed that parents with large families were able to successfully manage several children while they struggle to manage one or two. Parenting any child requires a tremendous amount of work, both physical and mental. Perhaps some can't understand why anyone would willingly give up that much time and money.
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Name : Rada Lewis, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 38, City : overland park, State : KS Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I admit that large families freak me out. My son-in-law is one of 11, and his brother has 10 children. They are Mormon, but I am not worried about being 'outbred' by this 'other' group. You say it is their business how many children they have, but overpopulation in general and school overcrowding in particular is everyone's business. I think my biggest shudder about large families, however, comes from putting myself in their position and imagining how chaotic their lives are compared to mine. The more children, the more chance for birth defects, behavior problems, financial stress, and on and on. I don't understand why people don't just quit while they're ahead rather than play the odds that they're going to have a happy, successful family even as it grows larger and larger and demands more time and resources.
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Name : Andrea, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : Tacoma, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Editorial freelancer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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