Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 9 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 16 years ago by
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My fiancée told me shortly before our wedding that I was not the ‘man’ who could fulfill her sexually. This has been quite a controversy in our relationship. She has since admitted to me that she didn’t marry me because of my sexual abilities (endowment), and I believe it was due to this openness that our sex life now suffers so badly. I can’t seem to feel “man” enough to satisfy her, and constantly beat myself up in thought and action. I have done all I can to please her. I’ve read books, got advice from friends, sought help through the use of toys and lubes, and all have done nothing. I know if I feel like a man I’ll treat her like one. But how? Will only a $30-$50,000 surgery fix the problem?
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Name : Jim, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, City : boulder, State : CO, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,This seems like the beginning of the end, homie. I think it’s time to start looking for a way out. If you cannot satisfy her, she will find someone who can. Have you bought the hand-held toys for her pleasure? This may work, or maybe brushing up on your oral technique. I must state I never have had a problem in this arena but I worry for your sake. While I was in basic training we had community showers and a lot of people stared with amazement and asked a lot of questions. They developed low self-esteem from what they saw, and that was silly. I think you should be content with what you have. When life gives you lemons make lemonade.
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Name : Jim-J28947, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : African Methodist Episcopalian, Age : 30, City : Columbus, State : OH, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Yes, yes, and yes! every resource has been explored to its end. We, my wife and I, have discussed it and have come to the colclusion that it will not continue on after we’ve waisted so much effort of correcting the messed-up situation. I’ve done as much ‘brushing-up’ as one can; toys, lubes, books, and anything else that may help the situation just short of allowing her to go out and have a little fun with some other guy somewhere else. Which she has explored up to actually going into his hotel room. I thought for a moment in hope, though at this point i only have hope out of habit, that all this could and would come to a point where it would be corrected. Maybe Hypnosis, Tantra (though I think of this as mystical nonsense but would give it a try) and any other thing that I can think of. Religion has no say in this, a church-goer would typically tell me to pray more, a pastor would say my faith is not storng enough, a priest would laugh. And again, I agree with what was said previously, it is the begginning of the end. I’ve been stalling but I guess it must stop somehow, as much as I hate to damage our childrens lives we cannot live through lies. We must live in freedom. Thank you for your response, I just wish you had some miracle cure. None exhists.
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Name : Jim, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, City : boulder, State : CO, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,First one must ask, exactly what she meant by ‘fulfill her sexually’ and what you think a ‘man’ is. If her ‘fulfillment’ is dependent upon the endowment of her partner, then I feel very sorry for her. My own husband is not exactly huge but he is quite able to bring me to orgasm. Yeah, sometimes I wish there was more to work with, but sex isn’t just about the act itself especially in a marriage. It’s about affection and intimacy as well as the fun stuff. I’m sure you’ve heard all the advice about prolonged foreplay, erogenous zones, and the like. Those are some of the tricks my husband uses that really rev my engine. Part of that is because intercourse is not the sum and total of our sex life. Perhaps a better question would be why a concerned, loving, creative partner isn’t enough to ‘satisfy’ this woman. Have you ever thought that maybe it isn’t you?
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Name : Mara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 40, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : data entry, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,As a female I would like to state for the record that the size of a man’s penis DOES matter but not nearly as much as his technique. Guys who are very well endowed seem to think that by the virtue of their penis size they will always be good in bed and that all they have to do is keep it hard and keep ramming her and she should be in heaven. Again I’m a female here and I know that this lack of technique just hurts. On the other hand I had a boyfriend whom I wouldn’t have intercourse with partly because of his penis size. He has an inch and a half fully erect. I had no idea how he was going to keep a condom on, so no sex. BUT his small size make him perfect for oral sex and I was perfectly happy making him orgasm three times in one date. Penis size is not the most important thing in a sexual relationship, finding out what your partner likes and wants is. I was engaged to a guy for about three years before we finally broke up and we didn’t have sex for about a year and half before we did. The reason: He couldn’t or wouldn’t do what I needed in bed. He had very low self esteem and probably thought that everything he did was wrong, that made him timid and nothing I did could cure him of that. I need a guy who can have sex with me without me having to initiate anything. I can’t stand a guy who asks if we can have sex, just freakin’ start something and if I say no well I hate to admit this but if you’re in a solid stable relationship sometimes no means ‘no’ and sometimes no ‘means try harder to convince me’. Technique is everything, confidence is everything; if you honestly think it’s your penis size go buy an extention (they look like penises with a condom rolled around them) or a strap on (they make them for guys with erectile dysfunction) and use it without telling her you’re going to and see what her response is. However from personal experience I can tell you (and I honestly think that this is your problem) that gentle lovemaking is great every now and then, but most women like it rough at least sometimes. Hope this helps.
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Name : Bethany19541, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Mutt, Age : 24, City : Davison, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Technician, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Wow. Let me get this straight. Your wife tells you that you are not satisfying her sexually. You not only LISTEN to her, you take total blame for this ‘problem’ and try everything in your power to please her. These are not the actions of an immature individual or a frat boy; this is a MAN trying to take action! Dude, please DO NOT think that you are not a man because you are not currently able to satisfy your woman. You guys—and I say ‘you guys’ as in ‘you and your wife,’ because it takes two to tango, so this is her problem, too —are having a rough patch. Some couples have rough patches in other areas, such as finances or how to raise the kids. This should not make you feel stupid, ashamed, or embarrassed. Every couple has trouble adjusting to their new life together. Now, as to solving your little problem, have you tried asking her what, exactly, she wants? Most women have trouble expressing their ‘bedroom’ needs; they find it embarrassing. Or, if that doesn’t work, try a professional, and by that I mean a sex therapist.
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Name : Katie28949, Gender : F, City : Lexington, State : KY, Country : United States,my advice is leave this shallow, cold-hearted woman. you deserve better than that…someone who loves you as you are. that’s what’s important.
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Name : Kelly, Gender : F, Age : 28, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You said once you feel like a man you’ll treat her like one. Does that mean you’d likely punch her in the eye and make her do dishes? Preferably not. Some things that may help in your need to feel “manly” may start as simply as starting a physical fitness regimen. Boosting your activity will boost your testosterone, give you confidence, relieve anxiety and help you on your way to greater stamina and ability during intercourse as well. Don’t be afraid to take charge… don’t think that this is all about her. When you are enjoying yourself, she will be more likely to enjoy herself as well. Go crazy with it, try something you have’t tried before. Don’t psych yourself out over if she’s being satisfied or not.. the fate of the world does not lie on her orgasm. Relax. Being comfortable in your ability to be yourself — thats what a true man is.
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Name : Steven, Gender : Male, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,Dude, DUMP THAT B___H!!! And find a woman that you CAN satisfy!
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Name : KofiM, City : Jersey City, State : NJ, Country : United States,
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