Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 11 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 24 years ago by
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I know the question sounds really silly, but it’s been bugging me for a while. There is an accepted understanding that the size of a man’s penis doesn’t ‘really’ matter in giving sexual pleasure to a woman – that it is ‘what you do with it’ that really counts. Now, listening to some female friends’ opinions regarding this subject, I have come to the conclusion that there is perhaps some amount of hypocrisy in this ‘officially’ accepted truth. What some women say is that yes, obviously such things as affection, attention to the needs of the partner, sexual technique in foreplay, etc. count most, but in the end, taken all this for granted, a bigger penis does give more pleasure, one, because it makes a woman feel more ‘filled’, and two, on a physical but also on a psychological level it gives her a sense of being ‘swept away,’ ‘surrendered’ to a more tangible male power. There is also apparently a long tradition, expressed in the phallic symbols of ancient civilizations and also contemporary cultures all over the world, of the idea of fertility and male power being represented by the enormous penises of some gods’ and idols’ statues.
So my question basically is: Assuming that they already like the man as a person, do women actually prefer a big penis to a small one? And why? Is it because it’s more physically pleasurable, or is it purely because of psychological reasons?
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Name : Michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 31, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : journalist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Size matters physically, but not in the emotional sense. The thickness seems to produce more pleasure for me and not necessarily the length.
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Name : Debby-M, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 44, City : Pennsauken, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Homemaker, Education level : Technical School,First, there is some truth to the size question. A bigger penis will enhance the experience, and exert more influence, so to speak. But unless we all plan on resorting to dildos and inflatable dolls, sex will always be more of a mental experience than a physical one. I don’t know about anyone else, but that feeling of being ‘swept away’ depends on my mental connection with the guy. It has something to do with the electricity of maleness and femaleness completing each other.
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Name : Venus, City : Fremont, State : CA, Country : United States,At some point I read that either the Chinese or Japanese had a theory that the size of the man should be matched with the woman. Both came in different sizes. I guess I would be a ‘small’, since large penis’ actually are uncomfortable for me, width and definitly length. But, in the end, I would agree with the theory that it’s more emotional than physical for women, altho if I’m with a ‘big’ man I often find actual intercourse uncomfortable.
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Name : Susan, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, City : Phoenix, State : AZ, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I hate to be this vague, but honestly it depends upon the woman. Each woman’s vagina is also sized differently and so I don’t think that all women can possibly feel the same way about penis size. I can say, though (from discussions about this subject with other women) that a very small penis is often less satisfactory overall. I think the reason for that is because a woman’s internal G-spot is at the base of her cervix, and orgasm is caused by repeated stimulation of this spot. A small penis may not be able to reach it. However, an overly large penis can be very uncomfortable and make sex painful.
If I may be personal here, I never had a vaginal orgasm until I was 25 and met the man I eventually married. I had nine sex partners prior to him (all of whom had varied penis sizes, from below-average to well above-average). Because I never had a vaginal orgasm during sex with any of them, I believed I was incapable of having one. My husband’s penis size is above average (but not as large as at least one of my previous sex partners) and yet, sex with him, and him alone, introduced me to the vaginal orgasm. So, in that case, size did not matter. What did matter was the fact that his sexual rhythm was slightly different than the other men I’d had sex with (allowing for longer, more persistent stimulation of the internal G-spot) and also, of course, the emotional attachment. When a woman feels comfortable and relaxed, it’s much easier for her to have an orgasm.
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Name : Emilie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 31, City : Durham, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : small business owner, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Speaking as a well-endowed male, I know that having a large penis can make sex less pleasurable for the man. Why is that you ask? Because I can’t stick it all the way in! I can’t get into the sex completely, as I have to be careful or it hits the cervix and most females don’t like having the cervix pummelled. So I have to take it easy, and I’m deprived of sensation and ultimately have a less fulfilling sexual experience. Plus most girls are afraid to let me have anal sex with them.
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Name : Haze, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 23, City : Mountain View, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I think that enjoyment is more a matter of effort than size. Honestly, if a guy has honed “his craft” and pays attention to the needs of his partner, then size need not be an issue. A large man can leave a woman unsatisfied if he depends on his natural assets and doesn’t appreciate the nuances of sexual pleasure.
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Name : Leslie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 31, City : Edgewater, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,There is such a thing as too big. There is also such a thing as too small. All in all, I would choose too small over too big, but medium-sized is best. I do have female friends who love BIG, but most like normal, average-sized penises. Several have commented that they don’t like them too small.
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Name : Beth23174, Gender : F, City : Anchorage, State : AK, Country : United States,My husband is very well-endowed. Although sex with someone with a larger penis can be more satisfying than with someone with a smaller penis, it can also be painful when someone with a big penis slams too hard. It feels very like what I imagine getting kicked in the nuts feels like to a guy. Also, some of the very best vaginal orgasms I have had were given to me from men who had very small tongues and didn’t use anything else…
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Name : N.G., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30, City : Lethbridge, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Program Director, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If everything else were equal, I’d prefer a medium-sized penis. I think size matters somewhat, but not in ways that men seem to think. For example, bigger and bigger and bigger (more than 8 inches) is not better, it’s annoying and painful. Very, very small (example, the size of a ‘pinkie finger’) is too small, but even then, if I really cared for the guy, I’d take him ‘as is.’ I suspect that men’s insecurities about size have more to do with impressing other guys than with pleasing a woman.
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Name : Karen26774, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Newport News, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : accountant,It really doesn’t, at least not to me. I would prefer a smaller, thicker one to a long one, because with long ones I’m always concerned about damage because it feels painful, especially from behind. One of the most erotic sexual experiences I’ve had was with someone with a small penis. Everything about him reminded me he was a man, even though he was softly spoken and had never raised his hand to anyone. It was his intelligence when it came to sex that really made him erotic. It was as if he could really hear my body and was listening to it, and responding to it uniquely, that was so amazing. He was the one lover whose particular brand of sensitive maleness really reminded me that I am a female, and how sexy that is, that combination. And when I say sensitive, I don’t mean sweet or polite – I just mean listening, and faking nothing.
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Name : Jenny30933, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 28, City : Edinburgh, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : tutor, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,First, only about the outer half-inch to inch of a woman’s vagina is sensitive. If the whole thing were sensitive, I don’t imagine childbirth would be terribly popular. And like an earlier poster said, some women have sensitive cervixes, and it can be unpleasant to have one’s cervix repeatedly bumped during sex. Just as some men are attracted to or repelled by large breasts, some women are attracted to or repelled by large penises. It’s a personal kink.
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Name : Catharine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Stage IV breast cancer, Race : Pacific Islander, Religion : Atheist, Age : 37, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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