Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 13 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 21 years ago by
.
- Posts
A year ago, my 27-year-old sister Michele dumped her 27-year-old boyfriend after dating him for three years. Robert was a sweetheart to Michele, who has always been pretty mean to guys. She admits she treated Robert like dirt. Robert and I always got along great, but we never hung out much with the same crowd. Then about six months ago, we started spending a lot of time together as friends. Now I’ve fallen in love with this guy, who is sweet, gentle, handsome, successful (and as I’ve learned this week, happens to be an incredible lover). We are in love, and I think this could get serious. I am 24 and ready to settle down, and Robert is, too. My parents adore Robert but we haven’t told anybody that our friendship has blossomed into love. My sister and I have never been that close, but there’s a part of me that feels like I’m doing something wrong by dating and getting serious with my sister’s ex-boyfriend. Am I doing anything wrong, and do you think there will be any long-term problems with my family if we marry?
User Detail :
Name : Sherry27978, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 24, City : St. Augustine, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think you’re good to go. Your sister didn’t care enough then to beef about it now, and if your parents liked him so much the first time, they should be overjoyed to have a second chance at having him around. The only thing I see putting a hitch in your giddyup – if soap operas are any indication – is that your sister may try to undermine your love so that she won’t be revealed as shallow and stupid for pushing him away the first time like so much unfinished meatloaf.
User Detail :
Name : Justin27064, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Ask your boyfriend how he feels about the situation. If your sister and her boyfriend had sex, there is a bond there that will last a lifetime. Maybe that is why you are uncomfortable with the situation. But she said goodbye to him. Your sister’s loss is your gain.
User Detail :
Name : Ronald-V29455, Gender : M, Religion : Christian, City : Edmonton, Alberta, State : NA, Country : Canada,You are not doing anything wrong. It’s not your fault that you and Robert are in love. Love comes and goes; take it while you have it.
User Detail :
Name : Sebby-B, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 17, City : Rockyhill, State : CT, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Marry whoever you want. You’ve already got family problems in that you feel your sister is a jerk. If you don’t pursue things to a conclusion with this guy, you will live the rest of your life in unrequited love.
User Detail :
Name : Steve27599, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Corporate Cubicle Dweller, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,Let’s look at the facts: SHE dumped HIM, SHE treats men like dirt, SHE is not close to you. YOU like HIM, HE likes YOU, your parents like him. What’s the problem? Go for it. Chances are she’ll get cranky for about a minute, but considering her past with other men, it sounds like he’ll just be an afterthought, even if the two of you settle down.
User Detail :
Name : Murray-C20213, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 33, City : Halifax, Nova Scotia, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Draftsman, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class,No no no no. All I have to say is, what we have here is a bad Jerry Springer epsiode. This is definitely a no-no. Even if your sister treated this guy like dirt and got rid of him, he would still be off limits. There is a reason she got rid of him, and that is she does not want to see him anymore. Getting with him is just a bad idea. I think you should let it go before she finds out. My God, this is your sister.
User Detail :
Name : Jon29363, Gender : M, City : Windsor, Ontario, State : na, Country : Canada,That is trouble waiting to happen. Messing around is not as bad but to include him into your family could create a icky atmosphere. Although your sister may have treated him bad in the past does not mean it she will always treat him that way, with three years they definitly have emotional ties. Ties that will need to be confronted, maybe even a few times. And if children are there in the future the mess will be forever.
User Detail :
Name : Geneva, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 19, City : Porterville, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College,First let me say that I believe that love is a wonderful thing and if you’re lucky enough to find it then you should hold on to it. If your boyfriend was with your sister for three years and you guys got together about six months after they broke up I would worry that this might be a rebound thing. Being with someone for three years means there’s a lot of history with that person, and if you’re unsure of where everyone’s feelings stand then you may be in for problems. I would talk to your sister and let her know what is going on and see how she feels about it. Out of respect for her you should let her know instead of finding out some other way. She could be hurt and angry. I agree with the other response that said that her loss is your gain but I also agree with the person who said that this had the makings of a Jerry Springer show. You need to find out the true feelings of all the parties involved or there will be a shadow over the relationship.
User Detail :
Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 31, City : Tyrone, State : PA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You’ve got a definite ‘ick’ factor working here, especially if he and your sister slept together. There’s some kind of weird cache’ for certain guys when it comes to sleeping with siblings. I’m with the post that said this was a Jerry Springer episode waiting to happen. There’s plenty of excellent lovers out there. Go find someone else to push your buttons.
User Detail :
Name : John M., Gender : M, Age : 35, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,There is a reason you feel like you are doing something wrong. You are. Of all the guys in the world you just have to have your sister’s ex? If this guy will have a three year relationship with your sister then have one with you that includes sex, what else will he do? Even if you and your sister don’t get along, SHE IS YOUR SISTER. Dump him and find your own guy.
User Detail :
Name : E Henderson, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : African Methodist Episcopalian, Age : 37, City : Oakland, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You have already established a close relationship with him and have done the DEED. If they are no longer together then, no you are not doing anything wrong. You have made a big decision that will require you to be able to handle everything that comes along, all the possibilities. Make sure it is over between him and your sister. Hope you both have cool families that will not trip.
User Detail :
Name : Tyrone, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 36, City : DC, State : DC, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,i can say that i have been in this situation before also. My sister had a boyfriend but she treated him so bad that i always felt sorry for him. One day i had to pick up the phone and tell him that i was sorry for my sisters action towards him and i was trying to comfort him. The next thing i notice im fallin head over hells for him. But i had to respect my sister because i knew that they did have a relationship together and that once she did have feelings for him. i had to move and on…i knew there was someone else for me out there and that i couldnt keep getting my sisters seconds. if you know what im mean…but dont do that mistake of bieng with him and ruining your sisters and yours relationship…
User Detail :
Name : Angie lopez, Gender : F, City : bronx, State : NY, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,Have you ever been in a room with a significant other and had their ex (lover) walk in, the tension just knowing that they slept together not counting all the things they shared for the time they were together! Now picture all the family parties, your wedding, your showers, your bachelorette party, your baby showers etc…..with your sister there and your parents. You should forget about him, there is someone else for you that you will find all on your own and not your sister’s hand me downs…. good luck.
User Detail :
Name : Therese, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 36, City : barrington, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : child development, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.