Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 7 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 11 months ago by
.
- Posts
All my life I have been searching (more or less actively) for what I believe in and a form of religion that felt right to me. My family is Catholic, but I always had great doubts about many of the Church’s teachings and practices. My mom has been fairly open-minded, but for my father, openly questioning my faith was never an option. His parents are also very strict Catholics, more active in practice than my father, so I have never raised any questions with them because I fear it would break their hearts. Over the past few months, I have been attending a Quaker meeting, and for the first time I feel really comfortable in a religious setting and very much in concordance with their beliefs and practices. I believe I have found my niche. I have told my mom and she is happy for me and has offered to speak with my father about it for me. I am scared about telling my father; the other night I dreamed he found out that I had chosen another religion and was enraged and upset. Does anyone have suggestions on how to tell my father and grandparents, or has anyone faced similar circumstances before with their family?
User Detail :
Name : Shelly, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Quaker, Age : 25, City : Pittsburgh, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : research, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Tell him that you love him and that you will always love him. Tell him that you have been searching and have found meaning in your new church home. Tell him you are happy. Don’t try to convert anybody or put your beliefs up as more correct than theirs. Respect the beliefs of your parents as valid and don’t distance yourself from them. After that, it is their choice whether to respect and love you. You have to be true to yourself. Pray for wisdom. I have lived a similar situation, and as I view it, the tree has many branches. The meaning of religion is ‘binding together.’ Any religion or expression of religion that has the opposite effect is questionable in my mind.
User Detail :
Name : Jeff31188, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 46, City : San Antonio, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : HR Professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I believe in a religion different from my parents. I know that if they knew, they would be heartbroken and angry. I have chosen not to tell them because A) It would drive a deep wedge in a currently excellent relationship B) I don’t feel that my spiritual beliefs are any of their business, and C) I don’t attend religious services of any kind, so my beliefs are truly privately held, so I don’t feel a need to tell people who don’t understand them. Sometimes I feel that I may be a coward and a hypocrite about this matter, but I know that my silence is preventing a lot of harm. I’m not saying that I recommend my choice, just that I wanted to share this with you. Good luck to you. I don’t think your wish to tell your father is wrong, just that you should be prepared for fallout if you tell him.
User Detail :
Name : Caren, Gender : F, City : Corvallis, State : OR, Country : United States,As a Lesbian, I’m quite familiar with the many ways to enrage, disappoint, and sadden catholics. The religion is fairly rigid, as you know. As a deep believer, your father will probably think a) that you’re going to Hell, b) that you reject his place as head of the house, c) that you’re an embarassment at church, and d) that if you get married and have children, his grandchildren will also go to Hell unless he saves them. That is to say that if those are his beliefs, he’s a fairly standard catholic person. What’s variable is his personal relationship with you. Would he be happy that you’re going to church — any church? Does he talk about his beliefs as personal feelings, or by using biblical verses? Does he toe the party line of the Church Fathers in other respects, or does he seem to have his own opinions? ‘Use your judgement, and let your conscience be your guide.’
User Detail :
Name : Megan-L21937, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 32, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I am also a different religion from my parents and most of my siblings (I am an athiest, they are very conservative christians). I let them slowly become aware that I had different beliefs. My sisters and brother knew before my parents. It was and still sometimes is hard to go home as religion is a major part of my family. But it has gotten easier over the decades. And I never felt they rejected me, just my beliefs. That is, they seem to conciously think that I have no beliefs, but never the less, act as if I do. And, of course, I do have very stong, but personal beliefs.
User Detail :
Name : Alice Drew, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 54, City : Bethesda, State : MD, Country : United States,everyone has a far different belief structure than did their parents… this is because we see what they have displayed in our presence and we apply our own judgments and values based on what we learn from them… why would your parents be so concerned that you have a difficult time agreeing with a single church as long as they could find the warmth that you do in fact have a form of faith that drives you and keeps you alive. if there was any single CORRECT church… why do we have so many different religions in this world?
User Detail :
Name : George, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : other? like asexual midgets?, Disability : pleez, Race : n/a, Religion : please specify, Age : 25, City : Pontiac, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class,If they believe in God the creator and you also believe in God, they should be happy. If your father loves you, he should let you live the life that makes you happy. Sometimes we need to show our parents.
User Detail :
Name : E.E., Gender : F, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,to be blunt right up front i don’t really date, but i’m not a monogamist. i am bisexual. so being said is this something i should tell my family.
User Detail :
Name : melanie l youngblood, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : owensboro, State : KY, Country : United States, Occupation : disability, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.