Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 13 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 7 months ago by
.
- Posts
I notice when I’m in stores around Baltimore that black people (mostly women) tend to cut in front of me in line. I’ve been reading Y? Forum on topics about this and get the sense that black women might tend to act tougher because of a need to survive. If someone cuts me off in line, gets too close for comfort or doesn’t move out of the way when politely asked, is it OK for me to stand up for myself and not have to worry that they’ll follow me out of the store? Sometimes I’ll be walking down the aisle of a store and the person (usually a black woman) will have their cart on one side and their body clogging up the other side of the aisle. If I say ‘excuse me’ a lot of times they’ll just give me a look and won’t move the cart or their body. What do I do to make sure I’m not being walked all over but still am respectful of other people? And do you think it’s a lot of show — people seeing how much they can get away with?
User Detail :
Name : Stacey, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jehovahs Witness, Age : 31, City : Ellicott City, State : MD, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Well, since you want to bring race into it, I can talk about times white women have been rude to me, via invading my personal space, and swinging their hair in my face, or will yawn in my face without covering their mouths…but I won’t bring race into it. Unlike you, I’ll just chalk it up to the fact that they’re simply rude and uncouth people, who just happen to be white women.
User Detail :
Name : Rhonda-P-Outlaw29998, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 42, City : Laurelton, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Account Rep, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,To Stacey, are you sure that black people aren’t the only ones that cut you off in checkout lines or the ones that constantly block aisleways with their bodies or shopping carts? It seems as those when a black person does something or says something rude it is always magnified a thousand times over but say with a white person it’s just because they’re venting or having a bad day. Not to excuse it in anyway, I think a lot of these blacks probably had a problem with you could be because you’re a white woman and if you do say something see you as a white bitch that trying to tell them what to do. Or maybe they had not had enough home training to be taught that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Rude people are in my opinion that way because they at one time felt out of control or powerless about the circumstances in their lives and the only way they can feel powerful is to intimidate and to forcefully push their through. Remember bullies almost always have a sixth sense who they can push easily over and who they can’t and they can sniff out fear so if it makes you feel any better stand up to them and stand firm despite fear because they probably count on you as a white woman especially to be fearful of them.
User Detail :
Name : cocoa31983, City : tampa, State : FL, Country : United States,Look, you need to stand up for yourself. Don’t let anyone, black or otherwise, cut in front of you, talk to you crazy, whatever. We have come a long way in this country and black women have to go through a lot to get along sometimes. However, that does not give us the right to treat you less than a human being, period. People sometimes need to be told rather than asked. The next time you say excuse me to one of us and we don’t respond, say B&*^%, get out the way!!!
User Detail :
Name : Monika, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Applications Development, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Excuse me, but what gives you the idea that they will follow you home if you just stand up to them! If you stand up to them and let them know you cannot pass-by ( or whatevet they are stopping you from doing) they will move.Don’t go crazy on people, just use a firm voice.Sometimes people need to stand up for themselves , don’t be to passive. And by the way, as a Black person I’ve come across the same type of unconciderate whites who cut in line quit afew times. I just stand up fore myself and let them know I was in line before them.
User Detail :
Name : christy32117, City : hartford, State : CT, Country : United States,I’m a black woman and have noticed lately that many white women appear to be getting tougher. They are not taking much crap from anyone. What happened to the nice, mousey white woman? To you I would say, stand up for yourself to anyone you feel might be disrespecting you. Now, I am not saying to pick fights with black women, because that can be dangerous… Good luck!
User Detail :
Name : Felecia, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Oklahoma City, State : OK, Country : United States,This is not an issue of race, but instead, the lack of manners and common courtesy. You’re not dealing with a cultural trait here, you’re dealing with ignorance. Confront the ignorance – and you will have dealt with the problem. I think it’s important that you evaluate the position you place yourself in by feeling you need to stand [up] to anyone, let alone black women. Unless you are short, there is no need to feel you are beneath anyone. Once you accept this, you can begin to handle problems on -> equal ground <-, or, at least on the same level as if you encountered this problem with white women. I feel compelled to repeat – it's not a racial thing.
User Detail :
Name : Nerd Gerl, Gender : F, City : Sacramento, State : CA, Country : United States,There is no need for you to be any more afraid of a black woman than a white woman. We are not vicious animals. Just say ‘excuse me’. It offends us when white people act like they are afraid of us. We are just people too.
User Detail :
Name : Kerrie26482, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 23, City : Raleigh, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Media Relations Representative, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Honey, you have just connected with some ‘women with attitude’ type person. I am Black and I get that too. On the other hand I find White women taking up the whole aisle on occasions causing you to have to step aside or bump into them. What’s up with that?
User Detail :
Name : Gloria, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 50ish, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Well some black women as myself seem to pick on people of your race. The reason is because we know most whites won’t say anything back. In my opinion you should say something unless there is a group of black women together, don’t do it. you can wait in line for a while longer. it’s not only whites who recieve this treatment blacks recieve it too. people do it to me also.weaker spirited people tend to be a victim of this.
User Detail :
Name : tylisa-c, City : washingtion, State : DC, Country : United States,I moved to Baltimore from Alabama about 6 years ago and have observed the ‘trend’ you’re referring to, with one major difference. The line-breakers I(an AfAm female) encounter tend to be middle-aged or older White women. And (hope this doesn’t start a firestorm) they tend to be Jewish. It has nothing to do with race. It has everything to do with Baltimore.
User Detail :
Name : AM, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Baltimore, State : MD, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I saw someone do this to a girlfriend of mine (she’s white) there once. I don’t know what that’s about…but Baltimore is a strange place, IMO
User Detail :
Name : Coquinegra, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 39, City : DC Suburbs, State : MD, Country : United States, Occupation : college professor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I say, without hesitation, never let anyone disrespect you or step over you as if you do not matter. I don’t care what race you are. Do not physically put your hands on the person because to SOME Black women, that tends to show that you don’t mind going to blows about the subject at hand. Line-cutting, however, is not usually something I see Black women doing exceedingly above other races (especially White people…not just women). Some White people tend to believe that their time is much more valuable than other people’s time and therefore, they can just step up right quick to the register to ask a question or try to get waited on before people who have ore products than they have. So, with that in mind, some Black women take the stance of ‘disrespect them before they have a chance to disrespect you’ when it comes to being in the store. They also appear tougher than they are because they don’t want anyone to think that they are about to take any type of disregard from anyone. Cutting in line is rude, no matter who does it, so you need to call the person out on their rude behavior. Bravado usually falls by the wayside when they realize you’re serious and will get other people involved if need be, including the police. Start off with, ‘Excuse me, but I was here first.’ If she says something like, ‘And, well, I need to hurry and get out of here.’ Then you say, ‘Well, so do I and I’d appreciate if you step back behind me/us to the back of the line,’ and have some conviction about meaning it in your voice. If they go off on you, calmly pull out your cell phone and speak toward the counter-help and say, ‘What is the number to store security,’ or ask them to contact store security. It shouldn’t take all that, but no one should be stepped over because every person matters. Definitely stand up to anyone who disrespects you. These women are usually more bark than they are bite. Additionally, I think all women should possess some sort of self-protection weapon and don’t be afriad to use it if the person follows you outside…or ask the security personnel of the store to walk you outside if you honestly feel threatened.
User Detail :
Name : Raquel, Gender : F, Age : 31, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States,I think you should treat anybody that is rude to you the same way as you usually do. As for black women in Baltimore, I have been shopping with my wife in Baltimore a lot over the last year and I find them to be very friendly.
User Detail :
Name : Liam, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 47, City : Wilkes Barre, State : PA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.