Why are so many people critical of my choice to remain childless? I am pursuing an education, making myself happy and contributing to the solution of overpopulation. I want the people who will be good parents to procreate - and I wouldn't be a good parent. So why do so many people feel the need to 'convert' me into wanting children?
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Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Huntsville, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I think there are 2 possible answers to your question: 1. The people around you have some kind of obsession about families: one can´t be happy without having one. (These people are often less-educated?). They think that they are right without realizing that if happiness is an relative, they can´t say that their one is the 'more right' one. Maybe you should consider getting new friends who understand plurality. 2. It is you who is obsessed about this thing, want to be different, aren´t sure what you want or simply think that your opinion on this subject must be something that EVERYONE is concerned about. in this case: look at the mirror! (or maybe the key word is 'less')
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Name : Heli21494, Gender : F, Age : 26, City : Turku, State : NA Country : Finland, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I think it's like a pyramid scheme. Once people have already jumped in, they feel compelled to take a bunch more with them. I think that some people with kids regret their choice (I once read a study that showed when people were allowed to be totally anonymous, a large percentage said they wished they never had kids) and feel like if they have to be miserable, then everybody has to be miserable. That is, it's hard to be tied down with kids when you have friends who aren't, so if you can get them to convert, then you'll have more in common again. It's too bad that all of the people who think they wouldn't be good parents decided not to have kids rather than proving their ineptitude by squirting out a brood. I say, good for you and stick with your choice. But, take it from someone who's been there, you've got at least 15 more years of badgering and perstering ahead of you.
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Name : Jean, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 38, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Computers, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I just posted under GENDER exactly what you speak of ! Please read and respond !
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Name : HMOG21324, City : The Wet Coast, State : NA Country : Canada, I'm in the same boat that you are. I personally do not feel like contributing to the world overpopulation problem, and do not want to subject any children to the way the world is headed. I think some people do not think about having kids, they just do it because 'that is what you are supposed to do', or at least, that is what other couples that are having kids tell me. Others really want kids and the whole 'miracle of childbirth' thing. Personally, I feel that those that are pro-procreation, are ignorant to all the issues concerning raising a child in today's and tomorrow's world, the school system, enrivonmental changes, social security, overpopulation, future job uncertainty, urban/suburban sprawl, etc. However, I do feel that for those that are selfless enough to consider such issues, and still do want children, to consider adoption, since they would not be responsible for contributing to world overpopulation, and would still be doing something to help a child in need of a good home.
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Name : Laura26052, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Hi Jessica. I'm wondering who these people are, and why you feel pressured. After all, you're 23 years old! Are you married? I'm 22, and I kinda feel the same pressure, sometimes. My cousin married his highschool sweetheart, and they have a couple of kids. That side of the family is now all about babies. They're already talking about me settling down and marriage. . . it's insane. My future is wide open, and I can barely take care of myself, let alone more human beings. Sometimes, when I'm drunk, I begin this huge diatribe about how I don't understand why anyone would want to have kids; they're the ultimate expression of vanity and whatnot. The weird thing is that I like kids. Go figure. Maybe you're feeling this pressure because at this age, when we're just starting out being truly independant, we start thinking about our futures and for many of us, that includes the possibility of marriage and possibly childrearing.
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Name : John, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Springville, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, My sister is a few years older that you and she notices the 'pressure'. I'm 31 and dont get asked, 'So when are you gonna have kids?' Kid are awesome. Im studying to be an elementaryt teacher. But don't want to be a father. I want to be the cool uncle thats lest the kids stay uop late and watch rated r movies. I also think there is something very noble in choosing to be childless. Look at Oprah Winfrey and Kim Cattrall. The dont have kids and the are pleased with thier decisions.
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Name : Bill23251, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : Ft. Dodge, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, If you know you would not be a good parent, then you are doing the world a favor by not bringing a child into it. To share your world with a child is one of the most selfless acts one can perform, so others may be looking at you as a selfish person...
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Name : Kerrie26485, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 23, City : Raleigh, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Media Relations Representative, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, The choice on whether to start a family or not, is totally up to you. You are the only person who knows what you want, having your own reason on why you believe that way. The people pressuring you into starting a family, or atleast you being against it, can worry about their own lives and not try to tell you what is right for yours.
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Name : Nadine, Gender : F, Age : 19, City : Porterville, State : CA Country : United States, I married later than most, and my husband and I have one child who is three years old. Often, we have to deflect the criticism of friends / relatives. They comment on our 'selfishness' because we refuse to have another child. One day this guy who was about 60 years old said that I was selfish because of my choice. I agreed with him, saying that selfishness-that is -self interest and preservation- is natural and healthy, especially for women. He shut up... Ignore it-It's your choice.
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Name : Julie27046, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 33, City : Woodbridge, State : VA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, A lot of people simply think that deep inside, everyone harbors a secret desire to have kids. It could also be that they are so deleriously happy being parents that they want you to be as fulfilled as they are. I have 5 children, one of whom passed away due to SIDS. I love my kids..they are my main focus in life. But, to be honest, there are days (and occasionally a week or two..) when I really envy my childless sister. She and her fiance travel, have money to buy a large plot of land to build their dream house, etc. I became a mother at 19. I have completed 2 years of college, but no degree. My sister is working on her Masters. Be happy with who you are, be grateful you know yourself as well as you do, and if anyone asks if you feel the need to 'replace' yourself on earth, tell them that Meredith has covered your quota for you...grin
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Name : Meredith B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Thought Movement, Age : 33, City : Vancouver, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : small business owner, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, You are too young to have children. You must live your life and wait until you are properly prepared, motivated, and most importantly with the right man. Remember that, without regrets, parenthood can be a blessing bestowed on you well into your 30's. Do not feel compelled to do so for others, according to their time frame. As you get older, it will feel very natural for you to want to 'share' your experiences and wisdom gained, with children. To play devil's advocate, however, I know many childless couples who are now in their 40's and 50's who would love to have children to experience their lives with. BTW, forget about the overpopulation thing. Good people foster good children and contributing members to society. The human dynamic knows no bounds. FYI, I didn't have my 1st until I had travelled the world, had a masters degree, found the right wife and was 38.
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Name : Basil Moreau, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Consultant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Life choices, religion, politics, diets, whatever, it is people are unsure of their own choices, so to reinforce themselves they think that converting you, or at least criticising your choice makes theirs more right Sort of a herd instinct...
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Name : TomO, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 74, City : Oklahoma City, State : OK Country : United States, Occupation : Retired, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, For one thing, especially at such a young age, why should people be asking you that? I think that for some people, seeing a young woman/ couple without children leads to some jealousy. I, on the other hand, get jealous when I see someone with children. But especially to recognize that you don't think parenting would be your strong point, tell them that! To be one would be detrimental to yourself and any child you might have. And don't forget- those who want to 'convert' you probably are extraordinarily happy with their choice- tell them that the euphria they have with their children- you have by watching them.
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Name : cynthia31783, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 29, City : new orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : retail sales, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I experience the same thing from time to time. I've even taken it a step further and said I'd like to adopt at some point in the future but that I don't want to bear children. This confuses people. I think it has to do with that old stereotype of women as wives and mothers. Women are supposed to be maternal and all that crap. There have been many women who have opted out of motherhood... some even opted out of marraige. They were and still are regarded as some kind of curiosity. I think you're fine just the way you are.
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Name : Jocelyn30578, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Taoist, Age : 26, City : Roanoke, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : artist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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