- This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 4 months ago by
Ann L. Lowenstein.
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- August 8, 2005 at 12:00 am #4599
AnnikaParticipantThe male managers (and some of my older male co-workers) at my summer job referred to me and some other girls working there as ‘sweetheart’, ‘honey’, ‘sugar’, ‘baby’, etc. This escalated to some of them leering, groping and making sexual comments to me and a few other ‘lucky girls’. All I did to bring it on was be friendly enough to say ‘hello’ or smile when I saw them each morning (when I didn’t, some would ask if I was mad at them or was in a bad mood). I quit because it got too crazy and I’m too shy to mention it to them. Are most men who call a woman ‘baby’, ‘honey’, etc, hoping to escalate these seemingly tender remarks to sexual behavior? Or do some men who use these names genuinely feel ‘fatherly’ toward a young woman? I’m now suspicious of older male mentors’ reasons for doting on girls in ‘father-like’ ways, even though they have just met, such as male professors, teachers and coaches with whom I have had close relationships. What are men thinking in these types of relationships when they sexually harrass women who are supposed to be in their care?
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Name : Annika, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Tucson, State : AZ, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Upper middle class,September 11, 2005 at 12:00 am #43408
Rhonda-P-Outlaw29720ParticipantAnd as long as you and women like yourself continue to be ‘too shy’ to stand up for yourselves, acts like these will continue to happen. People cannot continue to disrespect you unless you continue to allow it.
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Name : Rhonda-P-Outlaw29720, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 43, City : Laurelton, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Account Representative, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,September 11, 2005 at 12:00 am #45540
Ann L. LowensteinParticipantWhat these creeps were doing is a felony, dear. Report them. Their behavior is not normal, professional, moral or legal; and absolutely not the way a true mentor behaves. They targeted you and the other summer students because they figured (correctly it seems) that you would be too shy or unsure of yourselves, or afraid of being fired, to say or do anything about it. Prove those scumbag bastards wrong. Start with the EEOC, tell them what happened, and go from there.
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Name : Ann L. Lowenstein, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Animist, Age : 37, City : K.C., State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,January 5, 2007 at 12:00 am #23348
CliffordMemberWhen men use these terms to address women of any age it is demeaning and disrespectful. Most times it is counterproductive, as I think they are trying to be cute and superior. It also could be that they think something more will come from it. When I was a child 70 years ago, I remember a waiter calling my mom “honey” and she said “I’m not your honey.” This obviously has been a bone of contention for many years.
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Name : Clifford, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Thought Movement, Age : 61, City : n/a, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : self employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,January 24, 2008 at 12:00 am #22119
GregN.MemberIf your boss is groping you or making sexual comments, he is far from trying to be a fatherly figure. He is obviously a pig who is trying to take advanatage of you because you are a young, shy female. You need to stand up for yourself, or it could continue elsewhere.
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Name : GregN., Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 21, City : Omaha, State : NE, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,April 25, 2008 at 12:00 am #20463
DanielPfalmerParticipantI think that it depends on the person. I have had coworkers, mostly female, who called everyone “Hun” or “Sweety”. They always did it in a completely non sexually way. It was just how they spoke. If they do it in a creepy way then it would be a problem. Judging form your story your case was of the creepy variety. Sorry about that, but remember not everyone who calls you “Hun” is trying to get in your pants.
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Name : DanielPfalmer, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Fairbanks, State : AK, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, - AuthorPosts
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