Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 8 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 22 years, 9 months ago by
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I’ve heard some black women express feelings of resentment or unattractiveness when they see black men choose white women. As an Asian male, I can relate to the feeling very much so, toward Asian females. Why do Asian women consider me second class to single white males as a potential partner? At least black women are recognized for their strength of character, but I’m regarded as full of resentment. Where does that leave Asian males?
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Name : Mark N., Gender : M, Race : Chinese, Age : 26, City : Edmonton, Alberta, State : NA, Country : Canada,It was probably not your intention, but I found comfort in your query for several reasons: 1) Your statement that black women are recognized for our strength of character. I’ve never been able to get beyond being offended to recognize it as a compliment when black men who choose white women say black women are too demanding and are impossible to please. Thank you. 2) In that we (African Americans/blacks) are not alone as victims of conditioning. Your dilemma indicates that Asian women, too, have been hypnotized by the inexhaustable campaign of Caucasian promotion. Just check the pages of Y? Forum to witness the horrific, never-ending battle between light and dark blacks in this country.
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Name : Briggs, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 34, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Technology analyst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,If you think you’re not getting girlfriends, could it be that you’re lacking self-confidence? Why do you have to pick Asian women? There are plenty of fish in the sea, as the saying goes. There are many girls out there for you. It’s not a factor of attractiveness, but a factor of confidence.
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Name : Cynthia31765, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, City : Kingston, Ontario, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : University student, Education level : High School Diploma,There is a perception by many Asian women that white men will treat them better. Maybe it’s a “grass is always greener” kind of concept. I’m a white male, and I’ve known, even from childhood, that I would marry an Asian woman. My wife (Asian) also knew from childhood that she would marry a white American.
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Name : Conor, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 37, City : Laguna Niguel, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Purchasing Agent, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m an Asian male in the U.S. I’ve been here for the last 18 years. First, it’s not about confidence. We’re talking about racism. –This is a race-issue– A confident Asian male still must deal with racial stereotypes. Confidence is the surface only. Second, you mentioned that the poster should try dating non-Asian women. Answer: I would love too. The only problem is, in the U.S., an Asian man is constantly rebuffed by non-Asian females. Those very same non-Asian females suggest that we Asian men (you guessed it) date Asian women! And if it’s confidence you want to talk about, then let’s talk about that. Try being confident when, since you were a child, men twice your size called you a ‘chink’ or a ‘nip’ and beat your body to a pulp. Or how about being ‘worlied’ (forcing a ‘nerd’s face down a dirty toilet)? Or being kicked out of a dance by the popular crowd, because you’re an Asian-nerd, or a smack? Or what about TV and movies, constantly delivering a barrage of negative stereotypes of Asian men, when Asian women are often admired by the media as exotic sexual princesses? Can you honestly say (for example) that an obese female should be blamed for losing confidence? If you can be confident in such circumstances, then I commend your strength. But for now, I think the problem is that you don’t really know ‘what it’s like.’ When I and my Asian male friends in high school (and down to the present day) tried to date outside our race, we were rejected, almost without question. You’re talking about guys who tried everything they could to be ‘good men,’ to get involved in women’s voting leagues, and other philanthropic, progressive organizations. Nothing came from that. And now, women are saying that we’re chauvinists and not interested in dating non-Asian women — it makes me and others angry, angry for being ‘toyed’ with. This is not a game. The so-called angry Asian men are noting stereotypes and general racist ideas, which have been around since America’s ‘Yellow Peril’ during the Gold Rush years of the mid-1800s. We are by no means whining — we just want people to listen.
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Name : David, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian-American, Religion : Campbellian, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Law Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I wouldn’t jump at the chance to be with an Asian male, perhaps because of the Model-Minority Myth: That Asian males are hard-working, system-following individuals who bow their heads and move on when they’re wronged, vs. standing for something and having strong convictions. I know that’s such an unfair generalizaton, but it’s enough for me. To me, they don’t seem to embody strength.
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Name : Teresa C., Gender : F, Race : Asian, Religion : Christian, City : Rockville, State : MD, Country : United States,Teresa, if you met an Asian guy who was nice, attractive, and connected with you, and did *not* fit those negative stereotypes, you would still not date him. Similarly, if a white guy you met was a ‘nice guy’ and bowed down to everything, couldn’t stand up for himself, you might *still* consider dating him. The problem, really, is that you believe that certain races are socially more desirable than others. The problem isn’t stereotypes. The problem is your own need to be ‘assimilated’ into white culture, to fit in. Asian males are the ‘drag’ who keep you back.
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Name : Original Poster, Gender : M, Race : Asian-American, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Law Clerk, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Teresa, an Asian female, recently posted her opinion on this issue. Teresa was just saying how negative stereotypes about Asian men has turned her off to dating them. I ask you now, how is an Asian man supposed to be confident toward any female, white, black, Asian or Hispanic, when such stereotypes are so prevailing? What I am hearing sounds like apathy. In the 60s, blacks were not allowed to the same quality of education as whites (low funded schools). In return, whites accused blacks of being less educated, and therefore, inferior. The same ‘table turning’ and game-playing exists here in this issue.
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Name : Original Poster, Gender : M, Race : Asian-American, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Law Clerk, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,as an young asian female that has grown up in an all-white area…i believe that there are two reasons for this. one being that society has subconsiously and/or consiously conditioned all females to believe that white is better. and two because, perhaps like myself, they’ve grown up in white or something-like-it suburbia. i’ve only dated white guys because that’s what i’m familiar with and also that’s the only option (not that it’s a bad option, i am currently happily dating a white male). and with this all said, i must admit that i have a weakness for any male with a fun humor, good taste and is a Christian (no matter what the color).
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Name : kt, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Christian, Age : 16, City : ff, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,
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