[Kentraco]

Many African-American female clerks, such as at the grocery checkout, look past me instead of at me when they talk and don’t respond to my friendly demeanor. I know it’s not personal. Is there a cultural basis for it?

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Name : Kentraco, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 58, City : Orlando, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Water Treatment, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Chris L.]

Actualy it is not African custom to look away. I have a book that says. Whites and blacks( it uses scientific names) share in the same culture. They both use eye contact as a sign of dominance. If they look to the ground it is because they feel weak to the other. Only Native Americans look away as part of their culture. It must be some kind of insalt or it show agression to look others in the eye in native Americab culture.

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Name : Chris L., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : white latino, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : spokane, State : WA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[Jim30721]

I read somewhere that to whites, making eye contact indicates honesty and openness, but among blacks it connotes impertinence and a lack of respect. So, a black person who doesn’t make eye contact is simply being polite, yet a white person might interpret this as suspicious. On the other hand, a white who makes eye contact with a black might be viewed as having an arrogant attitude. But that doesn’t answer Denise C’s question. Perhaps white males avoid making eye contact with black females for the same reason they avoid eye contact with white females – they’re shy, and they’re embarrassed to be caught admiring an attractive woman.

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Name : Jim30721, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 42, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[annonymous]

I agree with another respondent that we may be playing too much of race in the equation. My experience has been that many folks across the board are uncomfortable with direct eye contact, especially with someone they do not know personally. I have often wondered why folks quickly lower their eyes when they make contact with me. It hasn’t occured to me that it has to do with me being black since this has occurred other blacks as well.

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Name : annonymous, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States, 

[Rhonda30029]

In African-American culture it is considered disrespectful to look directly into the eyes of a person who is either older or in a position of authority. As a child I was always taught to lower my eyes when my parents or grandparents spoke to me. On the flip side, when an African American wants to show contempt or to challenge someone’s authority, we’ll often stare directly at the person.

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Name : Rhonda30029, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Lansing, State : MI, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[L. Potter]

When I lived in Winter Park, I noticed the same thing happening to me. Once when I bought groceries at a major grocery chain store, the African American Female Clerk, turned her back on me and tossed the register slip, the ATM slip and the pencil over her back for me to sign. I left the groceries, and the unsigned ATM slip on the counter and walked out. She seemed surprised that I was offended. The next day I called and talked to the manager about what had happened, he was uninterested in my complaint. I never went back in to the store again.

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Name : L. Potter, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 61, City : Winter Haven, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : administrator, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Amanda31501]

There is no cultural bias that I am aware of concerning African-Americans not looking directly at anyone. I think this might be more of a “class” question than a “race/ethnicity” question. Consider this: If you stood on your feet long hours at a grocery serving every walk of people, haggling with nagging customers over sale prices, dealing with annoying management, etc., would you really feel like talking?

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Name : Amanda31501, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 19, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Redeemed-One30103]

I disagree with Rhonda’s reply that in the African American culture, it is considered disrespecful to look directly into the eyes of a person who is older or who is in authority. Perhaps that was taught in Rhonda’s home, but it is not taught throughout our culture. What Ken observed in some African American grocery store clerks is what I have observed in both races. Perhaps whites do it to blacks because they don’t consider us worthy of their attention. Some do not even acknowledge my presence except to take my money. Ken, if you’re honest, I’m sure your observation is not peculiar to just African Americans.

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Name : Redeemed-One30103, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 51, City : Newport News, State : VA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[Edna Walker]

I have never heard of such a thing. I know I’m not really that old, but for 42 years now, I have always been taught to look at a person when you are talking to them.

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Name : Edna Walker, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 42, City : Chandler, State : AZ, Country : United States, Occupation : Systems Administrator, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

[Wildflower]

And I thought that I was the only one! It has taken me years of practice to undo this idiotic cultural anomaly. Even now, I have to really make a concerted effort to maintain eye contact…I use strangers as my guinea pigs–of course I add a friendly smile, which is almost always returned! What my family did not know is that they set the stage for YEARS of conflicts with bosses, etc. I am very shy and introverted to begin with and that ‘don’t look at me when I talk to you’ garbage just made it worse. Besides, didn’t anyone (including my caretakers) notice that a person just looks downright SHIFTY when they don’t make eye contact with others? I think that it is an outdated and self-esteem damaging practice among black Americans that should be quashed. I say this because I have suffered as much from the reactions of those who misunderstood me and my upbringing as I have from the suffering I most certainly caused by my misunderstanding of others.

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Name : Wildflower, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 30, City : Long Beach, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Assistant Academic Coordinator, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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