Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 11 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 4 months ago by
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I recently caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His initial respose was to turn it around and accuse me of cheating on him, with my supervisor, of all people. Is this a common response when a man is caught?
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Name : Cyndee C., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 46, City : Portage, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : telemarketer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,It should not matter what his response is. If you caught him cheating get rid of him. There is no excuse for someone to cheat if they really love you.
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Name : Michael M., City : Fargo, State : ND, Country : United States,Last year my boyfriend and I went through an off period where I felt I needed some space. When things got back to normal he started acusing me of cheating on him. I told him over and over again that I didn’t, but he wouldn’t let it go. Finally I found out that he had cheated on me. He told me that him accusing me of cheating was really just a reflection of himself. He tried to make himself feel better by convincing himself that I had cheated too. I believe this is a very common response because when people do something wrong, such as cheat, they want to believe that they are not the only one making a mistake. My boyfriend tried to make himself feel better with the allusion that I had cheated too. This might be what your man is doing.
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Name : Allie19609, City : Fargo, State : ND, Country : United States,Trying to make you feel guilty for catching him is a very, very, VERY standard response by cads the world over. My guess is it’s worked for him, and worked well. Dump him now, as I guarantee you what you are seeing is his normal behaviour pattern, and if you stay with him, you’ll just get more of the same, for as long as you’re with him.
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Name : Ann L. Lowenstein, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Yes, it is a common responce for bth men and women who get caught. Actually, I have found that if one person is accusing the other person in the relatonship of cheating it is the accuser who is usually cheating.
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Name : Don, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 31, City : Columbia, State : SC, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,this is coming from personal experience but most of the time, men are very ashamed to admit that they have done something wrong in a relationship that could possibly ruin it. sometimes they get lost in a moment and forget who they really are and what the results could be (…. especially when a cute woman is involved). although we don’t want this to happen, it is sometimes out of our control. most of the time when men realize that what they have done is wrong, they are too embarassed to admit or confess to it, so they try and find ways to put the blame on you instead of them. this happens all of the time and talking about it with him and what he blamed on you would really help.
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Name : Anna19735, Gender : F, City : Greenwood, State : MS, Country : United States,This is NOT that common, but unfortunately, not unheard of. Your boyfriend (and anybody like him) is an irresposible coward, plain and simple.
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Name : Brad19809, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 32, City : Winchester, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Computer tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,Yes it is common. A man don’t want to say that he was cheating he want to make up a reason why he cheated.Sometime the man might say you made him cheat.But that’s something a man wanted to do. So he put the blame on you so it will look ok for him to cheat.
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Name : Josephine Williams, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : Greenville, State : MS, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,When people are caught cheating they will use any excuse to try to get out of it. Their excuses generally have very little to do with reality.
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Name : DanielPfalmer, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Fairbanks, State : AK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Its true, I am one so I can vouch for us. What your boyfriend is doing is trying to misdirect you in any avenue other then the one leading to himself. Whats better then blaming yourself for a mistake? Blaming someone else obviously! He’s most likely ashamed, angry with himself, and even angrier that you caught him. Using your supervisor was just an easy out as you probably speak with him on a daily basis and/or may even have a friendly relationship with him outside of work. Is this a common response? You betcha it is. A lot of men won’t take responsibility for their mistakes. We misdirect, pass the buck, blame the innocent and will most assuredly lie if we feel it can alleviate the pressure and shame of our wrongdoing.
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Name : Steven, Gender : Male, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,Its true, I am one so I can vouch for us. What your boyfriend is doing is trying to misdirect you in any avenue other then the one leading to himself. Whats better then blaming yourself for a mistake? Blaming someone else obviously! He’s most likely ashamed, angry with himself, and even angrier that you caught him. Using your supervisor was just an easy out as you probably speak with him on a daily basis and/or may even have a friendly relationship with him outside of work. Is this a common response? You betcha it is. A lot of men won’t take responsibility for their mistakes. We misdirect, pass the buck, blame the innocent and will most assuredly lie if we feel it can alleviate the pressure and shame of our wrongdoing.
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Name : Steven, Gender : Male, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,Before I noticed your age I assumed you must be a teenager because the situation you describe sounds so juvenile. Dump this guy. You’re a grown woman, you don’t need this Jr. High School behavior.
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Name : Dot, Gender : Female, Age : none, City : L.A., State : CA, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,
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