Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 8 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 22 years ago by
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Why do so many mentally disabled people have such poor-looking haircuts and “nerdy” clothes? Wouldn’t they get a little more acceptance if their caretakers dressed them more like “regular” people? They stand out enough as it is without the clownish-looking clothes. There are many simple haircuts and clothing styles that would look good and provide for more assimilation.
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Name : Penny19831, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, City : Des Moines, State : IA, Country : United States, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I was a caretaker for years working with the mentally and physically disabled. First, let’s get one thing out of the way. They are regular people, just as regular as a disabled war vet, a woman who has lost her legs in an accident, etc. They are disabled, not irregular. The greatest reasons for the differences in clothes and haircuts are non-caring and money. If a disabled child is a ward of the state, he or she gets a small stipend that their personal needs must come out of. The clients I took care of got $55 a month. This paid for toiletries, haircuts, clothes, field trips, etc. So you bought the best clothes you could afford, which meant they were not in style. If they weren’t state wards, their parents would provide more, which is why you would see children of wealthy parents better dressed and groomed. But the poor parents tried very hard, also. Again, look at the cost of clothes. And you simply have many people, caretakers, parents, social workers who just don’t care. The vast majority do, but many do not. The child is an “embarassment.” A final reason that ties in with not caring is the abilities of some of these people. Low-functioning children like those I worked with (my teenagers had the intelligence equivalent of a 2-year-old) are very rough on clothes. Many soil their clothes, spill food and drink on them, etc., just as little children would do. If you have to change them four times a day, what would the cost of clothing come to? But money is far and away the biggest reason.
If you don’t like the way they look, become a friend to one, and pay for their clothing and haircuts. If we all did this, just think how much better off they would be. I know the staff where I worked did as much as we could. But with 50 children, and when you only earn $7 an hour, how much can you do? If the people who take care of these wonderful human beings get so little, imagine how much the clients get.
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Name : Jeni B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 33, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Software Technician, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I worked with developmentally disabled for more than three 3 years. It is a very taxing experience. In most cases, the most simple haircuts are chosen because the goal is to help teach the individuals how to take care of themselves. As far as the clothing, most agencies and individuals do not have a lot of money. Also, we try to allow the individuals themselves to pick out their own clothing. This allows them to have some control over thier own lives. We need to emphasize here, that what you are referring to is all ‘lipstick and rouge.’ Do you know what? We all need to look beyond that with all individuals. Even though the individuals I worked with were non-verbal, extremely developmentally disabled, and did not have stylish hair cuts, or stylish clothes, they touched my heart. I think of them often and wonder how they are doing. Their emotions are often unconditional even though many people have abandoned them in their lives. I think we all could take a lesson from them. They don’t look at clothes, or hair or anything physical, they care just because.
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Name : Leah26130, Gender : F, Age : 28, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Paralegal, Education level : 4 Years of College,Two possible answers: 1)Social security and/or disability payments do not stretch very far, especially if you cannot hold a good-paying job. This limits the amount an individual can spend on clothes and haircuts. 2)Caring for a person who is mentally disabled may be an emotionally and financially draining situation. There may be increased medical bills or money must be spent for assistance from care providers. You also remarked in your question that mentally challenged people ‘stand out’ anyway. Maybe you are just noticing the clothes and haircuts because you are noticing the individual.
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Name : Greg21572, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, City : Denver, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Law student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,First, because many mentally challenged people require extra care for daily tasks, caregivers often keep their clients’ grooming to a very simple routine. It’s a concept similar to giving recruits in basic training crew cuts, in part, so that they will not have to have a trim during basic. Second, some mentally challenged people require expensive care, and thus do not have a great deal of money to spend on a wardrobe. Some rely on clothing donated by others, which may be very worn, out of date, and mismatched. Third, most of the mentally challenged people I have met are much more comfortable with themselves than those of us who call ourselves normal. They wear what they like. It often reflects a bright, whimsical outlook on life. Finally, I have to express some concern about why you feel people have to assimilate to be accepted. Do people have to have a certain ‘look’ or act by a defined set of standards to have value? While I’m not necessarily offended by your asking the question, please take the opportunity to examine why you asked, because, as a teacher, the values you model will be passed on to the people you teach.
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Name : Stacee27914, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : Sugar Land, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : TV production, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I can sort of sympathise with anyone with mental illness who is living off the state. I have manic depression and despite living in the UK i gather that things are pretty similar money wise. I get just over 50 pounds a week benefits as i can’t work (i think around 80 dollars?). With this i have to pay for more or less everything. I’m very lucky in that i live with my parents now but on my own it was a real struggle. For a pretty standard haircut over here it’s about 8 pounds or more. That’s for a mans one. A reasonable womans cut used to cost around 20 pounds (30 dollars?) and boy, did i used to get mad at my ex for paying that 🙂 Clothes are often said to be very expensive here too. I have often paid 15 pounds just for a plain t-shirt. A pair of jeans will be around 30 pounds for non brand. So i guess lots of people on benefits just can’t afford to dress in the latest styles. I don’t think anyone want’s to look a dork but given the choice between eating and clothes then you have to make that pair of jeans last a bit longer. As an extra point a lot of the more severe people i’ve met really don’t care that much about what they wear. I found that the last things on their mind were fashion. Hope that is of some use. By the way. Site organisers, how can i pick a state when i don’t live in any 🙂
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Name : Gareth, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : manic depression, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 28, City : Newbury, State : NY, Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : Unemployed, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,My boyfriend has a 30 year old sister with CP who lives at home with her mother. The mother is in her mid to late 50’s and dresses the daughter as if she were her clone. Its very sad to me to see this 30 year old woman dressed in frumpy clothes with a very frumpy hair do and really old lady glasses. I understand the hair thing – the sister can’t take care of her own hair (or so the mother thinks) and this is simpler, but there must be a way to have easy hair that isn’t so OLD. I personally believe that the mother does this because she does not wish her daughter to have friends nor a life outside of her.
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Name : Beth23173, City : Anchorage, State : AK, Country : United States,How sad to see such shallowness and ignorance coming from a teacher.
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Name : Electric_Honey, Gender : F, Age : 37, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Occupation : Social Worker, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,As a kid, I spent a few years living in a mental hospital. Most of my clothes were hand-me-downs, and yes, they did look awkward. I was very aware of that, but there was nothing I could do about it. There was no one to go out and buy me nice clothing. It was painful. Very painful. And even today, when I earn my own money and buy my own clothes like everyone else, somewhere deep inside I am afraid that some of that ‘clown-ness’ stuck on me.
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Name : Sara, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : n/a, State : NA, Country : Israel, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,
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