Gays and their parents

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 30 total)
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  • #41673

    Sandra28302
    Participant

    I am a lesbian and I have had no problems with my father. He didn’t abuse me. He is a good man. My love for women has nothing to do w/ dislike for men..my father in particular.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Sandra28302, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : Black/African American, Age : 32, City : Columbus, State : OH, Country : United States, 
    #28403

    Ryan
    Member

    I am not homosexual, but I did spend a weekend last month with a group of 150+ men and women who are (or WERE–some had already come out of the lifestyle). I also have one very close friend who is attracted to the same-sex. All of these people (or at least the ones I spoke with) either had a poor relationship with their same-sex parent or had experienced some form of sexual abuse in their youth (or BOTH). To argue that this is merely coincidence would be ridiculous. Some might argue that many people have poor relationships with their same-sex parents and yet they are still heterosexual. This is true, but it doesn’t change the fact that a poor relationship with a same-sex parent can have a profound impact on sexuality. Human beings are very complex creatures that are affected by BOTH their environment and their biology. Some people will not become homosexuals if they have a poor relationship with their same-sex parent…but, in the same way, some smokers will never develop lung cancer. A poor relationship with a same-sex parent puts a person at an increased risk for developing a same-sex attraction, but it does not guarantee it. The fact remains, though: talk to people who are either in (or have been in) the gay community. There will always be exceptions to the rule, but the majority will tell you that they either had a poor relationship with a same-sex parent, or were sexually abused. The testimonies of all the homosexuals I have interacted with support this.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Ryan, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Hartford, State : CT, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, 
    #29960

    Louise22595
    Participant

    To educate myself about this issue, I read ‘Restoring Sexual Identity’ by Anne Paulk and also saw Sy Rogers story on video. He’s at http://www.Syrogers.com Both of these resources were insightful concerning how childhood relationships affect sexual orientation.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Louise22595, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 53, City : Plymouth Meeting, State : PA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #17768

    Betty
    Member

    (Paraphrased from a Discover Magazine article about a long-term study) When a woman is pregnant with a child, she shares her blood supply with him/her. Late in pregnancy or afterwards (this time frame varies), her body creates antibodies against her child’s blood cells. Sometimes this can cause anemia in the child, sometimes nothing happens, and sometimes homosexuality (in males, at any rate) results. These antibodies can lead to a lower birth weight and affect the part of the 3rd interstitial nucleus of the anterior hypothalamus, or INAH-3, which controls sexual orientation. The INAH-3 in homosexual men resembles those of straight women. Homosexual men tend to have at least one older brother, which I think could mean that different antibodies are produced in response to different sexes. While this study only accounted for homosexual males, there might be some correlation between its findings and homosexuality in females. It does lend support to the belief that homosexuality is not something that’s determined by one’s upbringing.

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    Name : Betty, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Asian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 17, City : Medford, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #39689

    Dennis-M
    Participant

    If the original presumption were correct, would that imply the bisexual people coouldn’t deal with either parent ?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Dennis-M, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Disability : Paralyzed, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 59, City : Albany, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #27180

    Throughout my life I feel that I had a healthy and normal relationship with my parents. I battled my homosexuality for years and didn’t really come out until I was around 35 after being married and having a child and doing life the ‘straight’ way. I strongly believe, and I think this is being more and more supported by genetic science, that homosexuality is not a choice but something that occurs possibly in the womb of the mother prior to giving birth. Perhaps one of these days it can be isolated to a gene or a hormonal influence. I can remember as a toddler noticing and being more responsive socially to men rather than women. I think we humans have about as much influence over our sexual orientation as we do our eye color. I have never felt that the way my parents raised me had anything to do with it. I have a brother four years younger who is as heterosexual as they come and we were basically raised the same way in a very conventional middle class family with two loving parents.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Bob Stanley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 61, City : San Diego, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Retired Naval officer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #18229

    Brian
    Member

    Its not having problems with the other gender in the family unit, it’s having closer relationships to someone else of the same gender. For example, my late uncle would never say no to spending time with me or be too busy to play games with me unlike my parents who would constantly promise me simple activities (like fishing for an hour or two on a saturday). My late uncle would always follow through with what they promised though; so my mind has wired the feeling of care and the feelings of importance he gave me with what to look for in a significant other. It just so happens my late uncles name was Billy, and my boyfriend has the same name.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Brian, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Disability : ADHD (According to the marines, its a disability), Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 18, City : Minnetrista, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Ice Cream Scooper (part time), Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25575

    Conley
    Member

    This is an interesting question that I have given much thought. First, I am gay. Second, I was raised in a very religious (non-denominational charismatic) home with a stong mother. Third, I am a middle child. Fourth, I am extremely analytical. Lastly, I have been engaged TWICE (to a female). That said, there are three recognized spheres relating to sexual orientation: biological, envirnmental and personal choice. All three have some impact, and I personally believe, the influence by each is individualized. I believe it would be difficult to argue that any one factor is ‘the’ factor; a higher contributor, quite possibly. I have read many articles including ones showing different brain patterns and connections for gays, different hearing ranges, etc. Therefore, genetics must be a factor. I know people that were raped as children, fit the strong parent/weak parent mold, or the strong religious upbring mold. Therefore, envirnment must be a factor. I know people that choose to get married rather than have a male partner, and I know people that have chosen to have a male partner over the traditional family. Therefore, choice must be a factor. Emperical evidence is starting to show more and more people have a one-time, same-sex event before going back to the ‘straight’ life. Clearly they made a choice. Even someone that is ‘born gay’ makes a choice and has been impacted by his/her envirnment. Bioligical factors overode the others. If you ask 100 people, each will have a different answer. Probably because each person has different genetics, envirnment and choice. Sorry for the lack of brevity, and remember this is MY OPINION. No hate mail from either side, please.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Conley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Non-denominational Charismatic, Age : 31, City : Dallas, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Finance, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 
    #29731

    Matt T.
    Participant

    Yes, as gays we often (but not always) have problems with our parents, but I think you have the cause and effect relationship backwards. I’m not gay because I had problems with my parents, I had some problems with my parents because they didn’t want me to be gay. I was an effeminate child which bothered my parents and often caused tension. Through patience and education, they learned that my sexual orientation was as much a part of me as my race, or height, or eye color, or a myriad of other things out of our control that make us who we are.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Matt T., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Valley Village, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #25432

    Donnybrook26568
    Participant

    I’d have to disagree with you not in your assertion that homosexuality is an orientation, but instead with your claim that a bad home experience -can’t- be a leading cause in homosexual behavior. Paedophilia ia at heart a sexual orientation (i.e. you can’t help but be attracted to children; this is not in _anyway_ an endorsement of paedophilia), and yet many psychologists would say that paedophilia is (or at least can be)a result of child abuse. To say that a traumatic experience can’t rewire someone is borderline ignorant; the mind has many ways to deal with trauma, and unless you’re a doctor of neuroscience, i don’t think you can make such a definitive claim without citing sources.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Donnybrook26568, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Minneapolis, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #36403

    C
    Member

    Not at all. In fact, I was closer to my father than to my mother.

    User Detail :  

    Name : C, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 18, City : St. John's, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, Social class : Middle class, 
    #25754

    Andy21942
    Participant

    Growing up my mom and I actually got a long very well. It wasn’t until I ‘came out’ that things tended to go down hill. Now don’t get me wrong I still love my mom, but at the sametime I’ve grown to accept the fact that we won’t always see eye to eye on things.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Andy21942, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Birmingham, State : AL, Country : United States, 
    #16587

    Brendan M.
    Participant

    Generally, no. This is another myth. From what I’ve learned from my psych. course(s) in college so far, sexual orientation is unrelated to parenting and upbringing. I have always had a perfectly normal, healthy relationship with both my parents.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Brendan M., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 19, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
    #20420

    GordonR
    Member

    I’m a gay man and I love my mom. And she loves me.

    User Detail :  

    Name : GordonR, City : Salt Lake City, State : UT, Country : United States, 
    #21269

    kevinlee
    Member

    I love my mother and i mean my mother or father had nothing to do with my sexuality or my sexual preference

    User Detail :  

    Name : kevinlee, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Murray, State : KY, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
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