I'm 38 and recently divorced, with no children. I still want to have children but have barely reached the point of dating again. I hear the 'clock' in the back of my head, but I don't want to get involved with someone just because time is of the essence. I'm interested to know what people think about older first-time moms. What would be a cut-off point (age-wise) where it wouldn't be looked upon as strange to deliberately have a child in one's forties?
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Name : Nancy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 38, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I think it's fine to have a child at your age, even through the 40s. Just do the child a favor and get married first, and allow the child to grow up with a normal family.
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Name : Bill, Gender : M, City : n/a, State : NA Country : United States, I'd say the cut-off point is menopause. To hell with what other folks think.
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Name : ED25494, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 47, City : Kansas City, State : MO Country : United States, I can't say when someone is 'too old' to have a child, but I can tell you my situation as an example. I was raised by my grandparents, who were 50 when I was born. They raised me exclusively, so it was as if they had given birth to me at 50. They were good parents and were able to provide emotionally and financially for me in a way a younger parent may not have been able, but now, as an adult, I am facing the same issues my husband's parents face: aging parents. Having kids very late in life forces your kids to take care of you much sooner than they should have to. Even if they do not have to physically or financially 'take care' of their parents (I don't), they still have all the emotional pain that comes from watching their parents get older and sicker, as will most definitely happen. Of course, younger parents can get sick and die, too, but with parents who have kids later, it is a 100 percent certainty that your parents will die (and most likely be sicker beforehand) when you are younger. I am 25, and my parents are 75. I will most likely lose them before I am 50, even in the best of circumstances. I think that having kids very late in life is not in the best interest of the child.
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Name : Abby, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Personally, I think the older the woman is, the less energy she has to keep up with a child. Also, there are medical studies that show certain risk factors increase as a woman ages -- of having a Down's syndrome child or even twins. I think the final decision rests on whether the woman is in a stable marriage (because it is a lot better for the mother and the child if a father is involved also) and the state of the mother's health. A woman could be a very healthy 42 year old and go through a pregnancy with few problems. Check with your physician, and don't worry about the clock until you recover from your divorce.
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Name : Annie23901, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 51, City : Lawrenceville, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Copy Editor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I don't see any problem with people in their forties having children as long as they adopt. My parents had me when they were in their early 40s. I wish they were younger so that I may enjoy them for more years to come. I'm not saying that you wouldn't be a good parent. What I am saying is that the younger you are, the more time you statistically will have to spend with your children. I think that you should adopt a child that is not a baby.
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Name : ReinaNoir, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 24, City : Shreveport, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : exotic dancer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, There are certain risks that go along with an older woman becoming pregnant. The risks start at age 35. One of these risks is downs syndrome, and there are many others as well. With technology today older women are luckier in their pregnancies, but it is still an unwise decision for the health of you and the health of the baby. If you have strong feelings about becoming a mother, there are many many wonderful adoption agencies out there that can help you make that dream real. Most of the time a spouse is required, and extreme background checks are done. Adoption is a wonderful thing for couples wanting children, that do not want the risk of losing a child or causing any health problems in themselves or the child. This doesn't mean you could never have a healthy child or pregnancy, but quite honestly after 40 you should not be thinking of child birth, you are almost there, and rushing into marriage is a very bad idea. It's a personal decision, I would advise looking into adoption, once you felt the time was right.
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Name : Jessica30649, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 18, City : Madison, State : MS Country : United States, Occupation : Mommy-to-be, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, Hey Nancy, don't let that biological clock scare you...lots of women are choosing to wait until they are into their 40's before having their first child. Many women today are electing to have their career first and family later. I had my first at 29 and my fourth at 41. I also have friends who are well into their 40's and are just having their first. There is no 'cut-off' point that you spoke of...if someone thinks it's wierd that you have a child at that age then that's their problem isn't it? The disadvantages to having children later in life are mostly a matter of personal opinion...I don't have the same amount of energy that I had when I was 29 but that's about it. The only thing different that I know of is medically related. A women over 40 (at least here in Canada) usually (through the advice of the Doctor) have an amniocentesis done. This is a procedure where a large needle is inserted into the mothers abdomin through to the uterus where a small amount of amniotic fluid is extracted. From the fluid, they can detect abnormalcies with the fetus. Downs Syndrome for example is a common problem with late pregnancies. The risks are relatively small at age 40 but as you start to climb in years, the risk factor climbs also. I don't want to leave this post with a negative thought, so, know that you're not alone and many of us CHOSE to wait and are having healthy and happy babies! Take care, Monica
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Name : Monica, City : Oshawa, State : NA Country : Canada, My parents were older when they had me (36 and 40). I am sad that I will lose them while still fairly young, but I am still glad they had me! I waited until 37 to have my first child, not entirely by choice. I would go to a gynecologist to have a fertility check up so that when you do find someone (or decide to go it alone) you will have a better chance. It used to bother me people talking about the biological clock,but there is some truth. Most women have conditions that would impair fertility if they get worse, and of course, most conditions get worse with age.
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Name : Mary21981, Gender : F, Age : 38, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, My mom had me when she was in her mid 40's. True, she was a good mom and I love her, but when I hear of anyone having a child in their 40'or above, it's very frustrating to me. Growing up, my mom was the same age of all my friends grandparents. I had no one to relate to, & I never had the kind of daughter, mom relationship I saw with my friends. Now I am in my mid 40's, and my mom is in an assisted living home. Maybe consider having 2 kids so they will each have a sibling to relate to. Please stop & consider the child first before you get pregnant just so you can fulfill your need to become a parent.
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Name : cindy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 42, City : chandler, State : AZ Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, I say, if you met someone and fall in love... GO FOR IT! But do it naturally. If God wants you to have a baby, he will give you one. My mother had me when she was 36 and she doesn't regret it at all. I don't mind having an older mother what so ever. The last person said 'don't do it for the childs sake' Yeah, and if you don't do it, there won't even be a child! Is she saying she would rather not create another human life, something that will fill your heart with so much joy... just because you will pass away when their in their 40's? At least you gave them the chance to be in their 40's! Parents of a lot younger children die everyday, it's a part of life. I say have one, have two! You'll never know how much you can love one human being until you have a child.
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Name : Victoria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 21, City : Novi, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Federal Agent, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, This issue crossed my mind when I didn't marry until thirty-seven. I wouldn't worry about what other people think about your age when you have your baby--it's not their business, frankly. I had my child when I was age thirty-nine and twenty-five percent gray. I worried only about birth defects due to my 'AMA' condition the ob/gyn wrote in big letters on top of all of my charts--polite medicalese for old--'Advanced Maternal Age'. Most of the women in the childbirth class were only in their early twenties, but I felt comfort in seeing two entirely gray-haired, forty-something first time expectant mothers in my class. No one has ever said anything to me about having a first child later in life as strange, and I wouldn't let it bother me if they did. It turns out that there was nothing to worry about.
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Name : Judith, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 40, City : Tucson, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Biologist/Manager, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Nancy, there is no 'wrong' or'bad' age to have children. There is too much in the mix that is important for one to calibrate a BEST age. My only counsel, or question for you to entertain, is 'how old do you want to be when you sufer through the TEEN years...aka'hormones with feet years'??? Maybe the older you get, the less you'll require thorizene, or some other numbing escape. Then, consider that some folks don't figure that having just one child gives you the full parenting experience. Why would you want to miss out on the fighting, sibling rivalry, hand-me-downs, et al? Well, I guess in conclusion, my advise is for you to just get a hampster to care for, and think about other things. regards, nerol
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Name : nerol snevets, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 59, City : las vegas, State : NV Country : United States, Occupation : retired, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, There are certain risks with older mothers. They have a higher chance of giving birth to a baby with mental disabilities. There are however, other options. First ask a doctor what the risks of having a disabled baby is. If you don't feel ready or able to take care of a disabled child then look into adoption. You can adopt even if you don't have a spouse or partner. Plus you give a child a loving home, a child that may not have had one before. You can also adopt older children if you wish. It's a great way to have a child. Trust me, I was adopted!:) God Bless, Courtney
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Name : Courtney, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Native American/British/German/Ukranian, Religion : Christian, Age : 18, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : University Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Unfortunatly, you are already 7.94 times more likly to have a child at risk for Chromosomal Abnormalities like Down Syndrome. There is double the chance of a very low birthweight of the child. Infant mortality rate is greater. ******FOR YOUR HEALTH AND BABY'S HEALTH: If you are approaching or are over 35 and are or plan to be pregnant, you should be offered prenatal diagnostic studies and not screening only. I personally can't see in having a child past 45. There are times in which health issues, even nursing care can occur at 60-65 years old. Nursing Homes have 5-10% of population at that age. God forbid my kid come home from High School to visit me in a nursing home. Now some people live healthy until they are 90 and never need nursing care. But..... I think 50 is absolutly absurd and very, very selfish.
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Name : Mark22074, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 33, City : Bellevue, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Self Employed, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 
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