[Young-White-Woman]

My Hispanic boyfriend dislikes using a fork to eat his food. Instead, he tears up tortillas and uses them to pinch food from his plate. Today he ate an entire plate of rice with tortillas without bothering to bring a fork to the table. He also smacks his lips and chews with his mouth open. Why does he do this … and why does it bother me so much?
Original Code R599. Click here to see responses from the original archives. Click “to respond” below to reply.

User Detail :  

Name : Young-White-Woman, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : N/A, State : NA, Country : N/A, 

[Hispanic-by-marriage]

None of the responses so far came from any Hispanics. My husband’s answer to this was “because that is how it is done – that is what the tortilla was made for.” For centuries, people have eaten with the tortilla by ripping it into smaller pieces and pinching the food. Nothing tastes better than homemade rice and beans eaten with a tortilla. Your boyfriend has probably eaten this way all his life, and this is how he is comfortable. Manners must fit the situation. We eat this way when we have chorizo and eggs at home, and we eat with the proper fork when we are in a restaurant.

User Detail :  

Name : Hispanic-by-marriage, Gender : F, City : Aurora, State : CO, Country : United States, 

[Marugada]

The noises at the table sound like a lack of manners to me – something any person of any ethnic group can suffer from.

As for the tortillas, well, tortillas are simply a big part of our meals. We do eat some foods with utensils because some foods are simply hard to eat with tortillas, but for the most part, tortillas are a very common option. So relax; when it comes to distinguishing between which is appropriate, I’m sure your boyfriend will understand that over that candlelit dinner on your big night out, his dinner salad will not be served with a side of tortillas! And if he doesn’t get it, be gentle and explain. Sometimes we all need to be reminded of appropriate table manners (I still sometimes forget how to distinguish between the salad fork and the dessert fork!). to MIGUEL: your ‘guess’ is offensive. working class?! how about culture?!

User Detail :  

Name : Marugada, Gender : F, Race : Latina, Age : 30, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States, 

[Aztlan]

I was raised in a humble Mexican home and although none of my relatives were “Albaniles,” we did (and I still do) use the tortilla as a utensil. We didn’t chew with our mouths open or make noises; that’s just plain lack of manners. Of course, when I am in a restaurant and/or around people I believe don’t understand this concept, I (for their sake) avoid doing it. I don’t believe using a tortilla as a utensil is not having table manners. To us it’s as normal as using a fork (tastes better, though).

User Detail :  

Name : Aztlan, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Kenmore, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

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