Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 6 months ago by
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To people in wheelchairs: Is it appropriate for someone to ask if you need assistance? Is it patronizing for someone to ask you, “May I get the door for you?” I recognize that the answer will probably depend on the individual and the circumstance, but I’m hoping for some guidelines.
Original Code D23. Click here to see responses from the original archives. Click “to respond” below to reply.User Detail :
Name : Kim-S26349, City : Tempe, State : AZ, Country : United States,God, I wish more people would ask if asking is OK. I do a lot of teaching – children, adults, businesses, etc. about disabilities and appropriate and acceptable behavior. I don’t mind when people ask, as long as they accept my answer (“Can I get the door for you?” “No, Thanks. Got it.”). But when my choice is taken away, that’s when you don’t want to mess with me…
Picture this: I am small and use a wheelchair, and drive a very big van. People see me. They see me get out of the van, yet they ask if they can help me. Sometimes I want to say “Yeah, you can change my oil.” Get the picture?
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Name : Maria-J-C22220, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : use wheelchair, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 31, City : Bridgewater, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,My husband is in a wheelchair because he is missing both of his legs above the knee. He always appreciates polite offers for assistance. However, more often than not he is apt to decline. Balance is always an issue for him and an untrained wheelchair operator could easily tip him out of his chair. There are certain ways to safely get up and down curbs and to travel across rough terrain. Because I am aware that some people have concerns about being knocked out of their chairs, I always follow an offer for assistance with the fact that I have been trained to use one. This seems to help put people at ease. I believe that it never hurts to ask. If someone is offended by your genuine, respectful attempt to be helpful that is their problem not yours.
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Name : Heather21466, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 33, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Go ahead and make the offer. In my case, I often say no to such offers; but I do appreciate the thought. What gets on my nerves is when help is extended without an offer (which can be somewhat unnerving – say I’m leaning on a door to open it, and suddenly it’s not there to lean on) or if the offerer gets pushy (‘Can I help you? Are you sure? It’s really no trouble.’) or goes ahead and offers help despite my assurances that I don’t need help. But there are times when assistance will be accepted. And again, even when we say no, the offer is usually appreciated.
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Name : M.G., Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 19, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
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