Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 6 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 25 years, 3 months ago by
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To gays, lesbians and bisexuals: How did you know you were gay? I’m not sure whether I am or not. I am definitely attracted to girls, but sometimes I start thinking about guys I see and guys I know.
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Name : Matt, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 15, City : Arlington, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : High School Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,That’s an interesting question you pose. Usually it comes from a disappointed family member who’s trying to convince you that maybe you’re not really gay if you haven’t had a same-sex relationship. I always thought men were attractive, and I still do, but the distinction for me is that I have no interest in having a sexual relationship with them. I still get the angry guys telling me I would be straight if I had a night with them or that I just need the right man, but I’ve already found the right woman. “Attraction” is a tricky thing. You can be attracted to a lot of different people, but what you do about it is a tough question. I know many gays who, when they first came to terms with their sexuality, thought they were bisexual, just like I did, but then I realized more and more that I was far more attracted to women, and that outweighed any feeling I had toward men. I love men, I just don’t “love” men! You are still young. Don’t panic about needing to know exactly who you are right now. I was 16 when I had my first girlfriend. It was a total secret, and she even continued to see guys because she was afraid of what people would think. Even after all that, it still took me six years after my relationship ended to admit to myself that I was gay. Things will start to come into perspective little by little. Hang in there!
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Name : Jen31002, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Orlando, State : FL, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,For me, it was an intense feeling, both mental and physical, of wanting to be close to certain people, and those people were of the same sex. I found females attractive and appreciated the friendships we had, but the attraction toward guys was such a unique feeling that I realized I also wanted to be with them physically. I wish you the best as you grow through your understanding of yourself. Always be true to yourself and you will find your way.
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Name : Matthew, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,I had my first big crush on a girl when I was 12. But it wasn’t until I was 20 that I figured out I was a lesbian. It’s different for everyone; eventually the answer will be very clear. Don’t let anyone tell you that being gay is all about sex. That’s what straight people like to think because it’s the only thing that separates ‘us’ from ‘them.’ Being gay is about who you connect with in a way that feels natural. It’s about who you want to share your life with. Take your time and don’t pressure yourself into feeling any certain way. And if you need help sorting things out, try to find an open-minded adult to listen to your feelings. Also, take advantage of Internet resources; that’s something I wish had been available when I was questioning my own sexual identity.
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Name : Jenna, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 29, City : Salt Lake City, State : UT, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,It took me a long time to accept myself. I tried to have heterosexual relationships with men. I think now that the reason for that was that I was afraid of what other people would think of me and I knew my parents would disapprove. So I spent many years thinking about having intimate relationships with other women but not acting on my feelings. As time went on (several years) I found my feelings becoming more intense and the fear less of an issue. I am a successful self confident woman now despite my insecurity when I was younger. Now I have experienced several relationships with women and there is clearly no doubt where my feelings are centered. I live with a wonderful woman and we are very happy together. My family had some difficulty with my coming out at first but we have been communicating although it is rocky at times. Go at your own pace. Your feelings will guide you.
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Name : Lisa22824, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 36, City : Bradley, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Artist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I thought about this type of question also for a while until I realized one very important thing: I didn’t want to actually have sex with girls. For me, right before and during high school, I would find both guys and girls attractive, but I pushed away the feelings I had for guys. Yet I honestly realized that I would have rather been with a guy than a girl. You just have to be careful and know your feelings. You may just form bonds with guys, and mistake that for attractiveness. I did the same thing with girls. But you’ll know, eventually, what you’re really feeling.
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Name : Albert, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Cleveland, State : OH, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Growing up in the late ’60s and early ’70s, I fought who I was, wanting to fit in with the heterosexuals I was surrounded by. Eventually I came to accept I was a lesbian, and today I am out and proud. Don’t rush it. Listen to your feelings. I finally knew that no matter who I liked, it was a woman I wanted to spend my life with.
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Name : Catherine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Federal Way, State : WA, Country : United States,
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