Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 11 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 4 months ago by
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I was wondering why so many black men date white girls, and why so many black men hold white girls to a higher value than black girls. For example, when I listen to black guys talking about a club, they seem to always ask if there were white girls there.
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Name : Patrick W., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : administration, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,There are a few reasons why I think a lot of black men date white women: 1) Historically, white women were put on a pedestal. They were seen as ladies, the ideal woman. A black man could be killed for dating a white women, so she was seen as ‘special’ or ‘superior.’ Therefore, she became a symbol of social status. Notice how many black athletes or sucessful black men marry white women. They have money now, and they need a white woman to validate them in society.
2) Self-hate. Believe it or not, there are black men out there who say they are with white women in order to have ‘pretty children,’ meaning light skin and ‘good’ (straight or wavy) hair. They hate something about themselves, and they prove something by being with a white woman.
3) From what I am told by black men, white women put up with a lot more sh– than black women. Black men say they can get over on white women, and black women are too strong, etc.User Detail :
Name : Mary M., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 19, City : Columbus, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,This question pops up on a regular basis, but rest assured, in general, black men do like/love black women. We marry them, love them, have kids by them – and most of our mothers are black. I think it is just the forbidden fruit theory, and that some of the white women who will date a black man will move a little faster than average, with a lot of lust involved. Rap music is bringing more whites (especially white women) into the black culture, and getting them together with other blacks. I can tell you that I will date whoever attracts me, and I love good-looking women. I don’t like the women wearing all the fake hair, and especially the fake nails. That is just too much. Yet, on the whole, 80 percent of the women I have dated have been black, 15 percent women of color (i.e. Latino, Asian, Indian) and 5 percent white. It could be just ‘Jungle Fever,’ and once the fever is over, people will tend to go back to those closest to what they grew up with.
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Name : Tony, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 44, City : CINCINNATI, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : Manuf ' g, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Your perspective is interesting. The question could also be phrased, “Why do so many white girls date black men? Do white girls hate white men?” Sound ridiculous? In any event, as cultural norms fall by the wayside, people are bound to realize that people are basically the same.
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Name : Bob-T, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, City : Ventura, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Law, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I think, first of all, it may have something to do with geography. In some parts of this country (and the world, for that matter) no one really gives it that much thought. Interracial dating, while still something of an oddity (as compared to the rest of the dating population) is not seen as an earth-shaking development and is just a casual, matter-of-fact thing. In Jacksonville, however, it may still have a stigma attached to it, and that makes it an out-of-the-ordinary, eye-catching thing. Because of the climate of the area, you might be more attuned to it and notice it more than, say the number of white men who date Asian or Hispanic women, the numbers of which may be just as great. Secondly, the media may have a lot to do with the desire of some men and women to date interracially, particularly in the case of black-white relationships. Through television commercials, beauty pageants and even kids toys (don’t forget Barbie), the idea that white American women are the end-all and be-all of beauty is perpetrated daily, even hourly. On television commercials for beauty products, white women are glorified; in almost every television program the female lead is usually young and white. Only now are African American, Asian or Hispanic women being featured in those outlets, and even then their numbers are few. And when you are bombarded with images that tell you that ‘white is beautiful’ and all else pales in comparison, it naturally becomes desireable. Your last statement is very telling: The guys you overheard didn’t ask if there were any ‘beautiful’ white women at the club, just if there were white women. If doesn’t matter what they look like. They, according to the media, are the pinnacle.
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Name : Ken, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I can tell you why I seek an interracial relationship (to all the black females who are reaching for their verbal rapiers to skewer me, I’d remind you that the following is my own opinion and can change at any time): From my own experience, I have come to believe that I am not the ideal mate for black women. My features are not that of Denzel Washington, Babyface, et al. As a college student, I barely have enough to stay in my studio apartment, much less buy an expensive car (I cannot drive, so that’s a non-issue in any case), jewelry or the latest trends in clothing. The standards set in the media, which many black females seem to eat up instantly, are too high for me to touch. Character doesn’t seem to register (even though I am far from a saint, I admit).
What I am ultimately trying to say is that nice guys appear to finish last when it comes to hooking up with a black female. They appear to want either a roughneck gangster, an R&B uberlover or the next NBA or NFL superstar. All I ask in a lady is acceptance of who I am and who I can become. Unfortunately, in my opinion, BET and many urban radio stations have poisoned the minds of African-American women by presenting so much eye candy that they dismiss a regular, plain-looking college student who seeks a regular career.
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Name : Vincent B., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,There are many reasons black men date white women. Some are the same as why they date black women. They meet, they like each other, they fall in love and so on. Do you ask white women who date black men if they hate white men? I know black men who date white women, but most of the black men I know date and marry black women.
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Name : Elisa S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 31, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Credentials Analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I would like to respond to the question, ‘Why do white women date black men?’. Although I have personally only dated white men, I have male friends and co-workers who are black. One personality trait I have noticed in black men is that they seem to be warmer. I don’t mean physically warmer, but more open with their feelings and more likely to show affection. I have also noticed this trait with Hispanic men and men from the Mediteranean area. Because of our culture (USA), white men are brought up to be ‘real men’ and not show ‘weakness’ by revealing any feelings. Love and caring are very important to most women and we will naturally favor men who can fill our needs.
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Name : Jo, Gender : F, Age : 53, City : Ft. Wayne, State : IN, Country : United States, Occupation : Information Technology, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Instead of wondering why black men and white women date each other, maybe we should be grateful that these folks don’t allow stereotypes and prejudice determine who they date. My granddaughter’s first boyfriend (she was 6 at the time) was black. I was glad to see that she didn’t care they weren’t of the same race. She just thought he was a nice boy. By the way, she has since decided boys have cooties – so she doesn’t like any boys now.
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Name : Cheryl S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 51, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Technical, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,There is definitely too much talk about interracial relationships, and why we do it. It doesn’t have to be because one thinks less of their race. The comment made about people meeting, and liking each other is, in my opinion, right. Some people look past one’s race, and go by personality. I am very much in love with a black male, but if he was white, I would still love him just as much. I started dating black guys because they are less controlling then some white guys. It isn’t about thug appeal, what the media has to say, or that we (white women), are put on pedestals. A friend of mine told me once that the reason he dated outside his race was because he wanted to broaden his horizons — not because we took more sh–, or because we made pretty babies. So, as a white female that is in an interracial relationship, I’d like to say that people should just leave the subject alone. Not everything needs an answer!
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Name : Hayrane Harris, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : --, City : Bogalusa, State : LA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,um….. listen and ask the histroy of why the brothers go to white girls. some love others another experience, but i wish black women would at least except some the respondsibilty to why brothers are going to white girls. There is a reason you know///
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Name : Rudy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oakland, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Dentist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,
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