Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 10 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 24 years, 10 months ago by
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My wife is Asian and I’m white. We returned to our car in a large parking lot recently and found a note on our windshield calling my wife some names and saying we shouldn’t be married. We both felt there was an implicit idea that she, being Asian, is ‘below’ me. It’s suddenly more noticeable that the suburbs outside Boston are so white. We are rethinking our choice of where to live. Does anyone know of Asian-friendly and/or intermarriage-friendly communities?
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Name : Tye, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Cambridge, State : MA, Country : United States,I live in Boston and work in Cambridge, and I found this to be disturbing. My boyfriend is white and I am an African-American female. This sounds like some simpleton making trouble. There are lots of ‘friendly’ communities in our area. But, there are always troublemakers. Try to ignore it, but if things get tough, Jamaica Plain, Dorchester-Milton, Randolph and Newton are my suggestions.
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Name : Samm28281, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 35, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Asst., Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m very surprised this happened to you in Cambridge, a mecca of diversity. I don’t think you should move because of one incident if you are happy where you live, though. Quincy (south of Boston) has a high Asian population if you’re looking at such things, however.
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Name : Roxanne29498, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : European-American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I live in Corvallis, Ore. I have a friend who is Asian who is married to a white man. She has lived here many years and has told me she has never experienced racism or discrimination here. I am friendly with several other Asian people who are very happy living here. There is a sizable Asian population here and in the larger cities in Oregon – Portland, Eugene and Salem. Unfortunately, I can’t report the same news for black people. Blacks in Corvallis have reported numerous cases of discrimination.
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Name : Caren19225, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Corvallis, State : OR, Country : United States,I live in California and come from a very racially mixed family – mostly Mexicans and Caucasians with a few Filipinos and Asians – and we have never had problems with racism. Of course, there are always a few ignorant people around, but they are easy to ignore. I also have family members throughout the Southwest (Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado) and they haven’t had any problems, either. I think the key is to find areas with significant percentages of people of color where people do not choose to segregate themselves from other ethnic groups.
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Name : Lucy-H22365, Gender : F, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 25, City : San Jose, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College,I, too, am surprised that this happened in Cambridge, which I’ve always found to welcome diversity. I live in Farmington, Maine, and I don’t think you’d find any trouble here. It has often occurred to me that it seems as if Caucasian male/Asian female marriages are barely noticed around here anymore. I can think of families in which there are Caucasian men and wives from Guam, the Phillipines, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, China, Korea and Japan, just off the top of my head, and this in a town of about 6,000!
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Name : Andrea K., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 40, City : Farmington, State : ME, Country : United States, Occupation : teacher/musician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,Since you are living in Cambridge, you can move to either Quincy, Brighton or Allston. There are more Asians living there. I think that can help.
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Name : JC31138, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States,It is surprising that you experienced that sort of behavior in Cambridge. I’d like to say just rack it up to ignorance and someone with a grudge. You don’t know who wrote this note — it might not have even been someone from that area, it could have been some drunk guy who was spurned by an Asian girl at some point. However, if you do continue experiencing issues — which I sure hope you don’t — try Brighton/Allston, Kenmore Square and South End/Back Bay. I would probably tend to stay away from areas that are primarily one ethnicity, like Quincy, because you might experience discrimination from the other side. The neighborhoods I mentioned above are rather diverse.
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Name : Stacey, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jehovahs Witness, Age : 28, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,How unfortunate ‘elevator syndrome’ drives you out of a community you were happy in. This relates to an anecdote I once heard. In a busy office building there was a woman who called out a cheery ‘Good Morning!’ when getting on the elevator every day. For 90 days she made everyone smile and had good experiences. On the 91st day somebody snorted ‘What’s so good about it?’ She never said Good Morning again. How many good experiences does it take to outweigh one bad one? Can one bad experience be extrapolated to a whole community? Consider the source. Is it right to hand that loser power over your finances, to make you move and change jobs? Call the police, don’t look at your neighbors funny, thinking they share those thoughts.
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Name : Lynnette H., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 40+, City : Wauwatosa, State : WI, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,My wife was born and raised in Poland, and we were married there. At the time of our marriage, I was living in the northern Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.C., which are overwhelmingly white, conservative and affluent with a strong military influence, kind of like an East Coast version of Orange County, Calif. I received several unsolicited comments about how our marriage was somehow ‘unpatriotic’ and contrary to love of country, as well as comments that ours must have been a sham ‘green card’ marriage. I was angered by this but not terribly surprised, as northern Virginia can be pretty intolerant to those who do not fit the white ‘Ozzie and Harriet’ norm. We do not encounter anything like this in South Carolina, and people accept us just as we are. Both of us are now U.S. citizens, and Old Glory flies proudly beside our front door.
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Name : Augustine23553, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 40, City : Columbia, State : SC, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Come to Columbia, Md., arguably one of the most thoroughly intergrated and diverse communities in the country. This roughly 35-year-old ‘new town’ of about 110,000 is midway between Baltimore and Washington, D.C. It was conceived and built by the late James Rouse (of shopping mall fame across the East Coast) and was created and advertised as a racially ‘open city.’ I came to Columbia in 1971 mostly because of this and found it an oasis of racial harmony and decency in the sea of racism and bigotry that so infested the surrounding Baltimore-D.C. megalopolis at that time. Things have improved consderably in many of the surrounding areas during the last 35 years, but Columbia remains the hub of diversity in the area. It has been a rewarding place to live. It is worth noting, however, that our country has a history of profound racism. And while the situation is slowly improving, chances are very slim that you will find any place in this country that is void of racism.
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Name : I. Moses., Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, City : Columbia, State : MD, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,
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