Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 17 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 7 months ago by
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I love black men, I really do, but so many trends that younger men embrace are unattractive to me. What’s the reason for them? I miss the days of neat haircuts. I am tired of seeing grown men in corn rows. I am tired of sagging jeans/shorts. Please stop chewing on straws, and remove the wave cap before coming out in public. It is OK to be casual, but sloppy is another thing. Sure, some of you may retort ‘expression’ or ‘individuality,’ but if four out of 10 are doing the same thing, so much for being unique. Take off the sneakers and tuck in that shirt! Shine like the diamonds you are.
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Name : Sion, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,I understand your contentions about the ‘Hip-Hop’ style and wanting to defend it. I take umbrage to the fact that you would assume I meant the hip-hop style as a whole being sloppy. You mentioned Russell Simmons and Puffy to name a few who have capitalize off of not only a fad but a new found culture. Have you noticed haw neat they wear their hip-hop clothes and wealth is not synonymous with neatness. I have seen conservative Phat Farm sweaters that my man can wear, but while he’s ‘Sporting Gear’ his hair is neat, he’s not chewing on a straw and by god you will not see his ashy ankles and underwear! I let you live, but don’t come to my office looking a certain way expecting me to take you serious when you say you want a summer job. You sound very educated and I’m quite sure unless YOU are a pioneer like puffy or Russell, your pants will be around your waste, your shoes will be shined and you hair will be combed when you apply for that job. If every young man who is financially able doesn’t own a pair of concervative pants (that fit) and a nice sweater or shirt, that’s a problem. Looking good to everyone makes you feel good and you can’t deny that.
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Name : Sion, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,You hit this one on the head! I agree, but one thing I must say in conjunction with your thoughts is how these sloppy appearances also lead to their eventual social demise. Your appearance is the first door to one’s impression of you. By dressing sloppy, others will look down upon you. When black men do this, the socially-able white and black society looks down on them – as do whites and blacks to the white-trash individuals we find covering the slums of America.
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Name : Grant McKee, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I agree. Come on, brothas. Get yourselves together. This is one reason I find black males totally unattractive.
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Name : Sheila27958, Gender : F, City : Somewhere, State : CO, Country : United States,I agree with you wholeheartedly. I thought I felt this way because of my age, but it’s good to hear that a young and intelligent black woman feels the same.
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Name : Redeemed-One30114, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 52, City : Newport News, State : VA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,I agree with you, my Sistah. I, too, dislike the wave caps and all the things you mentioned. For some strange reason, this has become acceptable among our men, and get this: Some women like it! I guess I’m from the old school, when men dressed in suits, and if they did dress down, they kept their pants up (no sagging). Shionedy, you said it best: ‘Shine like the diamonds you are.’
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Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 38, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Professional, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think the sloppy trends you refer to are hip-hop (rap music influenced) style. I don’t see anything wrong with expressing yourself and identifying with a group you feel good about. So the hip-hop style is unattractive to you … so what? Many people have different styles, and I prefer a world where there are many types of people interested in many different things to a world where we all have the same lame haircut, tight slacks and dress-shirts. The comments that others have made about hip-hop style being indicative of social degradation are assinine. Particularly today, when hip-hop culture is such a money machine, there are many people who rock the ‘sloppy style’ that make more money than you or I could imagine (Russell Simmons, Sean Combs and the designers of FUBU wear, to name a few). If the style is unattractive to you, don’t wear it yourself; otherwise let, people live.
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Name : RH30362, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Syracuse, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Law Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I agree with you. It’s funny that men and women are constantly searching for the answers to what each other wants, and we’re so willing to tell them exactly what we want and they still don’t hear us. Once and for all, hear our cry: No more baggy jeans! No more sweatsuits out to dinner! No more sucking on straws! No more lop-sided afros! Bring on the clean-cut, educated and cultured black men.
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Name : Nicole, Gender : F, Race : black and white, Age : 24, City : Virginia Beach, State : VA, Country : United States,This reminded me of an unfortunate (to some extent) social reality regarding being able to be successful. It is similar to the ‘Ebonics’ issue in Oakland schools a few years back. If one wants to be successful in any culture or subculture, one needs to learn how to speak, act, dress and work in that culture. Speaking ‘Ebonics’ is not done in our colleges and businesses, so although it may be a valid language/dialect, it may hold some young people back from accessing certain opportunities. Same with dress – I see no problem with any kind of dress – people should be able to dress however they want. However, some degree of assimilation or conformity to the groups one wants to participate in is necessary. The same would hold true for me or anyone else who moves to Japan or some other country/culture to live and work.
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Name : Mark-P, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Lincoln, State : NE, Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : sociology instructor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,If women don’t like their men dirty and working-class, how come in every cheesecake picture you see, the guy is in a steel mill covered in sweat, with a five o’clock shadow and engine block grease smeared all over his muscles? It’s my experience that once a woman has finished polishing a guy into a ‘diamond,’ she gets bored and finds another healthy, normal man-slob to play dress-up with.
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Name : Justin26861, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Your comment is completely asinine! Maybe if you’d take off the hate tinted shades and step outside of your little bubble in Colorado and view people as individuals you’d know there’s an abundance of ‘clean-cut’ black males (of all ages) out there. And I highly doubt this is one of your intelligent, educated reasons for not finding black men attractive.
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Name : Lisa22800, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Gaithersburg, State : MD, Country : United States,The type of black men you are looking for can be found in the military.
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Name : Leory-J22867, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States,Thanks for the tip, but I found my well-dressed man on a school campus, where he had the freedom to dress how he wanted and chose to be neat and well-groomed.
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Name : Shionedy, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 25, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Sheila, what are you thinking of? I acknowledge that this your own opinion, but personally I find black males totally attractive. I absolutely adore black men. There is a time for looking casual and a time for looking sharp, but when a black man is fine… oh boy!! There is nothing better!
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Name : Anne23865, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : African-Caribbean, Age : 31, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom, Education level : 4 Years of College,You are 100 percent correct. Women don’t know what they really want. What they claim to want and what they actually respond to are diametrically opposed. Those guys dress that way for one reason and one reason only: Young women love it. Young black, white, Latina and Asian women love that thug look. Personally, I find the oversized sagging pants repulsive; but then again, I’m a 30-plus engineer who has watched Star Trek his entire life and has a collection of mechanical pencils. White kids have equally silly trends of their own, not to mention that many of them dress in the hip-hop style. Have you ever seen a group of Goth teenagers? My town is lousy with them, and they are a sad, sorry bunch. And by the way, those trends are really Mexican trends that black males in Southern California picked up from the Cholos and spread around the country.
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Name : Paul S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Atheist, Age : 32, City : Oak Park, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : software engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,
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